[Dolphin1983]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I feel hopeless about my interview.

I've been practicing for about 12 hours everyday and I'm still not good enough. I know that with practice I'll get better, but it's a matter of how much practice I'm going to need and if I'll be able to get in enough practice in time

Of course, the recruiter never sent me anything yet about the interview prep. She's supposed to send me stuff eventually. I'm hoping she stalls a bit so that I can do more prepping, since I can sort of figure out what my interview is going to look like (based on what I've googled).

Otherwise, doing ok. Sleeping far too much. Perhaps I am just exhausting myself with all this work...

Hi, I just checked your profile (briefly). Good luck with the job interview - have you shared what line of work? I saw the note about OCD and the doc vs personal feelings of diagnosis. Have you looked into OCPD? It may make more sense to you and from the little I read, spending 12 hours on work and still feeling like you didn't do enough sounds like a symptom. I don't know if you want to hear that or not so feel free to ignore me. Thought it may be helpful so figured worth mentioning

[Unrigged64072835]

Hugs to those who are struggling, and those who aren't and want one anyway.

Had session with trauma T. After I gave her more of my background story she was pretty amazed that I made it through life. She was going to do another EMDR session today, but I postponed it to next week. I'm having more memories come and go lately. At least she was non-judgmental in session. I needed that.

Not much else happened today. All I know is there's not a lot of money next month.

Time to make dinner. My moods have been in a blender and I don't know what flavor is coming out next. I'll be okay though.

[Blueberrybook]

Labs came in showing I'm pretty anemic. I thought the fatigue I was having was due to entering a depressive phase of my cycle. Never had my iron this low, and I am almost never anemic. It could have partly been caused by that perforated ulcer I had in Feb. (ulcer bleeding), and I'm not a big red meat eater on top of that. Hopefully, I can get those numbers up. Other labs look good, so pdoc is happy. The pdoc ordered the lab panel because I kept complaining of fatigue, but now I think I'm going to have to make an appt. with my primary care doc to discuss and check up on the low iron issue. I think she'll just do supplements, but I'm not sure if they will be OTC or prescription. I did have some anemia once in the past and she put me on prescription iron pills awhile. So tired of going to doctor's offices...sigh.

[GoldenSnitch]

Currently sitting in the er waiting for a pdoc

[giddykitty]

so bored and restless, but I've gotta do something in 10 minutes so I can't get into anything. ughhh so frustrating not to be able to just do what I want when the mood strikes. I pretty much have given up on a few things because it takes more time just to get into the mood than to actually do any work with it.

btw, sleep was a little better last night, and i'm moody today so I'm not sure this is really hypo. but i did do some yoga and knitting, things for myself and haven't done in many many months!! The knitting was pretty annoying though, that's when I did the yoga. I've a low threshold for patience these days. I wanna go, go go!!! or the opposite and curl up and sleep/daydream. Trying to find a balance.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

My moods have been in a blender and I don't know what flavor is coming out next. I'll be okay though.

I love this!!

I'm better. My moods seem to be pretty consistent. I think I've reached stability for some time now, which is good considering how much pressure I've been under lately. My house has gone to foreclosure awaiting this disability process, so getting a decent paying job has been priority number one. So I finally did, but I don't start until July. Much later than I had hoped, but it's still something to look forward to. I'll let my disability attorney know shortly, well as soon as I have an official start date. My uncle has been kind enough to pay the attorney fee for a bankruptcy so that I can keep my house. I don't know what I would do without him! I'm so blessed that he is able to help me with this. The stress of possibly losing my home was immense, but having to pack everything up and move was more stressful so I'm truly grateful for his assistance.
I also got back in touch with my best friend from high school. Him and I dated on and off for several years. But I'm thrilled to just have his companionship again. It's like time hasn't passed and we've picked back up where we left off, well on better terms than it ended at least. So I go to his place on Fridays and we just hang out watching tv. It's nice.
My sister is expecting a little girl in August, so that's exciting and something to look forward to. We all can't wait to welcome her into the world.
So that's what has been happening in a nutshell. There are some new names here to catch up on, but I'm hoping I can catch up with you all as best as I can. Hope all is well with everyone.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m doing well today. Hoping to be discharged from IOP soon. I really want to go back to my regular t. I haven’t seen her since April 18 when she called mobile crisis on me. I want to apologize for how I acted that day and the days leading up to it. I was doing too much and I know it.

I’m trying my hardest to get unemployment but not having much luck. They hung up on me when I called last week and they won’t let me apply online for some reason. I’m gonna try back tomorrow. I need to get it because I can’t pay for cobra insurance without it. I’m hoping that my job won’t fight it. I don’t have the energy to fight for it.

