[boogiesmash]

Has anyone ever overcome and win? I feel that year after year has been bad ever since turning 30. All it’s built up, failures, shames, mental decline, male problems, weight gain, relationships, finances. I was on an upswing but have been having up and down days. Have gone a day or two missing meds, just cause too busy. Also had a few days that all I did was sleep. I seem to have lost motivation to do my coping skills, meditation and positive affirmations. Actually feel I been having negative affirmations. I also try to plan but don’t always follow through and my gym time has been decreasing.

I guess my problem is following through and punching through anxiety and depression from looking at people.

Help and tips please.

[Moreta]

I had been on a general decline since I was 25, when I hit 30 my body decided to start falling apart too. I'm 33 now and finally feel like I'm winning something. I got fired from my job in 2015 and haven't worked since cause I've been trying to get SSDI, which in NC takes for-****ing-ever. Still don't know if I got it yet. Had a hearing in November and still haven't heard anything. Anyways, the past 3 years I've worked with 2 therapists and a shaman. I took a lot of time and learned a fair chunk of DBT and it has been so beneficial. I HAD to change cause if I didn't my husband was gonna leave me and I didn't want that to happen. Oh technically you could say I worked with 3 therapists cause me and my husband did marriage counseling too. I also worked closely with my pdoc to get my meds straight and low enough where I could function and got off a med that made me eat everything in the kitchen except the sink. I've worked closely with my pain dr too to get my pain down to a more tolerable level. In december my GI system revolted and I became intolerant to a lot of food (gluten, dairy, soy, beef, pork, melon, cucumbers). In february I found out that I had non alcoholic fatty liver disease so I went to a nutritionist and they said to also do low carb and cut out added sugar. Since I modified my diet in December and again in Feb, I have lost 30 lbs. I don't have a choice but to eat healthy now. I think our mood is tied a lot to what we eat. My pdoc pushes the MIND diet a lot, but I'm trying to do low fodmap (it suuuucks) but my tummy is so much happier. It's taken a long time to get here. A lot of therapy, a lot of meditation, a lot of hippy ****, and a lot of looking at what was making me so unhappy in the first place. One of those things being the emotional abuse from my mom that I got all the time. I cut her out of my life last year and actually had a decent year and was able to process things better. I have worked through a lot of my past trauma in the past 3 years and finally found out what I'm passionate about (politics). It isn't easy and takes a lot of hard work to get out of a hole, but it can be done. Only took me 17 years to figure out wtf I was doing. haha.

[pirilin]

When I win, must of the time, is by cheating.