[willowtree32]

I am in crisis.

I lost a bunch of friends a few weeks ago because I stole during (what I believe, I'm not diagnosed) to be a manic episode. I don't remember what I stole or even how much. It sounds so strange but it's the truth. Well today another friend said he caught charges on his credit card that led back to me. He said he was going to call the cops and charge me if I didn't repay him back. I seriously have very little recollection of it. I know I did it but it felt like it wasn't me. I lied to cover it up and I'm now facing the consequences of those lies.

I feel sick to my stomach. It had never been this bad before. I have never had episodes like thisand I'm terrified. This isn't me! And it's not normal. I feel that.
My friends all hate me and don't understand. They think I'm a sociopath and that I'm a pathological liar.

I am so scared. People ask me why I did what I did and I don't have a concrete answer. Yes I'm in financial debt but that's no reason to take from your friends. And it was on stupid things like movies etc.

I am very scared of myself. I don't get it and it's causing me total and complete emotional pain. Somebody please help me

[SorryShaped]

You messed up. Admit it to them. If they are your friends, they will understand. You may have already lost them by lying. You have nothing to lose.
Ask someone to help you get help. Go to a doctor. Get a diagnosis if needed. Do what it takes to make you better, then repay in the future. Admission of guilt often causes more problems temporarily. Be prepared for that. Maybe don't tell them you know you did it yet. Dunno.
Get you figured out before it happens again.

[willowtree32]

@sorryshaped

I have repaid everyone back. There is nothing owing.
Im just so.....lost.

And heartbroken at my own actions. I'm feeling a lot of shame.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by willowtree32

@sorryshaped

I have repaid everyone back. There is nothing owing.
Im just so.....lost.

And heartbroken at my own actions. I'm feeling a lot of shame.

Excellent in repaying them.
I live in shame a lot and feel ya there.
Do you have a psych team?

[~Christina]

I’m sorry for what your dealing with , but apologies help for some and not so much for others ( friends)

Get yourself into Therapy to help untangle your life especially not really “knowing “what happened.

You might well need medication, but we can’t diagnose anyone , but you do need help.

Keep posting here you will find support.

Have you taken any new medications or drugs that could explain what happened?

The first time I took diet pills I went manic and thought Oprah Winfrey would like to have me on her show. I didn’t know what mania was. A nurse figured out it was the phen-fen.

Is there a history of mental illnesses in your family? There is bipolar, schizophrenia, paranoia, OCD, alcoholism, and drug addiction in my family. Oh, and borderline personality disorder. Lucky me.

Go to the doctor or a psychiatrist for evaluation if you’re suspicious.

[RainyDay107]

I agree with Christina’s advice.

I don’t know if it will ease your mind, but I often have a major lapse of memories during episodes.

[willowtree32]

Thank you for all of your replies.

I believe I'm going through a huge period of being awake. Like seeing my behaviour for what it really is. I am not diagnosed yet but I feel it deep down something just isn't right. I'm not a pathological liar or a theif. I'm not sure how to even describe how my behaviour has felt, sometimes really good, sometimes really bad, and sometimes not cognitive.

Thank you for all of your advice. I rwcahed out because I wanted to know if this was normal or normal symptoms.

[Row Jimmy]

Consult your p-doc and ask for guidance. Things get complex when the law and MI are mixed together.