[Pookyl]

Help. I am seeing a (new) therapist next Monday. My pdoc recommended her and she is walking distance from my place. It’s the first time I will be seeing one since end 2016. What do I ask her to determine if we’re going to be a good fit?

Background:
I have seen two therapists before.
The first I saw when I was first diagnosed with bipolar. I was predominantly manic and a real handful. She didn’t believe in labels and never acknowledged that I had bipolar. So I spent the year in denial that I had bipolar and arguing with my pdoc that I was a qualified health professional and her diagnosis was wrong etc.
The second I saw was nice but too soft for me. I’m a stubborn opinionated person and I was stronger than her. She acted like I was there for her to lean on. I hate it when a psychologist wants to tell you about everything wrong in their week - I feel like saying I’m not paying you to tell me your problems and besides if you want advice from someone acutely unwell I’m not sure about your judgement.

Anyhow, I know I need to see someone. I’m still grieving the loss of my career, my social anxiety is bad and it’s getting worse. I can’t seem to manage my stress, I’m abnormally flippant about death and I need a therapist who can do something called Radical Acceptance Therapy (mentioned last time I was ip for suicidality).

[SorryShaped]

Maybe you could read this post to your new therapist. I think you have a good starting place here.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Maybe you could read this post to your new therapist. I think you have a good starting place here.

Thanks for that idea. It didn’t even occur to me.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Thanks for that idea. It didn’t even occur to me.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. Sometimes, especially for me, the simplest answer is also the most obvious.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. Sometimes, especially for me, the simplest answer is also the most obvious.

Nope. No sarcasm here. I honestly hadn’t thought about it. I’m someone who also bypasses the simplest answer.

I'm going through the same thing, but in my case, I've got a huge time simply trusting him. I know how bad this chain of thought can be, based on my past.

Nothing helpful, but you've got my support.

I asked a similar question in the psychotherapy forum. People give all different answers.

Some will let you meet with them for free to discuss what you want.

I agree with you—I really don’t want any personal information about my T. None!!

[*Laurie*]

Can you go on your feeling about the new t, your intuition during the first session?

[Shazerac]

I think reading this post to your therapist is a great idea. IMHO it is better to put yourself out there at the beginning and see if you click with a new T instead of beating around the bush for many expensive months before finding out it’s not a good match.

[Blueberrybook]

I am going through the same thing, starting with a new therapist next week. Only I must have tried at least 10 therapists in the past and never clicked with one. I am a bit jaded when it comes to therapy, but I have so man6 issues right now, I really just have to bite the bullet and try another tdoc. Maybe I will get lucky.

[Unrigged64072835]

I would also ask what types of therapy they will provide, per your situation.

[Pookyl]

Thanks for all your advice. The first session went well I think. We’re going to take it one session at a time, which works for me.

[annielovesbacon]

I'm glad your first session went well! I relate to what you said in your first post, I also need a therapist who will push back at me when I am being avoidant, I don't come to therapy just to talk about my week. I told my therapist this in our second or third session I think, and she completely understood and that is how we have conducted therapy ever since. I'm glad I told her that up front.

[Shazerac]

Glad to hear that things went well. When I’m working with a new therapist or Pdoc, the first few sessions I’m evaluating them as much as they are evaluative me. If I don’t like their take on my issues..well..ding ding ding..open the trap door and down they go. Next!