How do I stop obsessing over text messages

For as far as I've had a mobile phone, I never used to take texts too serious. But in the past year or so, I've been really impatient waiting for a reply (one day at least, but getting worse) and I start to draw up my own reasons why they are ignoring me.

I've driven myself to complete exhaustion and feelings of anger are swooping in. These feelings of anger last on average, 4 hours.

I'm also being avoided by my father, a huge trigger and I fall deeper into the abyss. I'm thinking of getting high, but it's only 8:25 am

I'm being ignored textually too. If somebody figures it out, let me know too please

The whole "texting" thing can lead to so many misunderstandings, and as you are experiencing, can be a source of anxiety.

(Same goes for posts online. It can easily happen to any/all of us.)

I don't text a lot. I discourage people from texting me, except for immediately necessary communication. I mean immediately necessary, as in something like "I am going to be 30 minutes late," or similar. I won't participate in ongoing, in depth, conversations on text. There is the potential for too many misunderstandings.

Someone was creating so many issues on my texting device, so often, that I'd started to have anxiety attacks whenever my phone sounded off, letting me know of an incoming text. When they'd finally stopped, I'd changed my text tone in order to stop the anxious response to the prior tone.

I favor using the phone for most communication in my daily life. There are fewer misunderstandings.

I hope you find a way to communicate that does not cause you so much anxiety. Maybe some of your ideas about what others are doing, thinking, texting are in error? It's so easy to make those types of mistakes. And... maybe you are being misunderstood by someone on the other end of your texts sometimes?

I wish you Peace.

WC

I send a text and the forget about it. I can't control what the other person does, so why drive myself crazy. It's sort of acceptance. They will write back or they won't and I have other things to put my energy into.

I agree with Sad girl. I just send a text and if they write back so be it. If not oh well.

If we're having a conversation and they stop responding, it's very much a let down to me.

Its the age of instant acess and people are use instant communication at all times no mater where they are. Many ppl get upset when soneone does,not answer them right away, its a common thing these days. Most of the time if someone stops answering its because they are busy and thats about it

Im 36 and remember if you wanted to receive an expected call you would have to stay in the house all day waiting haha

Yes!

And so I text people and ask: "When can we talk(on the phone)?"
Works out well for me!


WC

WC,

I know a call goes further, but I never know what to say in the heat of the moment, so I text.

Yes, texting does give us more time to respond, it's true!


WC

I think some people are preoccupied or just plain lazy. Either way this has nothing to do with the one that sent the initial text message. I know one, a wife of my step son, that responds to my text twenty minutes later, or even two hours later. I find that this happens to others who have sent her a text message. No big deal, but sometimes it can be a little frustrating.

By the way, I remember rotary dial phones and party lines. I remember there were telephone exchanges that were given their own prefix. Due to this, I was able to see the region they were located. Oh yes, I remember the days before toll free 800 numbers. My uncle came up with the initial concept behind this when he worked for AT&T, which was at the time an actual land line telephone company. What a bit of history.

It looks like I have said too much.

Okay okay. I'll step up. I once took a month to respond to a text. I am notorious for reading them at inopportune times and forgetting about them. I own a business and have four children. Compound that with mental illness and meds, my mind is a very busy place. I LOVE my friends, but I goof up sometimes. I try very hard to go through my texts and fb messages at the end of the day, but it doesn't always happen.

I have a love hate relationship with texting.

I can’t get enough of a cell signal to actually make a phone call as I live in bfe , so if I want to make a call I have to drive half way to town.

So a lot of communication from and 2 me is text, I just had to accept it.

I won’t have a house phone , just another bill I don’t need and telemarketing calls infuriate me lol

I think for you it sucks that you don’t get responses quickly maybe talk to your T to come up with a way for you to be okay not getting a response right away. Sucks , sorry you go through this.

People are going to have times when they can’t reply and forget later to reply.

If it’s my daughter, I’ll wait several hours and send a question mark to remind her.

