I got her to help with my emotional well-being but i find she is just a source of anxiety. I'm constantly worrying about her. My depression is pretty intense and i've only been getting her out once a day to a dog park. I worry that she's not getting enough exercise and stimulation.

She's currently having a medical crisis. She licked a lump on her hindquarters raw and i had to rush her into the ER. The vet cleaned up her wound and shaved her fur around it and it looked ghastly for a week, so upsetting. It's healed nicely and we go in tomorrow for her follow-up appointment. The ER vet said she would need to have the lump removed surgically. I am hoping we can avoid that extreme fate tho as her lump has miraculously disappeared.

The expense of having a dog is anxiety-provoking too. I have pet insurance for her and it's $65 a month -- an amount i should be putting towards my retirement as i am on private disability benefits and it stops at 65 in 14 years.

I do love her and i think she loves me but i am just sick with worry about her all the time. I worry that i am not taking good enough care of her. I don't have anyone to help me with her care or to share my worries and anxieties with. I've tried to give her away twice now but i changed my mind at the last second.

I tell myself, maybe it would be the best thing to give her away, even for herself. She would miss me but she would probably be happier with a more active lifestyle.

At any rate, i have to nurse her thru her current medical crisis and wait for her fur to grow in. I'm just sick about her and i'm supposed to be taking it easy.

Any thoughts?

[FallDuskTrain]

It does sound harsh but if I were you, I would give her away. It is clear that you both will be better off without each other. Don't feel guilty. THere will be someone else to care for her.
I am, although, very concerned that they would put her to sleep but I sincerely hope that it does not come to that.
I understand the responsibility. That is why I have not taken the risk of adopting a dog although I have been wanting to have a pet for a while. I think it is not fair to the animal to live with me while I am not in a healthy place.

[DechanDawa]

There are times when it doesn't work out. I got a puppy when my son was little and the puppy (large dog) was too feisty and scared my son. My son hit the dog with a hammer! (Small hammer, but still! ) We immediately searched until we found a new home for the dog.

The second dog we got we had until she died at 12 years old.

I don't have any pets now because of finances and my level of anxiety, and yes, taking care of a pet when alone can actually produce anxiety. I don't have a yard and there's no way I would have a dog without a yard.

I don't even have pet plants because I was traumatized when I moved and all my plants died, including my 5 year old cactus (from bad lighting in my new place) -

Animals adapt and a new owner who can give your pet more exercise might be best. As well, I believe that animals pick up on our emotions...and if you are anxious around the dog it will pick up on your emotional tenor.

Best of luck. It's a tough situation but you will do what is best for both you and your pet, I am sure.

[emgreen]

I'm sorry having a dog is such a source of anxiety for you. I disagree with the previous posters, though. Having a dog is very theraputic...I, too, am on SSDI, but my dog is, by far, my closest confidante. She loves me no matter what kind of mood I'm in. I've heard that pet insurance is a ripoff, so you might consider discontinuing that if it's stressing you out. Perhaps you'll feel differently when your mood changes & regret giving the dog away. That's just mny humble opinion, though; you know your situation better than I do.

[DechanDawa]

As a previous poster I cited two different situations...one where a dog did not work out and one where it did. So I don't know why emgreen disagrees. If the OP is feeling a lot of anxiety over owning a pet then in might not be the right time or situation for her. No one is disputing that pets can give emotional support. However, if the OP is feeling increased anxiety she should not feel guilty if she is considering finding the dog a new home. This is part of being a responsible owner...knowing what is best for both guardian and pet.

I would worry that if you part with your dog your depression will get worse. When I'm depressed I do things that I know will cause myself pain. Just take care that you don't hurt yourself with your decision. Either decision is okay, truly. Just be cautious. Good luck.

[Tucson]

What is causing the anxiety? Taking care of your dog, or worrying about her health and well-being? Taking care of a dog is not that difficult. The biggest effort is made when taking it on daily walks. There is the cost of food, and vet bills. So that has to be considered too. Living on SSDI may make this too expensive for you.

If your anxiety comes from emotionally not being able to handle this responsibility, and worrying about its well being all the time, and you do not see this changing for the foreseeable future, then I think you should find a good home for your dog. Sometimes these things just do not work out. Maybe some time in the future when you have been mentally stable for some time, and you are able to take on more responsibilities, a dog can then be a viable choice.

There are other choices for a pet. Hamsters. An small aquarium. Perhaps gold fish that do not need all the equipment that normally comes with having fish. Even a cat may work out better for you, even though there are still costs like vet bills. Personally, I have not had any vet bills for mine except for one time when a kitten for it’s shots. I think a kitten for you would be fun to have. Maybe what can help you now is something that is just alive that you can pay attention to and easily take care of. Some animal that does not need much care at all.

[bizi]

What kind of dog?
bizi

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by apfei

I got her to help with my emotional well-being but i find she is just a source of anxiety. I'm constantly worrying about her. My depression is pretty intense and i've only been getting her out once a day to a dog park. I worry that she's not getting enough exercise and stimulation.

