[xRavenx]

I still feel embarrassed about breaking down at work Friday where I literally had a panic attack and was shaking and a staff member talked to me for about an hour and had a supervisor come in. Have you ever broke down in front of people outside of family in a work setting or in a public setting where you were really embarrassed? I know I can't un-do it, but now I am afraid of being perceived as someone who is a drama queen or overly sensitive. There were legitimate stressors at work that were difficult to deal with: not having my own supervisor on site, carrying out extreme duties that my job does not call for (basically doing other peoples' jobs), and one woman came down really hard on me for something that was not even my fault. It's too long to explain.

Although they were supportive, the one supervisor ended up confronting the woman who was giving me a hard time, and she tried to downplay it. I don't want to be on bad terms with her though. I'm just afraid of my reputation now to be honest. I like to appear that I can "handle" things, even when I am struggling inside. When I have hypomanic energy, I can handle a lot of things, but that isn't sustainable. I wish I would have taken a break before it got to that point of others witnessing me fall apart.

How can I overcome this?

[SorryShaped]

Hold your head high. You've gotten past all the rottenest of it all. It's going to be ok. Write it off as #### happens sometimes

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Hold your head high. You've gotten past all the rottenest of it all. It's going to be ok. Write it off as #### happens sometimes

Thanks. Hopefully the people who saw me like that will forget about it soon enough. I wish a supervisor didn't see me, but nothing I can really do about it now.

[Guiness187055]

Yes I left work in an ambulance. I had a panic attack so bad I thought I was having a heart attack. Very embarrassing.

[*Laurie*]

I recently went through a manic episode that lasted about a month before I got medicated. During that time I had a professional situation that involved discussion of a topical issue in our society. Well, I lost it. I was FURIOUSLY disagreeing with the rest of the group (I'm sorry I'm being a bit vague here; occasionally I know IRL a couple of people on PC and I don't want to get too specific). I mean, I was an inch short of throwing a chair because I was feeling my rage so intensely.

I left that situation in a rage...but now I'm embarrassed and ashamed (now that I'm on a med that keeps me from being manic).

All we can do is carry on and let time put a distance between the embarrassing event and "now". Hold your head up, smile, and take a few good, deep breaths. It'll be okay

[SorryShaped]

I did leave a place I worked at ages ago. I looked around and everything that day seemed so wrong around me. I slammed a $3000 coolant-channeled tool at probably 5000 RPM into a piece of hardened stainless but thought I was doing my job. I didn't understand what I'd done and left. I drove my bike the 9.5 miles mostly with my eyes closed, hoping I'd get hit the whole time. I didn't go back for three days. I was embarrassed and didn't understand. I was so fed up with everything. I ended up in an outpatient clinic being told I had a severe caffeine addiction, needed medications but never knew what or anything. I tried to keep that job but went into a mania because as I later found out, my now-ex had been giving me antidepressants and not until she ran out did she convince me to go and get my own. I did and went into full mania, breaking something else at the job, losing the job because of it, and then losing the antidepressants.

It’s going to be all right

I know it’s hard. I won’t repeat my story, but the two times I went manic was beyond obvious at work.

You can chalk some of it up to personal stress. Do they know your boyfriend died? I hope I have that correct. Everyone knows I’m a widow, and I know my last employer cut me some slack because of it.

Do you get migraines? I’ve read this is common problem for people with bipolar. I definitely have this problem. I will tell people I’m under stress due to migraines too.

There is always personal stress. You can always say you’ve been under personal stress. If anyone presses, just tell them it’s too difficult to talk about. Because it is, right?

The woman bothering you is probably going to clam up now. She’s been called on her **** now.

And remember this—people think more about themselves than they do you. They’re not thinking about you.

Don’t worry!

[cool09]

I broke down at my volunteer job at the hospital. A nurse had to escort me to the emergency room and she didn't want to listen to me cry. It was embarrassing.

[DeFyYing]

It's great that you were functioning at your job and held it together for so long, don't worry people crack at work from stress, even without mental disorders. I'm sure they would understand, and this one time won't change their perception of you from the rest of the time you kept composure.