I keep my phone alerts turned off when I need to concentrate and leave it where I can’t get to it when I’m working on something. I’m struggling myself with an Internet addiction, so I’ve been thinking about this.

I find the phone stressful so almost everyone gets bumped to voicemail so that I can vet the caller.
My phone is on silent a lot. The kids know to call my hubby if there’s an emergency.

Nah nope i stand by what i said m whether ppl are busy or"lazy" they dont really EVER have to answer you if they plain just dont feel like it. Like i said this is a new thing and ppl are just in the habit of getting the communication they want when they want it

That's cool, but I was talking about my support group (family) which I know changes everything I've said. But the question is still valid in coping with the misunderstanding of texts. Something that's baffling in the present moment.

Honestly, I find the whole texting thing infuriating. I have been on the other side of that conversation too, where you send out a text and.......NOTHING. It used to anger me, give me total anxiety, and give me so much stress.

This is how I handled it at the time. At first I gave up the convenience of the phone, and used my computer to communicate with people. I could see that they were "online" and I could also see when they were "typing' me a message. (Actually I think the IPhone MIGHT have this feature, I mean I don't know I don't have one, but I have heard people talk about their "Imessanger" having it).

Look, it might not be a solution that works, because it would involve the other party getting the app, whatever it might be, (I use Skype). I hope you realize that the aspect of "control" is what is going on here. You WANT them to answer, and become frustrated when they don't. As much as we want to WILL people to answer, it is totally out of our control to make that happen.

To cope with such a thing, is to change the game in which this whole "texting" thing is played. (I am sorry for calling it a game but sometimes it really feels like people are doing that doesn't it?) Taking my power back when communicating with people, helped a lot, and having those features of seeing them "online" and when they were "typing" eased a lot of that anxiety for me. It also helps that most of the apps that do this are available on a phone now too.

I am 37, so I DO remember the days of waiting around all day for a phone call, and that was just as infuriating. The good news is, as I got older, I got rid a lot of the people who used to be flippant with me when it came to communicating. But even now, I had someone disappear entirely from communicating with me recently. Sometimes, no matter what you do to avoid it, some people make the choice to move on without you. It hurts, but sometimes you just have to let go too.

Problem solved. I deleted these "text or call me anytime" people from my contacts. The only thing that's making me feel miserable at the moment is that, I deleted both my sisters. This "control" is the only way to fool proof that I will ever feel like this again.

I was going to go straight today..
Blaze up

I'm impatient about someone texting me back, too. It does make me feel like I'm being ignored or then I over analyze MY text and wonder if I said anything wrong. It can be exhausting if you let it consume your mind.

It's easy to tell you to take it easy and it's the other persons problem and not yours. It's not easy to believe it, but really, feel better and try to understand it's not you or anything you've done. The other person has accountability here.

Again, I hope you're able to cope with it and you feel better soon. Stay away from your drugs also because they will only make you feel worse.

In computer language, delete 'em all. If it's important (for them) they will call.

I can relate to this. It was more of a problem for me last year than this year, but I still have that natural feeling of worrying about whether someone is going to text back. It got to a point where I shut people out or just stopped texting certain people and wait for them to text me. It helps me to take a break in general from texting certain individuals who make me feel ignored. There are certain people still out there (who tend to be older, but not always) who just aren't phone people. I try not to take it personally and just accept that is how they are and not immediately jump to the thought that there is something wrong with me or allow my mind to quickly go to a sense of rejection.

I know it's easier said than done. I agree with what others have said though about deleting certain people. There's also nothing wrong with taking a break from texting, and if someone wants to talk badly enough, they'll get in touch with you. Keeping your mind occupied with other things after texting someone can help with avoiding anger from building and just know there's nothing wrong with you. I often wish people would send a simple text right back, but there's no controlling others. All we can do is try to control our response to it.

Re: immediate replies. If I cannot respond in full to the text and we cannot talk, I send a smiley face so the person knows I know the text has arrived and I will try to communicate with them later. Anyone used to contacting me by text knows what the smiley face means.

WC

This is such a good idea. I'm going to start implementing this.