 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#401
Apr 11, 2018, 11:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Feeling anxious. My father in law fractured his neck. He is having surgery friday to fuse together c4,5 and 6 vertebrae. He is in Nashville, tenn. So no way of getting to him. Our car is no shape to drive that far plus we just don't have the funds right now to travel. So we are praying from a distance. They are understanding of our situation. They were in Kentucky doing some work on a house down there. They are from up here. They just happened to be down there when he got hurt. They transferred him from a hospital in Kentucky to one in Nashville. That is how he ended up in Nashville. So praying surgery goes well.
__________________
DX: BPD, Bipolar NOS, GAD, and ADHD RX: Trintellix, Lamictal, Rexulti and Buspar |
 Anonymous45023, Daonnachd, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
|
#402
Apr 11, 2018, 11:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
  (((((( jmariah and family )))))) With Love and Prayers,  WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
|
 jacky8807
|
|
#403
Apr 12, 2018, 12:23 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
blah. still depressed.
Today my mother told me I didn't have to walk around actually "looking bipolar" so there was that.
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, Nammu, Pookyl, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
|
#404
Apr 12, 2018, 02:51 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Content, settled but just a hint of boredom starting to creep in. That hint is never a good thing.
__________________
Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
| Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
|
#405
Apr 12, 2018, 05:03 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hypo...concerned...
I DON'T WANT TONIGHT TO END        back to reality tomorrow morning |
| Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
|
#406
Apr 12, 2018, 11:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 Sorry you mother said that to you. Sorry you are still depressed.  WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
|
| jacky8807
|
|
#407
Apr 12, 2018, 12:12 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have been purchasing clothes off of EBay. I have been getting expensive shirts and sport coats at a fraction of their retail price. Nice. I think this mentality I am having akin to a child in a candy shop is not good. I now have many more sport coats than I need. So other than a couple more shirts, I am done.
I want to visit someone right now. However, my experiences with my next door neighbor have been very unpleasant from time to time due to her invalidating behavior. It gets worse the more regularly I visit her. Her son treated me very poorly in the recent past. My step son interceded and the two almost got into a fist fight. My neighbors son backed down and left. He has been treating me with an unusual degree of respect now. My daughter ended up preagnant by accident with what I consider a scum ball of a boyfriend. I have been very distressed about this. However, she is an adult now. All I can do is watch and be there for her. This is making me feel helpless. Lately I have felt lonely and depressed. My recent exersize has been helping with my depression and clarity of thought. So I need to continue to exersize. Besides, I will end up in better physical shape. |
| Anonymous45023, jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#408
Apr 12, 2018, 01:20 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I want to write in my blog, but then I feel guilty that I should be writing my novel for this months challenge. Well, if the drive to blog was strong enough, guess I would, but I'm oddly feeling a lack of things to write about.
The end. Ha! Oops! Forgot to say that the novel is going, slowly but going. 
__________________
Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
| jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#409
Apr 12, 2018, 01:56 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I had an upper endoscopy today, so I’m still feeling a little loopy from that and thirsty (nothing to eat or drink after midnight until the procedure). Afterwards, the gastroenterologist told my mom (my designated driver) everything looks good; I don’t have any more ulcers (had to have emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer in February). He took a couple biopsies too, but I won’t know about those until my appt with him in May. I am glad to have it over with; I didn’t sleep well last night because of nerves.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous45390, BeyondtheRainbow, jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#410
Apr 12, 2018, 02:24 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Couldn't fall asleep until after midnight. Overheated and mind kept spinning.
I feel like such a dork after the poetry reading this afternoon. Who the hell did I think I was? As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was cringing. I feel terrible and want to hide. My voice sounded like one of those girly anime characters. Just squeaky and immature--and I'm in my fifties! And my poems SUCKED. I don't know if I want to come on campus anymore. I'm so embarrassed. Can't even do online classes because I gave out my name like an idiot. Kids are going out to dinner with daughter's boyfriend's family, so I can eat leftover fried chicken and dwell in shame in the bedroom closet. My mood is sponsored by the letters W-T-F. |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, jacky8807, Nammu, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#411
Apr 12, 2018, 02:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If I feel any happier, I'll burst like a firecracker.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| emgreen, Nammu, Wild Coyote
|
|
#412
Apr 12, 2018, 04:15 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'm going to the gym tomorrow to get a membership (it's free because I live in their apartment complex). I already have tons and tons of gym clothes and I'm tired of being a lazy do-nothing, so I might as well just hit the gym.
 Otherwise, doing "meh"... Not so great. I am FINALLY going to see my new pdoc in 6 days, though, so maybe I'll feel better knowing that I finally have someone to reach out to if my meds are all ****ed up again. Healthcare is one big scam. It's never about the patients' health. Drs and insurance companies just want their $$$. So anyone who has psych problems, it doesn't matter if you need to see your pdoc sooner. "Not my problem" is the dr's belief. Same with insurance companies. "Not my problem." |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, jacky8807, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#413
Apr 12, 2018, 06:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I didn’t end up going to sleep until 2:30am. Roughly four hours of sleep. I finished my resume and even applied to some jobs although I don’t expect to hear back. Not even sure if I filled out the applications right. I don’t think my objective on my resume is very good. I need more work on that. Anyway because of the four hours of sleep I was exhausted today and literally falling asleep in class!!! My co teacher even called me out on it. I was sooooo ****ing embarrassed!!! I’m still mortified and it’s heen hours. I feel so bad. I didn’t get asked back to my usual summer job and I guarantee it’s because I kept falling asleep last year (from latuda). I just get like that and I can’t help it sometimes and I don’t know what to do to to avoid it! It’s soooooo embarrassing and unprofessional! Ugh!
