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#176
Mar 27, 2018, 03:08 PM
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Quote:
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 bizi, Wild Coyote
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 bizi, Wild Coyote
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#177
Mar 27, 2018, 07:37 PM
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I agree with Innezone. Don't break your winning streak of alcohol free days but that is your decision. Look after yourself. I know how bad the slippery slope can get once you have that fist drink, smoke ect/
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, Guiness187055, Wild Coyote
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#178
Mar 27, 2018, 10:44 PM
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Cool post.....I know it was a while ago but I'm sure the sentiment is enduring. And stream of consciousness is top shelf intelligence.
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#179
Mar 27, 2018, 10:54 PM
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After the concert tonight at the university My husbands best friend came up to me and said "you're coming to my party right?"
I told him that I was coming with non alcoholic drinks, this confused him. He said I thought you gave up alcohol just for lent. I told him it might be forever. So he said ok bring your drinks and come at 2pm I am making burgers. So I am supposed to bring a side of something. I want to be able to do this and make it work. These are very nice people. I should be able to just mingle and be around people. I am already getting anxious about it. The anxiety of people is still less than being alone. Going home to an empty house is not appealing. Jeff will be out of town until thursday late night. A girl friend invited me to go to a crawfish boil on good friday so I scheduled the day off and will work saturday instead. Lots of people who I don't know. OH boy. What was I thinking??? There will be a lot of drinking there... sigh This is the life I have chosen. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Nammu
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| Nammu
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#180
Mar 27, 2018, 11:08 PM
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You can do it bizi. The more you do it the more familiar it will become to go to parties without using alcohol.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#181
Mar 27, 2018, 11:31 PM
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Quote:
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| Wild Coyote
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#182
Mar 28, 2018, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
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#183
Mar 28, 2018, 03:59 PM
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And remember, you don't have to stay long if you're not comfortable....
 Maybe think of a backup plan of something you might enjoy even if you go solo -- like a nice walk through a botanical garden or something. Not sure what's available in your area, but it would give you an alternative to returning home right away. Just a thought. |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#184
Mar 28, 2018, 07:12 PM
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Keep on doing what you are doing. After a while being around alcohol and not drinking will be second nature.
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#185
Mar 28, 2018, 08:03 PM
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Well, I drank 4 beers.
I was just looking for an excuse. The house has workers here fixing the foundation. and there are lasrge lholes around part of the house. and they are reconnecting the foundation to the car port and the back patio. There were problems. They cut thru an electric line and then there was a water line. both of which were fixed. The power line will be fixed permanently tomorrow. It is supposed to rain all day tomorrow so the concrete will not be poured to finish the job. This evening, Jeff's flight got canceled due to weather in houston, so he is flying out in the morning. His colleague is picking him up at 4;40am and it is supposed to pour all day tomorrow. All of this commotion I gave in to urges to relieve the stress. I drank 3 dark beers which was more like 4 beers at whole foods. Ate veggie burgers with a side of salad. It was very good. I call it a slip up not a relapse. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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| Wild Coyote
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#186
Mar 28, 2018, 08:28 PM
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No biggie start over tomorrow.
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, Wild Coyote
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#187
Mar 29, 2018, 12:27 PM
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Thank you!
today is a new day. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Guiness187055, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#188
Mar 30, 2018, 12:30 AM
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I drank 3 beers at whole foods.
planning a trip to branson, missouri in october with a friend of mine. lots to see and do. Will have to ask our next door neighbors, they go every year. I went to bed tonight at 7;30 pm and slept for 5 hours now am on line. I had 3 beers at whole foods and ate way to much: chicken wings, buffalo style and a cheese tray all by myself. I am sure I put on a pound just eating all of that. Yes I know that was 3,500 calories. I woke up having a hot flash....I still get them at 55 years old. They suck. I need to go to bed, It is good friday. and I have the day off tomorrow. Am going to a crawfish boil and fish fry. Need to go to my friends by 11am. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#189
Mar 30, 2018, 10:08 AM
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I went back to bed around 1;30 am and took my nite meds and slept off and on until 9am when I got up.
I plan to be AF at the crawfish boil with my friend. This was not a good day....I am not doing well. I had high hopes to be disciplined, eat right, go to the gym, house cleaned. . I feel like a failure. and this was just day 1 with out jeff. sigh bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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| Wild Coyote
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#190
Mar 30, 2018, 09:18 PM
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the fish fry went well. I did not have any crawfish, just did not feel they were cleaned very well. My friend had some and she said they were good, not seasoned very well though. It was nice getting to meet some of the family both their sons were there with the kids.Even after knowing melissa a year I still can't keep their names.
oh well, it was nice to get away to the country. I work tomorrow see 4 clients. I wonder what I will do on Easter sunday???? jeff gets back thursday. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, giddykitty
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#191
Mar 31, 2018, 09:02 PM
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stopped at whole foods again after work. I saw 4 clients today.
