[Shazerac]

Why is it so much harder to take advice than to give it. Even when it’s your own advice

I read people’s posts about how they shouldn’t be feeling so bad because others are worse off than them. My heart breaks and I think “oh sweetie, don’t do that yourself. Your pain is real to you.” It’s a trap because there is always someone somewhere who has it worse.

then I turn around and do the same damned thing to myself. I had a total melt down today complete with a panic attack and tears because my husband asked me to go to the grocery store. I couldn’t do it. I have a phobia about grocery stores and grocery store parking lots. It’s a long story better left for another time.

So I proceeded to give myself a major beat down. “You are damaged goods lady! You can’t even go to the grocery store. You should be grateful that you afford groceries! Many people have worse problems and they manage to function...what the hell is wrong with you???” On and on I went. I can be extremely creative when it comes to ripping myself a new one. If I was as mean to anyone else as I am to myself they would probably bonk me over the head.

Why do I do this? Well there is that tiny little matter of dealing with bipolar, anxiety and PTSD. I don’t get to be perfect. Oh well.....

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( Shazerac ))))))

You are a blessing to many!


WC

[*Laurie*]

I don't know why we tend to beat up on ourselves. The Super Ego is a meanie.

I facilitate a support group and at the end of the group, when we're closing I remind everyone to be as kind to themselves as they would be to a beloved friend.

[Wonderfalls]

It doesn't even have to be a beloved friend. I would always tell myself to be as kind to myself as I would to one of my library patrons.

[Wander]

You don’t deserve the rage you inflicted upon yourself but I totally understand doing it. Maybe now is the time to be kind to yourself. I think you deserve a break. I am often found kicking or punching things yelling ‘Stupid fkn idiot’. Then I calm down and try to tell myself positive things about me. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. You are wonderful.

[emgreen]

I was so glad to see that you returned to posting, Shazerac, because your perspectives & the support you give others is so valued on PC. I don't know you personally, but you have great value to others Many of us have emotions which lead us to beat ourselves up, but try to look at the big picture (advice I should take myself!). As far as feeling semi-agoraphobic at times & having fears based on past experiences or irrational thought patterns (in my case), you're certainly not alone. There are many people here on PC who have the same problem, so I hope knowing you're not alone helps to some degree - & from what you wrote you have extreme empathy for those folks...yet another reason to give yourself credit for being a special human being. As others have already written, try to give yourself a break. You deserve it.

[liveforsummer]

Can totally relate. No one will ever be as hard or mean to me...as me. (Hmm that doesn’t seem right grammatically). I would never treat or talk to others as I do to myself.

Somehow, we need to reflect our own good advice back to ourselves.