I’m hoping to apply to more jobs tonight. My SIL said she might be able to get me in to the county prosecutor’s office with her but I don’t know. She was drunk when she said that lol. That would be a nice job because it’s a state job. Lots of personal days and vacation time and paid days off. I need personal days for my illness and in case my son is sick. He rarely gets so sick he has to stay home but you never know. The hours would be good too. Pay, not so much, but nothing I could get would be good that’s not teaching. Not until I get some experience as an admin assistant. I’m just obsessing over how to afford my own place. It’s imperative. I’ve scheduled my son for allergy testing on April 30th so we will find out exactly what he’s allergic to. If it’s dust mites and/or mold, we’ve got to get out of here. If it’s just pollen it’s not as urgent but I need to be on my own. It’s worth being poor. I don’t care. I have my grandmother to help me buy necessary things for Chris so he will never want for anything like clothing and shoes and food. I will have to step up and make 95% of our meals at home, which will be better for us anyway. Just more stress on me. I’m questioning whether I can handle it. I think I can. I really think and hope that the addition of the lamictal and birth control (when I start it - my appointment isn’t until April 24) will help stabilize me and make this possible.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, jacky8807, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#414
Apr 12, 2018, 06:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
((((((Fharraige )))))) Big hugs! WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
|
| Unrigged64072835
|
| Unrigged64072835
|
|
#415
Apr 12, 2018, 07:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Just checking in!
I have been quite busy this week. Semi-productive. It was a gray, rainy day here today; yet, was out at the Fish and Game Club all afternoon. Members were volunteering for Spring clean-up. Went to dinner afterward. Love to all. WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
|
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, jacky8807, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
|
| bizi, jacky8807, Nammu
|
|
#416
Apr 12, 2018, 08:10 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Agitation is gone after being hospitalized. First few days were rough. Still haven't slept in 2 mths.
__________________
Forget the night...come live with us in forests of azure - Jim Morrison |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
|
|
#417
Apr 12, 2018, 08:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I saw the Pdoc today and it went ok. He upped one of my meds to help with my night time anxiety. Other than that I was relieved to check that one off the list. I like my pdoc but I hate going to the doctor any kind of doctor. It makes me so nervous!
__________________
|
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, giddykitty, jacky8807, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#418
Apr 12, 2018, 08:50 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
^Omg it makes me nervous too!!
------------ I posted on my blog today. It's probably nearly as incomprehensible as the matter I was talking about. No, no! I think I fixed it with some pics, but damn! I'm really stretching thin and feeling stupid or insecure, especially with writing. Odd thing is, I feel so confident in it or with the process, but then I reread and I'm like whaaaat??? It's the piecing of stuff, not necessarily the train of thought. But I've gotta piece because I leave a lot of stuff out. Anyway... I wasn't going to post again, but I wanted to make this disclaimer. Suppose I could have edited my blog post. See? I'm not thinking of these things quick enough! I dunno. Guess I need to slow down. I would have stepped outside, but it was still a bit cool and windy, but I hung out in the front porch room for awhile. Nice! Goodnight!
__________________
Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
| Unrigged64072835, VerMOZZica, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
| VerMOZZica, Wild Coyote
|
|
#419
Apr 12, 2018, 09:04 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
HOW? 
|
| jacky8807, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#420
Apr 12, 2018, 11:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Had appt with allergy specialist today. I was tested for allergies and started on meds. The good news is Medicare actually covered my medicine. I was really happy. I was so stressed out about this because I had to pay a lot out of pocket for testing. I’m going to have to skip therapy for a while.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, jacky8807, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, VerMOZZica, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#421
Apr 12, 2018, 11:45 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Apparently its not a good look (when depressed) wasn't that a sweet thing for her to say? It suuuure helped me feel less depressed Thx W.C.
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#422
Apr 13, 2018, 06:40 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
4 weeks + 1 day
I lost 1.2 pounds this week! And i didn't even do that well! I'm 220.6. I could smash the 220 pound milestone next week! I'm losing just under a pound a week: 0.9 pounds. That's almost twice my minimum goal of 0.5 pounds a week! YAY!!! Hugs, Jane. |
| BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Guiness187055, Nammu, RainyDay107, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
| Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
|
|
#423
Apr 13, 2018, 08:15 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am flying hiiiigh on top of the world today!!! I know it’s weather related. It’s supposed to be so nice here today! Sunny and 80, today and tomorrow! YES! It will be great. I’m sure on Sunday I’ll crash back down because it’s gonna rain and go back down into the forties.
I’m still fighting the impulsive decision to go see this apartment. It’s so irresponsible of me to do it knowing I won’t have a job. But if I get fired I will get unemployment so it’s a possibility. I will at least have some income. Plus the money from the state. I just want to DO IT and see what happens. You know? Just jump in and tread water. Except I’ve never been good at treading water lol. I think I’m gonna go look at it at least. It can’t hurt to look. I’ve been applying to jobs left and right. I hope at least one calls me back. We will see. I love this feeling! I hope it continues through tomorrow! I have a lot to get done.
__________________
Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#424
Apr 13, 2018, 10:03 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Remember one pound equals 4 sticks of butter! bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous41462, Wild Coyote
|
| Wild Coyote
|
|
#425
Apr 13, 2018, 10:15 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Nice job! WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
|
| Anonymous41462
|
| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