If I’m lucky I’ll get the job I interviewed for last week but I don’t think so. I’m just gonna keep applying. Someone will take a chance on me someday.

So really, same old same old. I saw NV today for the first time In two weeks! He fell asleep lol because he hadn’t slept at all. It was nice just laying next to him falling asleep myself. I wish I could sleep with him every night. I know it’s too soon for all that though. I don’t want to come on too strong. I haven’t even introduced him to any of my family. I will eventually but we’ve only been dating for two and a half months.

Trying to remain positive in the face of endless adversity is hard but I think I’m doing a good job.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m doing well today. Hoping to be discharged from IOP soon. I really want to go back to my regular t. I haven’t seen her since April 18 when she called mobile crisis on me. I want to apologize for how I acted that day and the days leading up to it. I was doing too much and I know it.


I’m trying my hardest to get unemployment but not having much luck. They hung up on me when I called last week and they won’t let me apply online for some reason. I’m gonna try back tomorrow. I need to get it because I can’t pay for cobra insurance without it. I’m hoping that my job won’t fight it. I don’t have the energy to fight for it.


If I’m lucky I’ll get the job I interviewed for last week but I don’t think so. I’m just gonna keep applying. Someone will take a chance on me someday.


So really, same old same old. I saw NV today for the first time In two weeks! He fell asleep lol because he hadn’t slept at all. It was nice just laying next to him falling asleep myself. I wish I could sleep with him every night. I know it’s too soon for all that though. I don’t want to come on too strong. I haven’t even introduced him to any of my family. I will eventually but we’ve only been dating for two and a half months.


Trying to remain positive in the face of endless adversity is hard but I think I’m doing a good job.

Sounds like you are doing a great job at trying to remain positive! I hope the good things continue for you!

[GoldenSnitch]

Pdoc in er admitted me so I’ll be ip for the next little bit while my meds adjust

feeling blah today.

tough night yesterday with flashbacks, and very very stressfull.

positive side is that my nauzia is gone and I am able to move around again.

yay!

[liveforsummer]

Sitting at gp’s office waiting to be seen (nothing to do with MI) but he always asks how I’m doing and I’m going to try very hard to sit still and say I’m good. Just don’t want to get into all the mixed moods that are going on right now the past few days. See pdoc in July will discuss then. Do not want lamotrigine increase but not sure what they’d do. I take my Ativan now and then, it calms the fidgetiness. Maybe it’ll settle down I was like this last May June but this is less severe. Long walks and music are helping.
Now I’m rambling ....

Hugs to all that need them or just want one!

[bpforever1]

I am feeling well. I wish everybody well and hope that those who are suffering may find hope somehow by knowing that nothing lasts forever. We are all here for just a moment in time. Good times and bad times come and go. But, death is permanent. Thus, please live your life to the fullest , cherish the good times, and ride out the bad times. I also wish mental illness was easier to deal with and a cure available. For now, let's all endure the hardship together. Let us be strong and support each other. Never give up even during the darkest moments. I know these moments myself and have reached a point in my life where I can look back and pat myself on the back for surviving this far. Life is a journey, not a destination. May all of your journeys be one filled with joy and happiness. May your sorrows be replaced with a sense of survival. If you feel unloved, someone out there feels your pain as well. Please seek the light of the end of the tunnel. I have and know suffering and pain as much as the next person. I really am happy about the support on this site. Thank you for reading this. Hopefully, my messages are helpful to those who read them. I guess, I just want to thank everybody here on this site.

[pirilin]

I'm happier than a shoe in a roach ballroom.

[Daonnachd]

I have a meeting with my T today. It’s been two weeks, but I’m not sure what I want to talk about.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've missed 2 weeks of therapy. I was sick and called off last week because had laryngitis and then this week was Memorial day. I was supposedly on the cancellation list both weeks but have a feeling that didn't happen. I could still be called for tomorrow but at this point it is becoming unlikely. I hate this; I do best when I'm seeing him regularly and 2 weeks is too long.

It's even worse because next week I see him twice and then I'm away for 2 weeks.

Poor timing.

[Scooter9]

I'm just putting up with another day of feeling low. My pdoc increased my dose of Lithium yesterday and today is the first day on the new dose, so no changes yet.

