Originally Posted by bizi

The christmas party was a success.
... I really did not want a drink, just dealt with my awkwardness and social anxiety issues by holding a cup with a tea bag hanging off the edge.That cup of tea got me thru the evening.

I'm glad it was a success! So often it's about simply holding a cup, isn't it?! Just "something to do with our hands". So simple. So effective. Good for you!

[Sunflower123]

Congratulations on your success!!! Being AF for a month is huge!! Kudos.

[bizi]

Yesterday was a good day.
Worked out of town and then came back in time to go for gumbo with Jeff.
I ate a bowl of cabbage with a remulaude dressing to make a slaw.
The gumbo was fantastic and I told them so.
They are so friendly and we have been going there for years.
They built a new location free standing building right across from the gas station where they used to be. It has been fun seeing them get all of the finishing touches in place. They have been at the new location 3 weeks. It was warm outside high of 78 so not many people eating gumbo so it had cooked down to make it thicker.
It was delicious!!!!

I raked up some leaves in the after noon and put barrels in the front yard to be picked up on tuesday morning. They recycle yard waste, I think they mulch it.
Any way I am glad it doesn't just go to a land fill like they do in Indiana.

175.4 this morning...so happy to see the numbers go down, I have been yo yoing around 177-175 now for a week.

I went to the nail shop to get a nail fixed. They are so nice there. I always tip them really well because they are very hard working folks, husband and wife. It is a little shop.
Jeff had a gig with his big band group called the sky liners. He was gone for over 5 hours, and that is how long I was on the computer. But this time I did productive things.

I did some research for my friend karen about electrocuted and with the help of a forum friend was able to find a support group for survivors of electrical shock. So am anxious to give her some of the printouts of what I found out about after care. I think I will see her tomorrow.

After that I worked on my policy and procedure manual.
I had put together one from 15 years ago. so pulled that out of the filing cabinet. And redid the contents. I made it much more simple to read and follow what it is that I do.
It is about 20 pages long. I had to re word and type up 4 new pages of text combining several redundant pages making it easier to read. It took me forever to do this as there was not a spell check and my typing is some what slow and I make errors in spelling. So I had to constantly reread the pages to make sure they were all correct.
Printing them up took many tries getting them each to fit on a single page.With some rewording, I was able to do it, just finished up when jeff came home at midnight.

The reason I put this together was in fear.
Last week I saw a client for the first time and was horrified what I found. She had an ingrown toe nail that had been going on for quite some time. It was the worst one That I have ever seen. They did not prepare me for what their mothers big toe looked like. They told me that this had been going on for a month and hospice/nurse practioner sawit ans just said yep it is ingrown.
I just did what I always do, they had been soaking her feet in epson salts as I had instructed them to do before my visit.
They medicated her with some morphin and I went about cleaning her toe and getting rid of all of the dead debri, and cut the nail back as best as I could to discover it was all the way down to the bone.
I was horrified.
I would have sent her to the emergency room had she not been on hospice.
I was irritated that the hospice people did not do anything and called me into take care of the ingrown nail. I gave the family member instructions for wound care and applied a dressing.
That was all out of my scope of practice.

Later the hospice nurse called me and started questioning me about why I did not call them with my findings. I told them the family members had said that this had been going on a month, I was a bit defensive. She said that she had my phone number if they had any other questions. This made me very nervous. I hope they don't report me.
They were negligent.
Looking back at it I should not have done it but I always do what has to be done.
So in doing the procedure manual I feel confident that I have covered my tracks and wrote it in such a way that I followed my guide lines.
This was the only thing that I could do to cover my tracks and to deal with my anxiety.

Got up this morning and am onto my 3rd cup of coffee. The sun is shining and I don't think we have rain today so that is good. Cooler weather is coming again...it is now december!
Perhaps we can take the tree down out of the attic and decorate it. I have not done any shopping or planning for christmas presents for anyone yet.
Although the 3 daughters have come together to combine gifts for them.
Dad wanted a new pair of shoes, Jill bought them, They needed a new tv, gretchen bought that, we are paying for the cat boarding for February's annual trip to florida. They will be gone 3 weeks.

