[Moreta]

I'm still alive. Been doing pretty decent lately. It was hell for a month though cause APPARENTLY they decreased ALL controlled substances at my pain drs practice, which is mother ****ing lame. Lost the whole month of june. Finally feeling decent again. I tried to go down on tramadol too fast and got really sick, so went back up half a pill and it's working out better, so down to 1.5 pills a day from the 3 pills I was on. god damn that sucked. I think yes i would wish that on my enemies lmaooooo. Other than that mood was wonky last month cause of the withdrawals but has seemed to even out again. I've been working on learning things about making life not suck so much and trying to be more productive. My garden is wild this year so i spend a lot of time in it. I'm growing zucchini, yellow squash, eggplant, peppers, and a couple diff kinds of tomatoes. Next year I want a bigger garden. The only bad thing about being out in the sun and being part irish is that there's freckles now all over my face. I hate it.

Other than that my husband is visiting this week from his job in NY. He's working for a congressional candidate up there in the hudson valley. I'm not sure he likes it up there, he's always complaining about the traffic. lol. He's also not a fan of the tolls and he has to go over the bridge from Rhinebeck to Kingston every day. He's going back up tomorrow and then won't be home till november. He did get a promotion though after they won the primary so maybe I can get my passport sorted and be able to fly up there for a few days a couple times to see him. tbh I kinda like my alone time. idk if that's bad or not. ha. just me and the animals. If i want to go to bed at 5 and not eat dinner it's totally ok. I have been cooking so much this week. I've actually lost weight cause I've gotten my appetite back and have been eating more. So that's good.

Maybe I'll be around more. idk. I'll see how it goes.

Good to see you, Moreta!

[eskielover]

Oh, I can relate to the pain specialists at least in this part of the country cutting ALL pain meds down to the morphine equivalent level that is MAX allowed for morphine. I went through that last year. It irritated me so much. I was using a totally non invasive patch & they were telling me I could just get a pain pump.....like OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! They had also been doing another treatment with a viscoise lidocaine solution but refused to prescribe it so I could do the treatment at home. I had a stock pile of the patches because I always stretched them to the limit. Have a friend who ended up being my GP PA & another friend who was my pharmicist (now retired). I calculated the # of patches then figured out how long I could make them last halfing the dose at each several months.

My PA friend prescribed the lidocaine so I can do the treatment at home. Just last month I finally went down all the way....without a bit of withdrawal. My pharmacist friend also researched the CBD oil (hemp oil no THC) & got me the 1800 mg eyedropper kind so when a migraine starts, just an eye dropper under the tongue works in 15 minutes. Maybe you could look into some other natural pain suppliments that might help now yiu are on the lower dose.

It is a total pain. I countered everything they told me at my last appointment. They were telling me how bad the med was for me....I had been on it almost 20 years with not one problem....so I asked what problem it was causing & EXACTLY HOW it was harming me. I said if I had taken enough OTC tylenol or ibuprophen my liver & kidneys woukd have been destroyed. So they said how bad it could be when I got older.....& I said ya, & tomorrow I coukd step off a curb & get killed by a car, so I should quit walking? After that appointment I knew I was NEVER going back. I even checked with our state rep & there were no laws about forcing this reduction. I am actually doing pretty good with taking my care into my own hands though I never had any migraines while on the dose that worked. I get them often now but at least I am now able to function.

I can totally relate to your frustration & anger

[~Christina]

Glad to see you Mo !!!

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry about your pain situation. I have fibromyalgia, but I know that doesn't compare. Glad you are able to cut down some.

They have gotten so tight on the pain meds. I swear, after a horrific surgery for a perforated ulcer this Valentine's Day (leaving me a 4" scar belly button up with staples), tubes everywhere, etc., all they would give me was a morphine pump. It did nothing to touch the pain. I was hallucinating for 3 or 4 days (and I don't think it was from the BP but from the pain). It was just awful. I hope I never have to re-live anything like that again.

They are getting tight on benzos too. I just recently switched off Klonopin because of a tolerance to it and onto Xanax XR, we'll see how that goes, but it got to the point where my pharmacy was only allowed to fill the prescription every 28 days, whereas other meds you could refill 5 or 6 days prior to running out.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Moreta! I'm glad you've checked in. About the controlled substances...I won't even get started, except to say this new phase of the FAILED War on Drugs absolutely infuriates me.

[still_crazy]

a lot of medicine--especially psychiatry and pain management--moves more on the basis of dogma, ideology, even trends...than they do on science and such. if you'll notice, the shrinks, in particular, are a trendy bunch. Klonopin was once the last ditch benzo for anxiety. now its #1, because its "less addictive." pain management isn't much better, from what I hear...

and its just plain ridiculous. for every 1 Dr. Feel Good you probably have 10 Dr."Don't Even ask for more!" giving sub-standard treatment. ugh.

[pirilin]

I also enjoy solitude for a few days. I don't know a few months, thought. I got needs.
Nice to have you back!!!. Cheers.