how do you find a therapist you "click" with?

I have had this problem since day 1 when I first started getting treatment for an eating disorder with a mis-diagnosis of major depression, which was much later changed to BPD when I showed up at a pdoc appt. so severely manic, my pdoc wanted to hospitalize me on the spot.

I have seen so many therapists throughout the years. I'm 40 years old, and I first entered the mental health system when I was 19 or 20 years old. I must have had at least 10 therapists, if not more, over the years. Yes, some were better than others, but I never once found one I "clicked" with. On top of that, my insurance sucks. I'm talking about a $7500 deductible I have to meet before insurance co-pay rates will click in, and even then, the co-pays are high too. I know some therapists work on a sliding scale, but I don't know how to find one, let alone how to find a good one I feel clicks with me. Our finances are very tight. My husband is a high school teacher, and they don't pay teachers much. Also, we have a mortgage, my visits to a pdoc, medication costs, a recent $2500 air conditioning bill, and bills yet to come from an emergency ambulance ride, surgery, and a 6 day hospitalization. My husband's salary is measly, but it is such that we do not meet any state or national guidelines for financial help to pay medical & mental health costs.

I think I really, really need a therapist after my recent medical emergency, but I don't know how to afford it or how to find one I like.

Contact NAMI. They should be able to help you find low cost, or no cost help. Even some state run therapy centers take people on s sliding pay scale. It's not perfect but it's what we have to do sometimes. WWW.NAMI.ORG I hope this helps

I don't know how to find a good one. Maybe online reviews? Or ask your PDOC for a referral? My last 3 out of 4 therapists were terrible. The last one knew what she was doing but liked to inflict pain on me.

cincidak offers a great suggestion in contacting NAMI. I very briefly volunteered for their Help Line, and know they have information on lower cost options. A local office should have the options available in your local area. In my local area options included ones through the YMCA, Catholic Charities, Jewish Mental Health Services, and a Trinity Counseling Service (through an Episcopal church). The religious sponsored counseling services did not limit their services based on religion.

I have found that some mental healthcare service groups, where numerous therapists and sometimes one or more psychiatrists practice, offer lower rates than private providers. Some require you see both a psychiatrist and therapist from the group, others do not. I'm seeing a psychologist (therapist) in a group like that. She allows me to see my private psychiatrist.

I went through about 9 therapists before I found one I really benefited from. Some I only saw one to a few times because I knew they weren't a good match. A couple I saw for much longer. I recently had to switch therapists because my last one of 4.5 years closed her practice. She was the best one up until that time. I felt discouraged because I thought I'd have to start to frustrating search all over again. But oh my, I am sure I found the best match so far in my newest therapist. She's great! I look forward to seeing her so much! I feel confident that she's going to help me get off of disability someday in the near future.

www.psychologytoday.com is where I found my newest therapist. They usually list the insurance they accept and/or mention if they charge on a sliding scale. You can sort through the listings according to their specialties, and reading their introductions can be very helpful in getting an idea if you might click. I also felt my now current therapist's picture showed a compassionate woman. I could just see it in her picture. It's also easier to know how old they are, if that's helpful. I remember seeing a photo of what looked like an obnoxious looking guy therapist on his cell phone. I immediately had a bad feeling about him, so I eliminated him from my options. I just HATE when therapists look at text messages or take calls during my sessions. That's a big red X mark in my book.

I tried referrals from my pdoc, but they were not taking new patients. I tried a group therapist I know from grief support that went out on his own, same thing—full.

I’m just trying on my own now. Here is a YouTube video that explains qualifications and what they mean.

I clicked with my new therapist. I share with her mostly freely. Some of my ashamed past is difficult to verbalize. She has a great memory which is truly a blessing. And she can follow my story telling. The past is really peppered and difficult to summarize. I found a 12 year old diary and read it to her.
This past session was about shame and vulnerability. I brought up the topics.
I did not want to focus on addictions like we have been.
bizi
good luck finding one you click with, and this may take trial and error and money finding one unfortunately.

I found my current therapist through Psychology Today as well. However, the person on the site may not be the person you get. They may be running an office with other therapists. That's what happened to me.

Oh, yes—psychology today site is so good!! That’s how I found the qualifications of the therapist I’m going to try next. I don’t understand the company she is working for. They were more interested in making the webpage look good than listing the therapy approaches (I want CBT, DBT, and EMDR). Psychology today listed them out.

Many therapists will answer questions before any first meeting. Or in the case of my current therapist, an office manager did, and she did a good job. I was very clear that I only wanted a particular therapist.

One should be able to "interview" the therapist before committing to any session. Or at least the first session should be that type of "interview". It actually goes both ways. I had other therapists that I talked with on the phone that I would have contacted again if my current new therapist didn't work out. I do realize that I am fortunate that my city (and surrounding areas) have a large number of therapist options, while other peoples' don't.

How do you find a therapist you "click" with?

It's either pure luck or some kind of universal intervention over which we have little or no control.

I believe that your finances are tight, but if you own a house you're better off than most people.