I was manic for 9 months at school and completely embarrassed myself by being a complete spastic. I will never see any of them again but I can't get over it, I feel the need to explain myself to them since they all looked down on me and thought I was on cocaine. It's hard to let go, so I don't mean to downplay how hard it can be. But one isolated incident won't jeopardize someone's perception of you, everyone has a breaking point

I had a panic attack at a class I was at. I ended up crying. Super embarrassing. But I went back to the next class with my head held high anyways. It takes a lot of strength to live with anxiety and to get through panic attacks. It was nothing to be embarrassed about anymore than getting a bloody nose. It's a symptom of a condition that isn't anyone's fault.

[Pookyl]

I was sitting with my husband at a cafe outside. For no particular reason and no trigger I bolted up from the table and ran in front of oncoming traffic. I had a full blown panic attack.
To top it all off, the car whose bonnet I grabbed was a cop car. I felt like an idiot.

However, I wanted to reassure you, as time passes people will forget about what happened.

[Tucson]

I was losing it in front of a judge in court while I was trying to cross examine the police officer. I wish that all I needed to do was tell the judge my part of the story. Instead he liked us to cross examine each other in court. Must be fun for him watching this happen. I never want to go through that ever again. My body started shaking allot. I apologized in court over this. Embarrassing.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by key tones

It’s going to be all right

I know it’s hard. I won’t repeat my story, but the two times I went manic was beyond obvious at work.

You can chalk some of it up to personal stress. Do they know your boyfriend died? I hope I have that correct. Everyone knows I’m a widow, and I know my last employer cut me some slack because of it.

Do you get migraines? I’ve read this is common problem for people with bipolar. I definitely have this problem. I will tell people I’m under stress due to migraines too.

There is always personal stress. You can always say you’ve been under personal stress. If anyone presses, just tell them it’s too difficult to talk about. Because it is, right?

The woman bothering you is probably going to clam up now. She’s been called on her **** now.

And remember this—people think more about themselves than they do you. They’re not thinking about you.

Don’t worry!

Thank you. One of the supervisors there is aware that my boyfriend died. I also explained that I am going through health problems (I was recovering from a kidney infection). The woman that was bothering me has not said anything to me other than a "hello" in the hallway, so I think it's safe to say she's not going to say anything anymore. I sometimes get migraines or tension headaches.

I have a feeling everyone at work is really stressed, so maybe they'll forget about this soon enough (fingers crossed).

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by DeFyYing

It's great that you were functioning at your job and held it together for so long, don't worry people crack at work from stress, even without mental disorders. I'm sure they would understand, and this one time won't change their perception of you from the rest of the time you kept composure.

I was manic for 9 months at school and completely embarrassed myself by being a complete spastic. I will never see any of them again but I can't get over it, I feel the need to explain myself to them since they all looked down on me and thought I was on cocaine. It's hard to let go, so I don't mean to downplay how hard it can be. But one isolated incident won't jeopardize someone's perception of you, everyone has a breaking point

Thank you. I had a past job where I had a breakdown in 2012 where I became paranoid and delusional, and it was really embarrassing, but I ended up quitting. It was a good move to quit though, because I was very unhealthy mentally, and it was an awful place.

Luckily, I am not experiencing any psychosis recently, and this is a more positive work environment than the other one, although they both have their downsides. I don't want it to get to the point that I was at in 2012. Also, a few years later, I had an old boss witness me burst out in tears, but luckily, that was forgotten. This is the longest that I've gone without having any kind of public breakdown in front of co-workers, so I was feeling kind of defeated, like I couldn't hold myself together. At least I didn't quit on the basis of embarrassment though. I talked to my pdoc and felt a little better.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've had quite a few breakdowns in my career. I've also had panic attacks at the pharmacy and in restaurants. I haven't had any recently, but I've been on gabapentin for a while now.

One thing I did learn though is not to think about what other people thought of me because I have no control over that. It also just makes things worse for me.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC