[Wild Coyote]

Feeling overwhelmed. Too much going on around the holiday. Cannot skip out because it is planned for my home -- by my mother. (She lives with us and decided to have an additional Easter with her friends, to be hosted here. She cannot do the work associated with the event, which means I am putting on 2 Easter dinners -- one Saturday and one Sunday? When I tell her I am too tired and in too much pain, she assures me she will do it all; she cannot do it anymore.) I'd love to be able to do it all, but cannot.

We are still hammering this out. She has already invited guests.
Overwhelmed.


WC

[Tucson]

I am losing weight again. This is not good at all. I am getting a little paranoid here. Maybe there is some kind of tape worm within my body? Probably not. I am going to do some exersize today to help get myself in shape. I will accordingly eat more food. I have to remember to do my taxes. I want to get to this today. I will owe taxes this year. I hope it is not going to be too much for me. My daughter did not stop by to have me to take her to school in my car. Someone else must have driven her. I hope she is OK.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I feel like things are crumbling and I'm getting depressed. It started 1-2 weeks ago and I was really trying to ignore it. Therapy made that impossible and we have more to go in the path we started this week. I just want to sleep but am jittery still from anesthesia for a dental crown this afternoon. (Yay, $550 surprise.........)

I have been getting dental work done. It's very expensive!
The anesthesia made me jittery and very unsettled.

I hope you feel better soon!

WC

[scatterbrained04]

I'm feeling very overwhelmed today. I think it's because I have a bunch to do and no motivation to do any of it. I'm also a bit tired from the decreased sleep I've had the last couple weeks. Will likely be up late tonight and will have to do shopping early tomorrow morning.

[Unrigged64072835]

Still not sleeping well. Had two nightmares back to back. Made it hard to fall back asleep. Pnurse says I need a Lunesta "vacation", but not at the expense of losing sleep for days on end. I'll have to get melatonin OTC if I want to use it (I don't really want to).

I worked out and took a shower this morning. May play with music later on, plus swap out the wreath and garden flag. Should make it spring-ish even though it's still rainy. And what's this about having snow next week??? I sure hope it changes. It's sunny for a little bit, anyway.

I'm starting to get over the grumpiness, thank goodness.

[Blueberrybook]

I’m OK, I guess. I got 9 hours of sleep last night.

I got up, showered, did daily chores.

I finally finished the library book I was reading.

Then, my fibromyalgia really started bothering me so I took a some meds from the rheumatologist and laid down. I napped 2 hours, one of my cats between my feet. She’s not normally so snuggly, except for sleeping on the bed between my feet. I love when she does that.

It a low-key sort of day. I might go back to reading another book before it’s time to cook dinner.

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I have to go see a spine specialist for my back. Not happy about that. I really don’t like doctors. But it is what it is, I want this pain to get down to at least a tolerable level. I don’t expect to be pain free but if it’s lessened without me having to take Advil all the time I will feel better.

I’ve been PMSing for daaaaays and it sucks. I just want it to be over. I’m gonna get on birth control in the next month to hopefully lessen the effects of PMS also. That might be why my back pain is so severe right now too. Ugh.

Moodwise I'm good today, pretty happy but not too happy. I’m a little restless but that’s just because I’ve already had a couple days off and I get so bored just sitting around. When I’m depressed I just sleep all day but when I’m not I can’t figure out what to do. I’d like to go to the gym, hoping my mom will watch my son later so I can go. It’s not a nice day to be outside. Warm enough but rainy. I would work in my garden if it weren’t so rainy.

Supposed to be nice tomorrow, if my back holds up and it’s not too muddy I’ll start raking out leaves and stuff from the garden. Yay!

omg, I think we're syncing up! lol I came on here because I'm pretty bummed. I marked my mood as "sleepy" though because I don't want the self fullfilling prophesey that I'm getting depressed again, but I've been very "bum" today and negative...actually it started yesterday and it's definitely PMS. Oh right, I don't want to publicize that either. (you know what I mean) guess it probably doesn't really matter though because I generally stick to these these threads and I think y'all are understanding.

