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#1
Apr 11, 2018, 05:47 PM
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I not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. I’m not a foodie, my husband is. I eat live, I don’t live to eat. My husband is the exact opposite. His world revolves around food. His is over weight and seems to think that food is the solution to any problem. I don’t, when I’m stressed out I don’t want to eat. Every day he asks me “what do you want to do about dinner?” It freaks me the hell out. I DON’T CARE! When I get hungry I eat something. We are sort of half asssed preppers and at any given time we have enough food to feed a small army. My answer always is “ I don’t know...I want food..I guess.”
I feel like I am lacking in some way because I don’t feel like planning dinner everyday. I’m not sure if he feels like that it’s a social issue and that we should eat dinner together. Hate it when he plans out a dinner because when he cooks it takes him forever and I’m starving to the point of violence by the time he puts dinner on the table, furthermore he’s destroyed the entire kitchen when he’s finished and “ I should clean because he cooked.” Blah! Just because 2 people live in the same house should they be obligated to have the same appetite clock and eat every meal together? Don’t know why this stresses me out so much. But it does ...big time. He asked me today what do you want to do for dinner? I got diarrhea and went to bed. My body just wasn’t having any part of this.
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 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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 Anonymous45023, HALLIEBETH87, RainyDay107, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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 Wild Coyote
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#2
Apr 11, 2018, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
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| RainyDay107, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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| Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#3
Apr 11, 2018, 07:29 PM
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I am so tired of that question and the whole dinner ritual!
I am supposed to decide what is for dinner, get dinner and clean up. Every. Single. Night. I am so burnt out on it!  Great topic!  WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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| RainyDay107
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#4
Apr 11, 2018, 07:41 PM
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When i lived by myself I solved the problem by “the Just day no” method for shopping. I kept The basics in my house, beans, rice, veggies! Etc. dry goods are easily ordered online. On Amazon I order assorted frozen proteins, chicken, fish etc. I never had to do the Bataan Death March to the grocery store. Occasionally I picked up some tuna or flavored drinks at the drug store when I make a run for Meds or ciggies. Why does feeding our bodies have to be so friggin complicated.?
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Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#5
Apr 11, 2018, 07:48 PM
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This is one aspect of my life that is easier now that my husband is gone. I no longer have to plan dinner for two people and a child, just me and my son. And my son eats peanut butter sandwiches, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, etc. but I do get really down on myself for not feeding him a “proper” dinner. but at least I don’t leave him to fend for himself like my mom did. So I guess that’s a step up. If I’m too depressed or hypomanic to eat then I just don’t, I don’t have to worry about providing a meal for someone else.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| Anonymous45390, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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| Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#6
Apr 11, 2018, 10:31 PM
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| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#7
Apr 11, 2018, 10:49 PM
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My husband was always the one concerned with dinner, too. Fortunately he was one of those people who cared enough to fix the food himself rather than holler at me to do it. Years later, I'm glad he did because we all sat down to at least one meal together as a family and there was a full dinner on the table, even if it was just pizza and a salad. Me, I never cared for cooking---I did it when the kids were little and I was a SAHM, but it was never my thing. Now that I'm widowed I very seldom fix myself a full meal, maybe a sandwich or a bowl of soup, but my son and his husband cook for the family most of the week and once in a while I'll make my signature porcupine meatballs or beer-batter fish. But since my husband died I've been really noncommittal about food...if I eat, great, if I don't, oh well.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
| Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#8
Apr 12, 2018, 12:27 AM
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omg with kids ..who knew they want to be fed EVERY NIGHT lol
and both my boys like quote unquote "real food" I could live off bread and water for weeks. If I never have to figure out dinner again I will be haaaapppy
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I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Wild Coyote
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#9
Apr 12, 2018, 02:30 AM
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Serious question but you’ve a wicked sense of humor!
Thinking back to living with an SO — so many years ago! — I was fortunate enough to always be in walking distance from an assortment of restaurants. The question of, “you hungry?” might be answered in various ways but always within the ‘we are responsible for feeding ourselves,’ sphere. You’ll encounter 50 or more cuisines walking one-quarter mile down the King’s Road. Knock yerself out, baby.
