[boogiesmash]

I haven’t posted much lately. Mainly been busy and enjoying my cats. I did sleep all day yesterday and was feeling slightly depressed about all the bad in the past 6/7 years.
Today was cleaning my room as it’s the only place I haven’t allowed my cats in so they can hang out. I found some old pictures of me and some friends in college. I looked good . It felt good reminiscing about the fun times I had with them. I then got sad. We have parted ways slowly and felt envious of all their success, children relationships, weddings. I only went to one in this group. I felt why did they not invite me and why did we grow apart etc. but I still smile at the good times.

I don’t know. I feel good about the past, before depression struck, miss my old life and friends. Also envious, jealous and sad my life didn’t go as I wished. Drawing this night as a sorta wash.

I have to beat this anxiety if staying by myself and not getting sadnloking st others and seeing all they have accomplished.

[boogiesmash]

Damm anxious and depressed. I need out of this shell. I need to lose more weight. I don’t want to give up but it seems so distant and unobtainable. I want to put the fort in but I can’t get out of this shell. S9meone please give me advice.

[Slightlydelusional]

Yo Boogie, have you been doing your Kung Fu and exercising? Im sick of having extra weight myself and cant exercise besides walking and hiking due to injury and the slow rate of weight lose sucks so hard BUT Im getting results. I completely cleaned my diet up and only drink water and no more fast food crap, ice cream, chips, candy, etc and I feel if I keep this up by the end of the year Ill hit some serious weight loss goals.

So my advice would be not to quit and keep pushing and look for any positives u can find.

[boogiesmash]

Thanks brotha. I hurt my calf pulled it from a cramp. Very painful. Been limping. My anxiety has grown and don’t want to get out of the house or meet people. All I have been doing is in the house. Luckily got two cats last week.
I think I may have male problems. I was thinking of my last time over the summer and it wasn’t good. It’s embarrasing but I want to be back. Just add list of all my medical problems. Never ends.

[boogiesmash]

I went to a weight loss doctor and their diet for weight loss without exercising is 3 protein shakes a day and one low carb meal. 900-1100 calories daily.

[*Laurie*]

Mental illness can be cruel in that it often keeps us from moving ahead in life like it seems our friends have.

It can be a very lonely feeling. I find support groups very helpful when I feel isolated from "normal" people.

Is it your bedroom that you don't allow your cats into? I dunno...my cats are in my bedroom a lot and especially when I go to sleep at night it's a great feeling to have them there with me. Just a thought.

[boogiesmash]

I didn’t let them in cause it was messy and scared they’d find something to ruin. I cleaned up still have clothes everywhere but they are now sleeping on my bed

[Unrigged64072835]

I wonder when I look at my high school friends whether they would've lived with all the MIs I have. I doubt most of them would have. Some of them wouldn't have been able to deal with weight gain either. (I went to a pretty snooty high school my last two years.)

I stopped comparing myself to other people quite a while ago. I look more for people who would like my talents and not judge my limitations.

[pirilin]

My dear friend boggie, the grass always looks greener in the other side.
You don't know what they have or are going thru.
Be happy with yourself.
Being alive and having a job is good enough for now.
Having the capacity to love and share it with your cats is priceless.
Focus in the positives. And look for a woman. She won't come knocking at your door.
You have to fight for it. Like you have fought for everything else.
You have a friend.

[Slightlydelusional]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Thanks brotha. I hurt my calf pulled it from a cramp. Very painful. Been limping. My anxiety has grown and don’t want to get out of the house or meet people. All I have been doing is in the house. Luckily got two cats last week.
I think I may have male problems. I was thinking of my last time over the summer and it wasn’t good. It’s embarrasing but I want to be back. Just add list of all my medical problems. Never ends.

Thats sucks, but the calf will heal and u will be good to go. I hear you on the social anxiety, I have that going but have forcing myself to do stuff with other people at least twice a week. The other problem will take care of itself with time and stress reduction.

[boogiesmash]

Thanks man. So calf is feeling better but it’s ll bruised up a week and half later of a sudden.