-----------------------------------------------

Anyhoo. Yeah, the therapy??? It went alright. I mean, to be honest, I've already like fallen in love with her. (is this a borderline thing??) I mean, I'm a little skeptic though because I'm not sure how my husband will like her, but I mean, she has credentials I can point out...maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe I'm just anxious. Well, yeah, I am highly anxious. It's like if something good happens, it's bound to end up badly, right?? That's just my irrational thinking, but it does end up that way a lot of times. I'm really stuck right now. I've gotta make some decisions and I ...well, the question is, is it my moods making me feel two different ways or is it something else. I kinda wish it were my moods, but I worry it's something else. Supposing my moods could make things worse though. *sigh* Rough last couple of days! Actually, it's an ongoing issue. Oddly, it comes up most periods (so nearly 12 times a year!). I guess I'm afraid! Afraid of being alone when I really need someone there...but I'm probably not,...or am I? eh! Well, that's why I came here. Just to not feel so alone. Thanks for reading.

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I’m OK, I guess. I got 9 hours of sleep last night.

I got up, showered, did daily chores.

I finally finished the library book I was reading.

Then, my fibromyalgia really started bothering me so I took a some meds from the rheumatologist and laid down. I napped 2 hours, one of my cats between my feet. She’s not normally so snuggly, except for sleeping on the bed between my feet. I love when she does that.

It a low-key sort of day. I might go back to reading another book before it’s time to cook dinner.

I think it's customary to comment on the last post, so here I am. I know what you mean about sleep and being "Ok I guess". Well, I got about 9 hours last night too. Still broken but better than a broken 4-6 hours. I might go visit my parents' cats here in a minute. I'm kinda spacey and going on about myself. Just trying to make a connection maybe. Hope you have a better than ok evening and weekend!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I have the day off too. Have fun at the Crawfish boil and fish fry. Never had that before.

Are you sleepy after only 5 hours?

I went back to sleep after taking my night meds at 1am then slept until 9am or so. So last nights 4-hour sleep was a long nap before bed.
sigh
what to do...
the fish fry went well. I did not have any crawfish, just did not feel they were cleaned very well. My friend had some and she said they were good, not seasoned very well though. It was nice getting to meet some of the family both their sons were there with the kids.Even after knowing melissa a year I still can't keep their names.
oh well, it was nice to get away to the country.
I work tomorrow see 4 clients.
It is good friday so I wonder if I should find some church to go to by myself.
bizi

I've completed two weeks of dieting so i weighed in today and was disappointed but not really surprised to have gained 0.2 pounds. It's a bummer but i was naughty for two days this week so there you go. I got back at it today and it went well.

I've been waking up hours early all this week plus one sleepless night and it caught up to me today and i was very tired. No flickers of hypomania today at all. Sigh!

Hugs,

Jane.

[cool09]

Not a bad day as agitation goes. Insomnia last night as always. Irritability spills over onto my emails, not good. Don't know where to go for med adjustment, I guess the ER.

[wildflowerchild25]

My appetite was actually fairly normal today. Not too low and not raging. That’s good. I ate a normal amount. I hope I can do that tomorrow.

My mood was just bored and restless. Nv was busy for most of the day so I didn’t have anyone to talk to. He might be coming over tomorrow but I’m not sure as he works until 8:30. If not I will be super bored as my son is going to a sleepover (his first ever!). I rented a movie to watch but I’ll have to watch it on my phone as I can’t sit up for too long without my back killing me. I always drink alcohol when bored which is practically every ****ing weekend for the last two years. I need to stop.

