It backfired.

So, After my elation of coming off the ariprazole (and irritability, argumentative twat that I was being, sorry) around 10 days later I started to come down and got very depressed. I’m now back on the ariprazole but at a lower dose, but still having suicidal thoughts, although I don’t feel depressed as such. I forgot how much I’m afraid of my depression but I’m also afraid of returning to a state of flat personality. I’m already feeling slightly slowed.

It's really hard to find that happy medium cocktail.

I feel flat most of the time and I hate it. But it's better than the alternative.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist? My thinking either gets slow when I'm depressed or it speeds up.

Not at the mo, just a counsellor. Haven’t seen my psychiatrist for years. Last time I saw him I had to remind him what meds I take he doesn’t bother even reading my notes before hand!

Not necessarily.

In both cases, you can't enjoy life, so I don't think one is always better than the other. They're just different ways of struggling/suffering. Kind of like people with BP 1 can have severe psychosis and people with BP 2 can have severe depression. Both can really f'up your life

I got suicidal thoughts when stable. I wasn't depressed at at all, but then I did because I said to myself,



So it's just a different feeling. It's not necessarily a chemical in balance, but situational problems.

I'm so sorry. I really hate that flat feeling. It is awful

The same experience happened to me. I was on celexa (40mgs) for several years and felt flat. I went off and tried to use supplements and amino acids, and exercise for mood, but after a couple of months, I was really depressed and anxious. I went back on celexa but 20 mgs and it's been a year now and I seem to be doing well. I try to get about 30 minutes of exercise a day (mostly walking). Maybe you can try that? Best wishes.