She's currently having a medical crisis. She licked a lump on her hindquarters raw and i had to rush her into the ER. The vet cleaned up her wound and shaved her fur around it and it looked ghastly for a week, so upsetting. It's healed nicely and we go in tomorrow for her follow-up appointment. The ER vet said she would need to have the lump removed surgically. I am hoping we can avoid that extreme fate tho as her lump has miraculously disappeared.

The expense of having a dog is anxiety-provoking too. I have pet insurance for her and it's $65 a month -- an amount i should be putting towards my retirement as i am on private disability benefits and it stops at 65 in 14 years.

I do love her and i think she loves me but i am just sick with worry about her all the time. I worry that i am not taking good enough care of her. I don't have anyone to help me with her care or to share my worries and anxieties with. I've tried to give her away twice now but i changed my mind at the last second.

I tell myself, maybe it would be the best thing to give her away, even for herself. She would miss me but she would probably be happier with a more active lifestyle.

At any rate, i have to nurse her thru her current medical crisis and wait for her fur to grow in. I'm just sick about her and i'm supposed to be taking it easy.

Any thoughts?

I'm in a similar situation with a cat that's had to wear a cone for over a month and have thought of giving her away once she's mended and the fur has grown back, so I have a lot of sympathy and can relate to what you are writing.

There are no easy answers here. You have already tried to give her away twice and backed out at the last minute. So maybe it isn't in your heart to do this.

Taking a dog out every day to the dog park is much more than many dogs get so don't feel guilty about that. It's a deeply personal decision so I don't have any advise.

[~Christina]

If it weren’t for my dog and his needs to go outside and play time I would really not have a reason to get out of bed.

Pets do cost money. If your dog causes you distress it’s fine rehome your baby. Just please be make sure you take time finding a good home. Too many dogs are used as fighting bait dogs.

[Wonderfalls]

It's been a year since my dog died and it's hard to remember how much love there was compared to how much work there is. Our yard isn't fenced but we do have a large park nearby. But I'm determined to get a new dog (a couple years old) because I think I won't regret it.

In the meantime, though, our cat gets showered with attention (He's gotten over missing the dog.) I've always had dogs and cats and loved them both.

Even people who think they don't like cats usually find that they fall in love with their own. And they're super easy compared to a dog. I don't know if you should give up your dog. He seems overwhelming. My daughter just got a dog in Chicago and she and her partner both work full-time and I really do think she's sorry about all the responsibility.

I've also kept rats and they make surprisingly good pets, but you do have to take time with them. If you don't get them out and "play" with them at least once a day they become untame (They don't bite, they just don't learn to like you.) And then there's the cage to be cleaned.

I'm sorry this is so long. My advice in short is give up the dog if you can find a good home and get a cat.

[bizi]

What kind of dog jane?
bizi

[Sunflower123]

I wish you the best in coming to a decision that brings you peace and healing.

Bizi, Hush is a Schnoodle, a Poodle-Schnauser mix. Why?

[DechanDawa]

cats. litter boxes.

[DechanDawa]

All pets require care, can get sick, injured, can turn nasty (rats, gerbils, hamsters) and a fish tank requires constant care and money. I've had all of these as pets. Only pets I wouldn't let my child have were snakes. Even birds require attention although having pairs of parakeets as my first pets after moving out on my own was a delight. (If two parakeets don't get along it can be a disaster so one has to create a loving match.)

Alternatively, without pets, volunteer where there are animals. I volunteered for a few years at a therapeutic horse ranch, and I learned that horses are perhaps the most superior animals when it comes to sensitivity and empathy. However, big horses can be scary and you need a good horse teacher if you haven't spent time around horses.

When we first got married my ex bought me a hermit crab, which isn't supposed to be a good pet. However, we ended up having him for several years and he changed shells (his house) several times.

[Wonderfalls]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

cats. litter boxes.

Yeah, that. I put the box in a garbage bag. Spend a few minutes a day scooping and when it needs changing I inside out the garbage bag, throw it away, and put the box in a new one.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

Yeah, that. I put the box in a garbage bag. Spend a few minutes a day scooping and when it needs changing I inside out the garbage bag, throw it away, and put the box in a new one.

still euw, and veering away from OP's topic...

[UpDownAround]

We just had to re-home a dog. He was a puppy we had for several months but as he started to mature he became aggressive with out older dog. I think he has some serious alpha. So the pup was spending most of his days in the crate and my son, the nominal owner, wasn't spending enough time with him. I never bonded with him as much as my son, but it still was painful to let him go. But even my son agreed it was best; you have to think about what kind of life the pet is having also.

[Wonderfalls]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

still euw, and veering away from OP's topic...

Sorry, just thought a comment on the main topic,which is difficulty in keeping the pet she has.

I'm so sorry you've come to such a point, but I understand. During my severest depressions I was less able to take proper care of my former parrot, but I did have my husband to help ensure he was given sufficient care. If it was just me I'd surely be where you seem to be.

My advice is to make the decision that gives you the most peace of mind.

Is it possible to find a foster family for your dog?