[bluemountains]

I used to enjoy the few days of pure mania, but the transition is too quick for me these days, and the paranoia sets in too quickly for me. I hope that you get to skip this stage. It is becoming worse for me to deal with because I still am out in the real world destroying myself, and nobody gets it, including me. I isolate myself from coworkers, the people I must get along with daily, and my world is awful. I know that I make others uncomfortable to be around me. I don't blame them. I am uncomfortable with myself. I want people to like me-I am a product of ptsd-so I really feel upset when I create my own problems through paranoia.

I would love a normal night's sleep, and not to grit my teeth, and not to move my legs constantly.

Bluemountains

[Pookyl]

I also no longer enjoy mania. I transition quickly also. I carry my prn meds with me always so that I can ‘fix’ the way I feel before I lose control of myself. One of my fears is ending up on you-tube looking like a fool.

I've come to learn (the hard way) that other people just don't care enough to treat us differently. I find the only try escape from the madness is also to revisit solitude. But most importantly having message boards to vent my frustration. I'm currently experiencing anger because my dad set off one of my triggers, gambling. He knows! Anyway I truly hope you feel better about yourself soon, because sometimes hearing others issues, alleviates some of the pressure and let's face it, we all seek the same thing. Control.

Sorry my phone posted it self lol

[bluemountains]

People really don't care so I get so mad at myself for believing that someone says something the wrong way or ignores me altogether. Last year a coworker told me during my panic that it wasn't all about me. Time for the paranoia to go away.