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#1
Jan 09, 2018, 10:43 PM
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I’m tired, I’m just venting, I don’t want therapy or more meds but this lack of concentration and voices are killing me. I’m still lack personality and a voice. I’m just waiting for the overwhelming paranoia to set in. I don’t have time or energy to deal with this. Ex. T would be like “distract yourself” but that only makes me think of negative grounding techniques I have. She thinks getting up and do something like laundry will help. They’re so loud it’s almost headache inducing.
I can’t keep ignoring “her” she’ll just get louder and more obnoxious but living with “her” kills me and causes relationship problems. I’m already at the point that I’m consuming very little animal products TMI gagging up what I do eat but I keep it down. “Her” goal is to get me to only have raw fruits and veggies. “She” probably won’t be happy with that either. “She” won’t be happy until I’m dead. I know that. I’m already stress about the next time I eat because of “her”. “She’s” always *****ing at me but more so when I eat. I hate having the ability to know I’m wrong about something but it feels so real. I wish I was able to either loose complete reality or stay sane not this middle ground BS. I’m writing this partly to keep me sane for a couple of hours when bed comes around. Maybe I’m just thinking to much. Tomorrow I’m going to start on doing “school” work. For tonight I’m taking ambien and +5 zyprexa to reset myself.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#2
Jan 10, 2018, 01:56 AM
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  (((((( Miguel's Mom )))))) I hope you have a restful night and are feeling less harassed.  WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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#3
Jan 10, 2018, 09:32 AM
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My therapist also says "distract yourself". That doesn't work for me, either.
How are you feeling today? |
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#4
Jan 10, 2018, 10:31 AM
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I play music straight into my ear drums when it gets too loud.
Doesn’t fix it but at least it’s some kind of reprieve from the chaos that is my head.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#5
Jan 10, 2018, 11:52 AM
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I slept well still groggy.
I play music straight into my ear drums when it gets too loud. that's what I tried last night but my headphones need to charge. How are you feeling today? really confused and really hungry.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Wild Coyote
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 Trippin2.0, Wild Coyote
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