[WorkhorseDVM]

Been out of the hospital for the second time just a little over a week. In an outpatient program now. Meds changes, etc. Had a very ugly plan, cut myself, etc. PDoc personally walked me to Emergency. Mood is all over the place. My heart hurts ;( a lot. Spouse upset with me, mom doesn’t get it “if you lost weight and just tried harder it would be fine”. Still not dealing with my PDoc leaving very well, even though new PDoc will be fine.
Just manic and blue all at the same time. 0 to 10 and back in nanoseconds.

I'm sorry that your loved ones don't understand. Try to forgive them, if you can.

I was hospitalized several times in the past, and returned directly from IOP at least a couple times. They don't keep you as long as they should sometimes, though I know we often want out of there.

I hope you can block out others and concentrate well on your wellness. Sometimes we just have to be our best support, if that makes any sense. Many of us here truly do understand. Wishing you wellness!

[*Laurie*]

I'm very sorry your family is being ignorant and thoughtless. If you had, say, cancer would they treat you that way? Of course not!

[WorkhorseDVM]

The therapists at outpatient, my T, and my PDoc keep telling me I have to take care of me first. I feel like I have hurt my family enough but trying to balance not hurting them any further and taking care of me is exhausting and depressing. My PDoc wants my mood ideally 4 - 6 / 10 but will take 3 - 7. I just want to stop being either 1 OR 10!

[Colour of Madness]

Originally Posted by WorkhorseDVM

Been out of the hospital for the second time just a little over a week. In an outpatient program now. Meds changes, etc. Had a very ugly plan, cut myself, etc. PDoc personally walked me to Emergency. Mood is all over the place. My heart hurts ;( a lot. Spouse upset with me, mom doesn’t get it “if you lost weight and just tried harder it would be fine”. Still not dealing with my PDoc leaving very well, even though new PDoc will be fine.
Just manic and blue all at the same time. 0 to 10 and back in nanoseconds.

Hi, sorry you are going through that at the moment, rapid cycling mixed episodes are the worst, at least if you are stuck at one of the poles for a length of time things are a bit more predictable. I hate being mixed and going from euphoria to suicidal in 10 seconds flat, it's exhausting. ((hugs))