[liveforsummer]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I am feeling well. I wish everybody well and hope that those who are suffering may find hope somehow by knowing that nothing lasts forever. We are all here for just a moment in time. Good times and bad times come and go. But, death is permanent. Thus, please live your life to the fullest , cherish the good times, and ride out the bad times. I also wish mental illness was easier to deal with and a cure available. For now, let's all endure the hardship together. Let us be strong and support each other. Never give up even during the darkest moments. I know these moments myself and have reached a point in my life where I can look back and pat myself on the back for surviving this far. Life is a journey, not a destination. May all of your journeys be one filled with joy and happiness. May your sorrows be replaced with a sense of survival. If you feel unloved, someone out there feels your pain as well. Please seek the light of the end of the tunnel. I have and know suffering and pain as much as the next person. I really am happy about the support on this site. Thank you for reading this. Hopefully, my messages are helpful to those who read them. I guess, I just want to thank everybody here on this site.

Loved this, thank you! I particularly liked your line that “life is a journey, not a destination”

[251turnaround]

Everything is GREAT. omg. It's been so long since I've felt this good, been so productive. It's incredible! It just keeps getting better and better every day nonstop. It's kind of concerning, yeah, but I love it. It feels so amazing. I am filled with euphoria!!!!!

[Cocosurviving]

Last night I went to bed at 9PM yet this morning I had a hard time getting out of bed. I went to Honda to get my oil changed and tires rotated.
Then I went to my daughter K’s apartment and packed her some clothes. I took out her trash. I went to the IP hospital it was so weird walking in because the last time I was on the premises. I was leaving from being discharged. Two ladies greeted me at the door. I told them my daughter was IP and I was dropping off some clothes. They took the clothes out the bag checked over the clothes and told me I did good. I said yes I know what’s acceptable at mental hospitals. I had hygiene products but the ladies said the hospital supples that. They did not back in 2013. They allowed my mom to bring me hygiene products.

Back on Risperidone. Almost passed out last night, have been suicidal, and sucked at work in an unsafe way. Not taking it again. I'm not listening to anyone who says I'm unwell or have some sort of illness anymore because they just want to hurt me.

[Tucson]

I am here. I have paid some bills. I have talked to the next door neighbor who likes to pry into my life and the life of others. I really cannot help myself but to tell them what they want to know with few decisions not to. I do not know why I do this.

[Blueberrybook]

Feeling so-so today. I walked 4 miles this morning, napped a little, did laundry, dropped off a library book, got a birthday card for my nephew. My 10.5 yr old daughter is home and keeps getting bored. It seems like she wants to do something with me, but when I suggest something that would appeal to me too - paint our nails, bake something, no, no, no. She has this doll saga game she likes to play, but it is mind numbing. I played it yesterday, and I just can’t today. I do not like board games. Outside, the heat is at record level for this time of year. I asked if she wanted to get a frappucino at Starbucks...or frozen yogurt at the yogurt place...no. I think she just really wants me to play the doll game, but UGH! Tomorrow, at least we can go mail off my nephew’s birthday card (hubby has to sign it too), and there are some things to do around the post office. She didn’t want to get books at the library today because she is finishing off her last buy from the school book fair, and my mom gave her the entire set of Nancy Drew books over Christmas, so she has plenty to read. I am having a hard time too, low on energy, in part depression, in part low iron levels, so that is not helping.

I put my daughter in a week long morning kid writing camp next week. She went last year and liked it; the kids write a story and make a diorama to accompany the story. Plus, the library will start their summer reading program and activities next week. This week has been hard though. The joys of adolescence

[gina_re]

Today was ok. I received an email that the job I was supposed to start in July has been pushed back until August! That's so far away! I need the money now, why did this have to happen?! I'm so annoyed about that. Other than that disappointing news, just a regular day for me.

[Unrigged64072835]

Not much happened today. I got my hair done and my daughter dropped off her application at ALDI. She actually helped the managers set up the tables for applicants to meet them. I hope they remember that when they call her next week.

Still kind of rattled from yesterday, but I'm getting better.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had a great day today. Spent most of the day with NV. We took a three hour nap together lol. Doesn’t sound like much but it’s really nice to sleep next to someone again. I know I’m in love. I know it sounds crazy as we’ve only been dating for 2 and a half months but it’s true. If I can say it now that the hypomania has worn off then I know in my heart it’s true. I’m not going to tell him though. Not yet anyway. Want to give it more time.

After sleeping for a bit we went out to lunch. I bought him lunch a couple of weeks ago so he bought me lunch today. It was tasty.

I had chiro and PT today for my back. It feels looser this time, I don’t feel beat up like I did after my last PT session. I’m hoping this will help me! I’m so tired of this back pain. I let it go on for far too long. I’m hoping I didn’t do any permanent damage to my back by letting it go for so long.

So, another good day. Happy to be here.