When I was 13 I hit my head pretty hard sometime when it was light out and only remember having distorted vision walking up the driveway, don't remember walking home or going inside. I remember my dad pouring alcohol on my cuts and scrapes and waking up a few hours later in a bed confused, then I don't remember anything but I woke up in a tent in the woods early in the morning probably 3am with friends and my hand/wrist/fingers hurt like a ***** (they were broken and/or sprained). I don't remember too much head pain, but that could have been masked by the multiple torn ligaments and broken bones in a concentrated area.

I also hit my head kinda hard skiing and everything went dark for a second.

Maybe my mood swings, bad memory, and lack of being able to pay attention is because of that and not some probably genetic chemical imbalance? I never saw a doctor (except for a bone doctor that messed up my hand even more by splinting it wrong), but looking back this was right before my brain started being screwy.

[still_crazy]

i don't know. psych diagnoses are...subjective. not very scientific. do the psych drugs help? are they worth the risks and costs? the diagnoses are supposed to just help w/ billing and to guide treatment.

Mood stabilizers and antidepressants don't help. The more sedating antipsychotics that knock anyone out calm me down, but I can't stand side effects so I just take them as a PRN.

But if my symptoms are from brain injury couldn't that be a different treatment? When I was in the hospital the counselor showed us a video of how people got misdiagnosed with bipolar, depression, whatever but it was actually lasting damage from physical trauma and when the docs caught on to that they put them in a special program and they actually recovered instead of taking meds that disable them or don't work just as much as their symptoms. I wouldn't have money to go to a program like that but I would like psychiatrists to stop assuming I have a chemical imbalance and if I take lithium for the rest of my life I'll be fine.

Sorry you're going through this

Whether or not you have bipolar, what you're saying suggests to me that your antipsychotic IS doing something. I'm not saying you have to take it and I'm not commenting on whether or not you have bipolar, but if a med helps with whatever you're dealing with, then it can be worth using even if your Dx changes. What matters most is that you're feeling better, regardless of what you may have. For example, mood stabilizers don't work well for me either, but I do have bipolar. They do absolutely nothing to stop the mood swings, yet they help immensely with my chronic agitation. And antidepressants don't help me either. Too low a dose, does nothing. Too high a dose, manic. And it's not entirely uncommon for antidepressants to be sugar pills for a lot of people, whether they have bipolar other not.

So try your best not to focus on the Dx. If meds don't help, you can always try therapy. Do what is best for YOU. Your ultimate goal is to improve your overall well-being and not worry about what Drs think your Dx is. If you can get the right help to feel better, then that's all that matters imo

Sorry for rambling

I'm not going to say "this isn't bipolar, so why should I take risperdal when I need to?" I am taking it and putting up with not functioning when I take it so that maybe tomorrow I won't be going to jail because I threatened to blow up something.
I'm saying, "this isn't bipolar, maybe there's something else that can help."

I just broke down because confusion is overwhelming and I don't even know how or why I'm still alive. There's probably so much rotting food all over the place because I forgot and don't spend every waking minute inspecting every single square millimeter of my dwelling. I had something really important I was supposed to tell someone, could I find the phone? No. Do I remember what that was? No. Could my house blow up in the next day because it could have been "I went to the basement and there was a funny smell." Possibly. Could it have been "I found bloody puke and the dog might die or it could have been something harmless" maybe.
I cannot do the things I need to do. Does risperdal keep me from harming myself or others? Yes. Does it actually improve my ability to live? No.
I don't ****ing care about my stupid piece of **** diagnosis, I care that if I'm misdiagnosed with something completely different I want to receive appropriate treatment. Antidepressants are crap for bipolar, would you want to have a MDD dx and have it take forever for your doc to stop giving you meds that make you worse and avoid the ones that actually work? Do you want to have BPD dx instead and have people tell you that you need DBT and meds aren't going to be effective? Maybe your symptoms were thyroid related. Would you like to keep trying lamictal, lithium, zyprexa, depakote, haldol, clozapine, seroquel, etc when you actually need something totally different?

I don't know anyone who wouldn't chill out after taking a sedating antipsychotic, that doesn't mean they couldn't benefit in treating what they actually have.

Yes, I feel better on Risperdal, but I also feel better after I cut, do rec. drugs, scream at undeserving people, and have sex with strangers. Should I do those things too?
There is a huge difference between feeling well and functioning well. I would rather function well and have the opportunity to really work on feeling well than feel well from the getgo but not have a clue on how to dress myself. yes, I frequently forget that you need to put your underwear on before your pants, and that's something risperdal I think makes worse.

[still_crazy]

hi. i am -very- sorry for the pain you've gone thru and are going thru. psychiatry fails a lot of people. maybe you'd be better off with a family doctor to give you what you need to get thru stuff, and then...just live? I"m kind of thinking about doing that, myself.

[Unrigged64072835]

Wow, that's a lot. Did you have a brain MRI? You might want to bring that up with your doc.

[wildflowerchild25]

I think you need to start with a family doctor and bring up your concerns. I don’t know what the treatment for a brain injury is or even if there is any effective treatment tbh. But you gotta start somewhere and that would be a GP. They could refer you to a neurologist or whatever specialist works with TBI.

[Asteya]

You NEED to watch A Change of Mind, it’s an amazing doc. I forget what it’s on, but I’m sure you can find it. (Netflix, Hulu or amazon prime vid)

[pirilin]

Bipolar is a soft term for manic depressive. They say bipolar to trigger the lunatic in us.
Are you different from the rest?. you must be bipolar.
Do you have money to burn?, you most be eccentric.
It's a creation by the inferiors that envy our talents.
Poker was five card stud until they realized the could not win. Then invented ten thousand variations.

[Pookyl]

I was born with a congenital neuro defect. Treatment is basically ongoing surgery ad nauseum.
Last year I spent 10 weeks with a neuropsychologist. They gave me lots of brain exercises (lots of free apps available on line) to improve my cognition and memory. They told me that the brain is a ‘use it or lose it’ organ.
My physical neuro issues are completely different to my mental health issues.
For your piece of mind, consider seeing a neurologist.