[SorryShaped]

I want to just give up and drink and drug myself into oblivion, but that doesn't seem fast enough. So, I'm sober and dealing with feeling like I want to die but knowing feeling like this is temporary. I've been having a messenger conversation with my ex for hours and I've agreed to have her over tomorrow for a while. I know not to do that and especially not when I'm feeling like this, but I can't help myself right now. She asked me out last night and I did think about it first, but did say no. I'm feeling destructive and want to be destroyed more than I can bring myself to do. Nightmares have made the idea of a nap an impossible fright. I'm going to physically workout later to the point of exhaustion before having to ride my bicycle three miles back home. I should be avoiding caffeine right now too, but it keeps away the nightmares. I can't dream if I am awake

[bizi]

I am sorry you are having a rough time right now.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Scooter9]

This will pass - you just have to hang on until it does. One hour at a time.

I am so sorry you’re struggling—do you need to tell your ex you can’t because you’re sick?

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by key tones

I am so sorry you’re struggling—do you need to tell your ex you can’t because you’re sick?

I feel so low I'll take any company. I swear if she makes a pass I'll give in. My friend said she'd check on me today around one. It's almost three. I'm about finished with the energy drink and getting revved up for this ride. Maybe I'll get run over, maybe I won't make it, maybe I'll make it and have done a new thing today. It's almost entirely uphill to get there with four lame traffic and nothing but danger and the knowledge that I should not do this. That's exactly why I am riding today. Defiance, purely.

Your ex is an absolutely terrible idea. It sounds comforting now, but after the visit you are going to regret it. You have to know this.

If you need distraction, facebook me a gazillion times. You can not annoy me. Talk about anything you want. Or I can talk to you about random stuff. You are not alone and you are cared about. If you aren't feeling strong, lean on me.