Contemplating

Since June I’ve beeb in ip 7 times by force I think. But I’m thinking about going in voluntarily this time. I feel unwell. I seem to be rapid cycling even though that’s not my normal. I haven’t been taking meds because of paranoia. Feeling suicidal and tending to harm a bit. Extreme dissociation. I can’t list everything that’s going on. I feel like giving up but might give this a try first. I just hate it so much.

It takes a lot of strength and incite to go inpatient voluntarily. Please go if you need it.

It sounds like you know what you need, even if it's difficult to see through. A'best.

Also pretty depressed because I’m in a bipolar group and just today 3 of my biggest supporters left with no reason and it made me sad and alone again.

As said by Miguel’s Mum if you do decide to go up voluntarily, it takes insight and strength. In addition, I always feel more in control going in voluntarily.

Something to consider - feeling in control, having insight and showing strength - that’s more than most people without a MI.
All the best.

The ip experience is usually better when you go voluntarily. There is a certain amount of knowing you have more freedom of choice, even though that is still limited. It is a better experience overall, imo. Plus, it is better to go in, while you still have insight.