Had 4 beers over a 3 hour period. Had a dinner salad and left overs (grain burger and onion rings)for supper. I am making little pepperoni "pizzas" for the cook out tomorrow. Am going to be AF tomorrow at the cook out, bringing non alcoholic drinks. I think I will give myself permission to eat what ever I want to eat, who knows what other people will bring. One year a couple brought 2 deserts. one was a giant peep, the size of a foot ball and the other one had some sort of pasty nasty bean curd..... lol This is my husbands best friend BBQ. Jeff is away visiting his mother so will miss the party. Paul is grilling burgers. Jeff won't be home until thursday night late. I have not done squat around the house or yard or any work at all except for my business. I need to do taxes. Not sure if jeff still needs to complete his self employment numbers. I could at least complete them up to that point. We only have 2 weeks left. This is the longest/closet to filing that I have ever done. I am worried about getting them done in time. I should finish doing them this week. Maybe I can do them tomorrow after the party. Having another hot flash.... sigh Bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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| Wild Coyote
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#192
Mar 31, 2018, 09:55 PM
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HAPPY EASTER!!!
 WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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| bizi
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| bizi
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#193
Mar 31, 2018, 10:17 PM
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Quote:
Hope you are staying sane! love bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#194
Apr 01, 2018, 08:53 PM
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I am proud of myself for I made it through the easter party alcohol free.
Even more proud of myself....going home from the party I said what the heck I will stop off at the grocery store and pick up some beer. Went in and looked around, nothing sounded good....Then I came upon a sparkling hard water with only 90 calories each and stared at it for a while and decided that I made it thru the party with out drinking then I could make it the rest of the day not drinking. So I turned around and went home and poured myself a ginger root beer....no calories. I am still full from the big dinner. I over ate!!! There was only one other female there and she was not very talkative. I tried to stay busy doing dishes, I am not really good in social situations. I am doing a load of laundry, my uniforms for tomorrow. Did a little paper work then talked with jeff on the phone. They had a wonderful easter dinner. Some friends came over, they are coming for festival international in 3 weeks. Jeff was surprised the I remained AF at the party. Maybe I can get back to healthy eating and back to the gym. I really fell off the wagon. I weighed myself and I weighed 175 this morning, not happy about that at all. Going to go to bed early tonight. My laundry should not take that long. bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, giddykitty, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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| Wild Coyote
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#195
Apr 01, 2018, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
thank you bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#196
Apr 01, 2018, 11:42 PM
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And this is the first time in my whole life that
I did not have any candy at all this easter! bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#197
Apr 02, 2018, 08:36 AM
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Quote:
I often wonder if anyone hears it or not. It's a song that has meant a lot to me during tough times. Thanks for mentioning it; I'd just listened again myself! With love and Admiration, WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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| bizi
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| bizi
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#198
Apr 02, 2018, 08:30 PM
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I am going to start doing my taxes on line.
Rather I have already started them on paper but just not on the line program: tax act.com, make it really simple I just need to do them!Q Hubby has not finished his portion of his self employment schedule C. I have mine and have his w2's. Need to just get started again, enough procrastination. bizi edited to add: I am proud of myself. I started doing my taxes and found an error on my husbands w2 concerning our health savings account. He is out of town right now so he said he would go to human resources when he returns to fix the error. I put in the correct number....I hope it goes thru. We'll see.I think I am about 2/3rds done. It makes me so nervous doing them. I have always done them myself using tax act on line. Being self employed, I like doing them myself. I think it would cost lots of money if I had to use a tax service. I am finished for now. Think I will pop some corn before I go to bed. bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg Last edited by bizi; Apr 03, 2018 at 12:02 AM. |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#199
Apr 03, 2018, 12:42 PM
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it is raining cats and dogs in Indy and parts of the interstates are under flash flooding.
Hubby is stuck in the house with his mom. The cable is out so no tv for her. She likes to watch fox news all day. She uses her ipad so that is good and she has jeff visiting which I am sure she is delighted about. We have a strained relationship, it is my fault. Last time I was there I cried. My m-I-L actually got mad at me and told me so. This summer I will be up with my family as long as I can get away with it. We are coming up earlier than planned to be with my family as we throw my aunt barbs ashes into lake michigan...she was cremated after her sudden death and had had all of her end of life expenses paid for. And made it easy for my folks. She still is in shock, she was only 81 years old. I feel sorry for her. Barb was her only friend(sister) there whom she did things with weekly, go to lunch etc. Now there is just Dad. My sisters come up once a month and do things with mom. We will all be up in south bend to make the trip to lake michigan and then fathers day the next day. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#200
Apr 03, 2018, 12:49 PM
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I hope that my girl friend will want to come over for dinner to my house. I left a message on her voice mail.She knows that jeff is gone and I am not doing too well with him gone.
I hope she says yes. I have never had her over before. I am not going to obsess about how messy my house is, cat hair every where! bizi I am afraid she will say no....I don't do well with rejection. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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