[dshantel]

I'm in a very bad place right now. Like really bad. I don't want be here anymore. I have given so much of myself to my husband and there's nothing left of me. I'm gone. I don't understand why I'm here. What is the point? I feel so empty, like I'm just a shell. I'm so torn though because of my kids. Ugh I just want to leave. Why do I care so much about him that I let this happen to myself? I thought about calling the mobil crisis here but I know if I tell them the truth I will be admitted. A part of me wants that. I just want to escape this place. I don't want to be here but what about my kids. My husband has to work tomorrow and there's no one here for my kids. I don't know what to do. He can't miss his job, he's already been having trouble there and it would be my fault if he got fired for having to stay with the kids. And he would be so mad at me. It's so freaking ironic because why the f*** do I even care when I'm thinking of leaving this place? I don't want to care about him right now. All the **** I've dealt with this past year. I am not a person anymore. There is nothing left of me but I still freaking care. And I'm so terrified. I don't whats gonna happen. I'm just here crying thinking of how I should just end it and thinking of just leaving them all.

[Victoria'smom]

Are you still seeing a therapist? could you hold on and call there Monday?

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Are you still seeing a therapist? could you hold on and call there Monday?

Yes I have a therapist. My mind is just going and going. Thinking of all the bad stuff. I've just been holding so much in.

[RainyDay107]

I am thinking of you. I have been there. It is possible to get out, but you need a plan...think of every friend (of yours, not one to tip him off), family, women’s shelter that welcome children.

It is possible but do NOT tell him. I’m a mom and left with my child and the clothes on my back. I didn’t have time to prepare a bag of clothes, etc, but it was ok.

Scary? Yes. I had a friend to protect me and a place to go. 16 year marriage. I’m a mom, too. No regrets. I’m healthier. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten out.

OutoftheFog dot com is a resource.

Call Mobile Crisis. I’m not familiar but it sounds good. The kids will be ok, take them.

Restraining orders sometimes escalate behavior. There should be a domestic violence advocate at your local court house. Go to the clerk’s office and ask to speak to someone in d.v. But the restraining order..your choice, I can’t advise.

See a domestic family lawyer, free consultation.

I’m in a mixed episode so may be slow on PMs, but I’ll reply and support you. You CAN do this.

PS: I’d go to a shelter with the kids when he’s not home if time is of the essence. Pack some clothes, toiletries. Your phone but don’t answer calls or texts from him. Document. Transportation, have some cash on hand. Call the shelter and say you need help now. You’re still “there” inside, I understand. Please know you can find a way...put your strength, faith, all in this.

[RainyDay107]

I need to rest so I logged out but remembered something.

If you go...make sure the GPS or FindMyiPhone locator app....turn it off, delete the app. I’m not tech savvy maybe there’s something else. Keep a contact list but if you’re in doubt about the locator on your phone...leave it and buy a cheap throwaway phone.

If you’ve left before there may be a gps on the car. Probably not. Get to your location and someone can check for you.

He can miss his job. Your safety and your children come first. If you have one vehicle, leave very early with the car...and he’ll get a taxi, a subway, or miss work. Not your concern.

Ok, night. xoxox

[Patagonia]

I feel like I wrote this post myself in the spring of 2014. I wanted out so badly. My kids were all very young & I worried about my SO. I was screaming for an escape....to save myself. But I didn’t know I wanted to be saved.
Not sure that makes sense.

I don’t know your details, but I’m glad to see your post. Putting your thoughts into words & reaching out for help!
Baby steps right now. Tiny steps.
Post again, keep us informed. PM if needed.
And breathe. Don’t forget to breathe.

[emgreen]

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this space. Make sure you stay safe...whatever you decide.

[dshantel]

Thank you all. Is able to fall asleep last night. I still feel like I just want to be gone. I slept in my daughters room last night. My husband woke me up when he was leaving for work, asking why I slept in there. I couldn't even talk to him. I didn't want to. I wish I could call my T but it's Sunday.

(((((((((dshantel))))))))) You are in my thoughts.

[zijax]

I left an abusive husband while he was at work. I loaded up the car and took the kids. It was scary but my Mom let me stay with her until I could get on my feet. Now I am in an incredibly loving relationship with an actual soul mate. It took years but I made it. You can too. It is scary but you are worth it. Your children are worth it. Please love yourself and know the world needs you.