[LacunaCoiler]

Hey all,

So I had a pdoc appt yesterday morning. This is the 3rd time I have seen him and my wife has decided she doesn't like him or the way he's treating my mixed episode. She doesn't like that he took me off the risperdone that works about 90% of the time and switched me over to Latuda even though I and my wife argued against it. Being desperate to get out of depression then this mixed episode I agreed (he basically told me to take it or he's not going to refill my risperdone). I figure worse comes to worse, it doesn't work and I go back to the risperdone (Fingers crossed).

Well, yesterday when we talked and I told him I didn't feel any different and that I'm still really mixed and my anger is just out of control and causing trouble at work and with my wife, he decided to up the Latuda... again, the wife didn't agree.

After the appt my wife was pissed and didn't talk to me the whole drive home. When we did talk she said she didn't want to hear anything or have anything to do with my bipolar. She didn't want to go to my pdoc appts, she didn't want to watch me to take my meds like she usually does (I have a habit of not taking them when I feel better), she doesn't want me to tell her how I feel, basically doesn't want anything to do with it.

She has been a vital part of my "team" and she's the first one to notice and report to my pdoc about issues that arise. I feel like I not only lost someone from my support team, but lost the love and support of my wife. She basically wants to wipe her hands clean and tell me to deal with my own *****. I feel like she just doesn't care anymore.

I dunno what to do because right now is the time I need her the most since I'm not stable at the moment. I feel alone and unloved. And in the heat of the moment I told her I didn't need her help and that I didn't care if she helped/cared anymore. But I haven't stopped thinking about this since it happened.

I guess I just need to deal with ***** on my own from this point on. I feel like I don't have anyone I can talk to now that she's not there to listen to me and atm I can't afford a therapist. It all just makes me depressed and angry.

[Nammu]

Sorry to hear that. Haven't any words of wisdom but wanted you to know I'm listening.

[Wild Coyote]

This sounds like words shared in the heat of the moment... with each of you.

Is it possible to have another talk when things are not so heated?

I am guessing your wife's reaction is based upon her concern for you (her frustration with the doctor, that is). It's very frustrating to feel like a spouse's pdoc is not listening. ( I've been there.)

I am hoping you can talk with one another and heal the wound(s).
It's worth a try. Speak from your heart when talking with her.


WC

[rwwff]

That is pretty rough, hopefully your pdoc knows what he's up to and you get some relief one way or another. How long have you been on the higher dose of latuda, maybe it just needs some more time to become effective...

[Pookyl]

Perhaps your wife is still grieving your diagnosis. I know my hubby does. He misses the person I was.
Grief makes people say and do things they don’t always mean. Once you’ve both had a chance to cool down why not talk it out?

Wild Coyote pretty well covered what I thought about it too, but I did want to also pop in to share my sympathies, LC. I really feel for you. That is a rough place. Hopefully there can be healing...

Remember too that we are here. You are not alone.

[Blueberrybook]

I am so sorry to hear that. It is rough when your spouse doesn’t support you, especially if they have been a critical part of your support team. My husband doesn’t like that I’m on psych meds, see a psychiatrist regularly, and will be starting up with a therapist. It would be SO nice if he would be a part of my care team, but he doesn’t want to talk much about my bipolar or feelings. He thinks psych meds messed up my brain, and they are the reason I can’t work. To be fair, I was misdiagnosed with depression for over 10 years, and I do feel all that time on AD’s messed up my thinking, and I will never be the person I was before I started them. My pdoc diagnosed me as bipolar when I showed up super manic at a psych appointment and narrowly avoided hospitalization. That was the only appointment my husband came with me to, and the pdoc explained to him more about bipolar. He still doesn’t think I need meds when I am doing OK or just hypomanic. When I’m depressed and have panic attacks, he tells me to just snap out of it. He does admit I have been doing better since on meds for bipolar, but I don’t go to him for support. He has finally admitted my pdoc was right, and I cannot work outside the home, beyond caring for our 10 year old daughter who has tons of sensory issues. I love him, but he just doesn’t understand. Usually, I talk to my mom or sister for support, and I have recently made a friend who has issues with depression and panic disorder; she knows where I am coming from.

I really wish I had my husband’s support, but I don’t. I just have to look elsewhere for it.