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amicus_curiae Contrarian, esq. Hypergraphia Someone must be right; it may as well be me. I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid. —Donnie Smith— |
| Wild Coyote
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#10
Apr 12, 2018, 05:56 AM
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I feel the one thing I usually can control is dinner. I love to cook, it hasn’t been an easy process, but I’m also really creative and can improvise.left overs are amazing, I have so many food allergies, this helps overall my moods.
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#11
Apr 12, 2018, 06:23 AM
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food is so overrated!
on a related note, one thing that gets to me is when people ask- what did you have for dinner?. was it good?. food is the best isn't it? no it isn't. I eat because I need to eat to survive. it's very rare that I actually enjoy eating |
| Wild Coyote
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#12
Apr 12, 2018, 02:55 PM
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Live to eat. Eat some more to live and eat. Is Priority #2. Priority #1..................... fill the blank.
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]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
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#13
Apr 12, 2018, 03:03 PM
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I usually plan a week's worth of dinners in advance, and the family has software to change meals in advance. So if they ask me what's for dinner I tell to look at the program. I pick a mixture of familiar and new stuff. Also helps with buying groceries.
The worst, though, is mornings. My husband would make breakfast if he doesn't feel like crap. Then it's: "What do you want for breakfast?" "Food..." "What kind of food?" "Edible breakfast food..." It makes me want to reach through Messages and throttle him. Eventually we just go out. Too ill to cook but still good enough to drive an SUV. |
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#14
Apr 12, 2018, 04:12 PM
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Hm! I never considered this being a ‘thing’ as I’m single and have never lived with any of my past boyfriends. But I might pay attention to this as I can see it being an important balance to strike. I would have the same challenges as you. Often I don’t have an appetite and don’t want to be forever. At times like those I try and eat simply and would not want an elaborate meal. I think if he’s persistent on cooking them despite you wanting a large elaborate meal after you having communicated this, then he’s doing it for him and he should be prepared to clean up after himself too. I don’t think you both have to agree but maybe the expectations around it need to shift. He needs to stop pretending that he’s doing it for you. Unless maybe you are a light eater and he’s concerned about you not eating enough - maybe he’s trying to get you excited about food... but again, that’s his choice to do so and should not come as a gift with an expectation to clean. It’s nice when cleaning up after a meal could be something you might surprise him with when you want to show some appreciation back or when you ask him to cook for you...
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Bipolar, ADHD, Social Anxiety |
| Shazerac
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#15
Apr 13, 2018, 12:24 PM
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#16
Apr 14, 2018, 09:47 AM
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My boyfriend really enjoys eating and I want to cook more, but I’ve mo idea what to cook ... he says he’s not picky, but ... I get little input. I’m the type that can cook well if I have a recipe and it’s a waste if I try something new and no one likes it ... meaning, it’s cooked properly but no one is enthusiastic about it. |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#17
Apr 14, 2018, 10:40 AM
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I’m actually a good cook. Go figure... but I HATE To cook. I think part of it comes from being the oldest of 6 kids and a single mother. I started cooking for my siblings when I was so young that I had to stand on a chair to reach the stove. Then I had kids and they had to be fed every night. The little monsters! The very nerve!
I guess I’m just totally over it. If I never cooked again that would be fine and dandy! I would be perfectly happy to live on cheese, crackers and fruit for the rest of my life.
__________________
Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#18
Apr 14, 2018, 10:50 AM
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Input helps! I mean... it seems like the least they can do is to let us know what they would like. My H used to cook some but hasn't lately. I try to get his preferences before shopping. Sometimes he will shop and he sticks to the list even if he sees something else he would like.  I am a very flexible cook. Sometimes, I look for new recipes in the net. I might not use a specific recipe, but it gives me ideas. WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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#19
Apr 14, 2018, 10:55 AM
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When I cook now, I often still cook in large batches and freeze some. WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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| Shazerac
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#20
Apr 14, 2018, 02:20 PM
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I'm a good cook too, but I get anxious every time that I cook. I've cooked for my daughter until recently and she was picky the entire time. I'm now down to a lot of quick recipes that don't require massive amounts of preparation. |
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#21
Apr 14, 2018, 02:24 PM
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To me massive preparation in putting jelly on bread.
__________________
Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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