I hope to be able to deep clean my car tomorrow as well as maybe work in the garden and take my son to the park. I wanted to go to the gym after I drop him off at my friends house but I think they close early for Easter. But I can swing by and see. I have to play Easter bunny too, I completely forgot. I hope there is Easter stuff left for a basket!!!

I am completely missing hypomania. Everything felt so magical and now it just feels blah. I was so inspired. I was so swept away. I was so happy and energetic. Now nothing but boredom. I haven’t had such a long sustained hypomania that DIDNT turn mixed maybe ever. It was amazing.

Sigh. I’ll get used to normal life again.

[giddykitty]

And what do you know?! I slept well last night and now I'm up again! Actually, I slept till about 3 and felt awake and so when I went back to sleep, it was wild dreaming (like dancing around until I lose my breath, then again, and playing wild risky games and scary stupid **** like that.) It was only a dream, but now I'm up. Awake and "excited"?? (Excitable??) Hard to fin the right mood adjective in that bunch.

[Wander]

Cruising along very well since Thursday. Weird because before that I was a danger to myself and almost got involuntarily sectioned Tuesday night. Long story that I don't want to rehash again. Safe to say two senior nurses and me made formal complaints against my pdoc. It's a pit because we got along well and I trusted him. Still, in my hypomanic state (so says my T and nurses - I am voluntarily IP now) so none of this is bothering me.

I the last two days my parents have taken me to the beach for a swim as Im allowed escorted leave. It is so wonderful in my joyfulmmod. I have trouble typing and keeping up with my mind so forgive me for the typos. All I want to say is mild hypomania rocks. I hardly sleep but have music, net and books to pass the time, although concentration is an issue.

Anyone switch like this? Life is colourful and wonderful.

[scatterbrained04]

Woke up early again. Like clock work these days. Got my grocery shopping and Easter shopping done bright and early this morning. It was easy since I'd been up so early lol. Bought myself a new set of sheets. I've only had one set this whole last year. Also ran by the pharmacy. Now it's 10:30am and all my running is done. Have chores to do, but the errands were what were what were stressing me out, as they were the only thing I absolutely had to do today.

I must say, my moods have been a lot better overall the last week since raising my mood stabilizer. Not perfect, but better. Hoping it will last. Now if only I can get back to sleeping normal.

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter quit her job last night--her first day, practically. She was being yelled at by a coworker because she asked for help with the register. Coworker kept yelling at her the entire time in front of customers. Daughter went to the managers only to be told to ignore the coworker because apparently she can sell store credit cards. My daughter took a big cut in pay to work at this store, and she's not going to put up with constant verbal harassment for minimum wage. Thankfully she has another job offer with better pay so she'll go do that. Took a while to wind down after that. She's been with her friends for the most part so she'll be okay. Hope she can deal with the yelling in therapy though, as it seems to be a PTSD trigger.

Today has been much calmer. Sleep is starting to get better. Did a little retail therapy this morning and ordered my dress for our anniversary dinner in May. Been quiet otherwise. Was going to do a walk at a park but the wind picked up and it was really chilly.

Hugs to all that want them.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am in a foul *** mood today. Soooooo irritable. I know it’s PMS. It has to be. I’m also very slightly depressed but that’s just from the comedown from hypomania. I’m hoping the increase in rexulti will stave off full blown depression. And I’m hoping I get my freaking period soon!!! Today is day 28, any ****ing day now would be nice!!! My period always just shows up when it feels like it like SURPRISE HAHA YOU THOUGHT!!! It’s ********. Even more reason to go back on birth control.

I’m debating whether I should try to work in my garden. I’m desperate to be out in the sun but I’m afraid I will further aggravate my back. I have a chair I could just sit in outside but again, aggravation. I feel best laying flat.

NV IS coming over tonight so that will be nice. I don’t know him well enough to be comfortable being a ****** to him yet lol so I won’t be. Plus I don’t think he will piss me off but I’m not sure as it seems everyone with a pulse is making me mad today. I was yelling at this couple in my head today for taking up the whole damn bench at the park. I had to sit on a rock and could barely get up. But I’m way too passive to have asked them to move the **** over so other people could sit. Plus she was feeding her baby and I didn’t want to interrupt. I was hot though.

