"Flight of ideas," ready to crash

When reading about Bipolar, lately the symptom "flight of ideas" jumps out at me as something that is causing me a lot of problems and interferes with my functioning.

I think I am rapidly cycling a lot lately. When I have periods of energy, I've been telling people "let's plan a trip here..." "let's do this and let's do that."
Even at work, I recently took on more responsibility, thinking it will be fine, and now I wish I had put my foot in my mouth. I feel lately that I mislead people into thinking I want to and have the ability to do all these things. When I'm in hypomania, I really think that I can keep up with all this stuff. However, I can't. I really can't. I'm at my breaking point.

Not to mention, I had the worst stomach problems yesterday from something I ate, and it interfered with taking my meds, so I feel even more off balance (missing Seroquel until finally taking half a dose this morning when I was finally able to keep it down especially messed me up).

I was feeling some relief from depression during those recent bouts of hypomania, but the depression is coming back hard. I didn't even want to be seen the other day. I have just been wanting to wear my pajamas and not be seen. Right now, I kind of envy people who look forward to dressing up and going out with confidence. I want to disappear. I really do.

Now, I feel like I am going to let everybody down who witnessed me being productive and full of ideas and energy. I feel like a bad friend during depression. I don't want to go out or do anything. I don't even know who I am anymore or what I want, because my behavior and ideas are so all over the place.

I am just really struggling and would like to hear from anybody else who can relate to having so many ideas during hypomania or mania, but then all of the sudden, you can't keep up and don't know what to do to deal with the aftermath? I just don't know where to go from this point on.

Ah, the hypomania fallout...yes, I got myself into some problems at work last summer, then I couldn’t see how I could possibly do the job when I crashed.

It was so bad, I didn’t see how I could go on I know the fretting is so bad

I ended up needing a med change and working with my therapist. I am surprised at how much I’ve been able to accomplish. More than I thought I would. Don’t let the lens you’re looking through right now be your defining image. It’s distorted.

I had to admit to people that something I came up with doesn’t make sense.

I also had to write a little proposal for something I needed. Because I can’t do this without help.

I have something else I’m worried about I don’t know how to get out of that my mouth got me into. I’m still thinking about it...well, mostly avoiding it, but I’ll get there.

I have a thread in the Depression Forum called replace a negative thought with a positive one. I think it helps a lot. Most of my posts there are about work.

Thank you, key tones.
I'm going to check out that thread. It sounds really helpful.

xRavenx - you are so welcome!

I absolutely love that thread. It helps me remember to do what my therapist says will help

I'm notorious for taking on more work at work when hypomanic, then having an "oh s***" moment when I start to come down.

Is your mind bouncing around a lot or is it a bunch of thoughts coming in at the same time? I can't stand that. I've had that for decades. I used to think I could use it to my advantage but not anymore.

Yes, that's exactly what is happening. I also thought that I would be able to use it to my advantage since the initial hypomania makes me feel more social, agreeable to taking on more at work, and my mind jumps from one idea to the next and before I know it, I am planning a million things (not just involving work, but all kinds of things in general). My thoughts race a lot, and that's always been a problem. Sometimes it leads to psychotic mania with bad racing thoughts. Whether mania or hypomania, it ends up interfering with all areas of functioning, and then I completely burn out, crash, and end up in a depression.