[Theresa1991]

Like two weeks ago I wrote that I was feeling very elevated and full of energy and that I was threading the crash. Well, the crash is arriving I suppose. It doesn't suprise me because I already know this, but each time it's just ugly.

For the last two weeks I could hardly get up in the mornings, I didn't get any of my creative work done which is essential for my well-being, I drank too much in the evenings because everything was boring me out and now I am at the point where I don't touch alcohol anymore, I force myself to go to work but usually I end up crying in the office, feeling very lonely, wishing to go back to my city (abroad for three months), questioning the sense in everything and feeling extremely lost.

What can I do to catch this as fast as possible? What do you use to do?

I usually try to sleep more (the problem is that in every kind of state I suffer insomnia), eat healthy, do sports, read and play piano, but it's really hard right now to make myself do these things.

[emgreen]

I can relate (except for the routine sleep pattern). I'm glad you anticipate the ebbs & flows of your moods; if nothing else, knowing I have BP reminds me that moods come and go - that's just the way things are for us. Even if I fantasize about sui while depressed, I have faith that the horrible depression will go away at some point; it keeps me in check. My pdoc monitors my moods & makes adjustments accordingly. When depressed, he'll give me a small dose of AD (monitoring me closely) & increases my abilify (which, in addition to being an AP, enhances the effect of the AD). When my mood turns, he'll eliminate the AD & descrease the abilify to a level that won't aggravate my shaking.

I'm sorry you're sinking into the depths again but, again, having BP disorder should remind us that the worm will turn at some point. I know depression ain't fun, but try to carry on with your daily routines (I know...easier said than done). Good luck.

[Theresa1991]

Thank you! I feel exactly the same, I know it's nothing and it will go away again, but sometimes I am so tired of this ***** returning every few weeks and I am frustrated because I can not eliminate it. I know I shouldn't but it feels like I was just crying over nothing, because apart from my mood swings everything in my life is fine, I have absolutely no reason to complain and still I feel like I was losing all joy in life from one day to the other. And the hardest thing is to do what's good for me in these moments, spend time alone, sleep, eat healthy, so sports. Because the only thing I feel like doing is go out and drink the sadness away, and smoke and joke with friends, but I know that this will just prolong the state I'm in and that doing the right thing will be rewarded with instant mood improvement.