Uuuugh so much physical pain and mental pissiness. Be over already!!!

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Wander

Cruising along very well since Thursday. Weird because before that I was a danger to myself and almost got involuntarily sectioned Tuesday night. Long story that I don't want to rehash again. Safe to say two senior nurses and me made formal complaints against my pdoc. It's a pit because we got along well and I trusted him. Still, in my hypomanic state (so says my T and nurses - I am voluntarily IP now) so none of this is bothering me.

I the last two days my parents have taken me to the beach for a swim as Im allowed escorted leave. It is so wonderful in my joyfulmmod. I have trouble typing and keeping up with my mind so forgive me for the typos. All I want to say is mild hypomania rocks. I hardly sleep but have music, net and books to pass the time, although concentration is an issue.

Anyone switch like this? Life is colourful and wonderful.

I switch like a light switch. High as hell on day, wake up suicidal the next. It’s tiring and bothersome. I’m glad you’re on the higher side now but I hope you even out soon.

[Wild Coyote]

Stressed. Family and holiday stuff.
The holiday will be over soon.
Love to All!

WC

[leomama]

Yeah I hate lent and Holy Week too. The increased amount of church services.
I’ve decreased my lamictal to 150mg yesterday and I’m tired. Ironic that going down in my dosage would make me tired. It’s tempting to give up but Im committed to seeing this trough . I am having pms as well. Honestly i hate this .

I had a tough night getting up with my dog three times. I was in a foul mood this morning but my day's improved. I ate well today. Proper dinners at home are a real joy! Hugs, Jane.

[Cocosurviving]

I woke up early to complete a spring cleaning project. Later me and my daughter visited my disabled aunt. She was doing ok. Then we ran errands with my mom and dad. I bought my daughter two shirts she was happy. Next week are schools are all closed because the teachers are on strike. I do not blame them...ten years and no raise. The state of Oklahoma sucks.

[Paka4651]

So first I’ll let you know I was not fully diagnosed bipolar but I have talked 6 therapists from the va over 8 months or so and multiple of them said bipolar and it’s in my charts that I’m bipolar but not a full diagnosed. I ve been put on cymbalta for nerve pain which sent me into a state of psycho hyper speed more than I have ever felt before. So they cut the dose from 60 to 30 and added Zoloft (50mg) which they said would help my moodas well and set my next appt out 2 months almost. This mix doesn’t do crap so I requested to go the cymbalta 60 mg (over the phone) until I would see the therapist again. I know i said it made super hyper but most of the time I felt better. Lately I have been getting sweats and more depressed and irritable. Also I tried (which was dumb) to use alcohol to level me out and ended up on a crisis hotline. Anyone else go through anything like this.

[Blueberrybook]

We had an Easter celebration with my parents & sister and extended family. My daughter had fun playing with her cousins, and they all enjoyed the egg hunt my mom arranged. The weather was nice out today, not too hot, but it was a 1.5 drive each way.

I am sore tonight along my surgery stomach incision, maybe I overdid it with the day, or maybe it was the walk I took this morning, which wasn't so great because I had a panic attack during the walk. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular or listening to a song that brought it on; it just came out of the blue.

On a positive note, I finally got to eat out again since having surgery on Feb. 14. Granted, it had to be the super healthy egg-white omelet with fruit on the side, but it's a nice changed from soup, which has been my food staple lately.

I think the hypomania is getting more under control. I think I still have it a bit, but not so bad, am sleeping about 6 hr. a night.

[Under*Over]

I had a really bad night last night so I am really hoping tonight will be better.

I guess the good side of this is... it would hard for it to be WORSE.

But I shouldnt say that- thats like asking for it pretty much