I told mom that I would be coming home to celebrate her 80th birthday, feb 3rd.
This is the coldest and snowyist month for them I will stay about 3-4 days and allow time after that in case I get snowed in from a snow storm.

I am not going to florida this year and don't plan on going ever again.That trip last year is not my idea of vacation. Even though it is a family thing, I believe I have the right to bow out of going. The first time that I joined them for that trip was a disaster. When we first got there I cried because I did not now what to do. and made a scene. It was awful. And then for the entire week I drank like a sailor...it was not pretty. I told my sisters that I did not want any thing to do with that time share, that they could have it.
Any way,
I am sorry this is so long.
Thank you for reading.
I better get going. Jeff is ready to go to brunch.
No bloody marys for me! Being Alcohol free suits me well.
bizi

[bizi]

Another great weekend!
Had brunch at the diner:
3 eggs scrambled with fresh spinach and a side of spinach and mustard greens and smoked sausage. It was delicious!
Jeff got the christmas trees down from the attic and set them up.
One is on the floor in the living room it is about 6 feet tall.
The other one is 3 ft tall and it is on our dining room table.
I put the other decorations up around the living room, including a one feet tall mini tree with IU decorations from indiana and red and white colors and ornaments. It is cute.
WE were invited to dinner at jeffs best friends house.
So we went there at 5;30 and we ate at 6.
He prepared a chicken dish with a red sauce with tomatoes and peppers and asparagus. It was very good. I did not eat the rice. He also fixed a cucumber salad and his daughter was there and she brought some now safe to eat romaine lettuce and some dressing that was very good.
They ate ice cream treats for dessert and I had a mini resses peanut butter cup. Drank sweetened tea and water while they drank gin and tonics.

Did not miss the alcohol at all, I knew that if I had one I would want more and more. sigh
Came home and ate 2 squares of dark chocolate which was very satisfying.
chewed gum to keep my mouth busy.
I ate just the right amount of food as to not be too full.
I need to watch portion sizes at sandras for lunches they always give me so much food. Tomorrow I will bring a little cooler with me.
I look forward to karens stories at lunch. Will bring the info that I printed off for her. Don't know how she will take it. Alot of it talks about needing therapy to work thru issues and about ptsd. I believe she suffers from this as well. Well I had better sign off as my back is starting to bother me.
bizi

edited to add that it was 80 degrees as I listened to christmas music and then the ice cream man drove by. lol gotta love the south!

[Nammu]

We haven't put up a tree this year. The little one sounds cute.

[Sunflower123]

We got a 3 foot tall tree this year with lights and ornaments that we put on the dining room table. It’s cute. Usually we go all out but decided not to this year with everything going on.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

We got a 3 foot tall tree this year with lights and ornaments that we put on the dining room table. It’s cute. Usually we go all out but decided not to this year with everything going on.

I hope that everything that is going on slows down for you and improves.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bizi]

I don't think I told you that our cat hattie had surgery today.
She had a tumor on the side of her back about the size of an egg. It got infected and we treated her for that the past week. Jeff is great at giving her meds. He got this thunder coat that wraps around her protects the incision and comforts her but she is having a hard time getting up and walking around freely. It is supposed to help with anxiety and we thought it would be easier on her instead of that cone collar they put on her. Jeff said she went crazy with it on her...so we opted for this.

I just hope the incision is ok.
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Poor kitty.....they so hate restraints. I had a cat who was a genius at removing IVs, bandages, etc and so he had to wear the cone and he absolutely refused to eat until they took it off. I even sat in his cage at the vets' and tried to spoon feed him but he was so mad about the collar that he refused to look at the food. I'm glad the thundershirt covers the incision. One of my friends used to put her (small) dogs in baby clothes to prevent them from getting at incisions. It looked funny but it did work.

[bizi]

Great idea! We thought a baby shirt. She is 16 pounds.
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If you are sew-y at all you could get a baby shirt and add elastic or a drawstring to the hem and then pull that tight at the back of her belly. She'd still bee able to pee and the wound would be hidden.

[Nammu]

Oh, poor kitty. Sir sends a heartfelt meow and a lick for kitty's ear.

[bizi]

jeff said he saw her eat and drink but she still is not waking quite right. so he loosened the coat and she promptly went under our bed.
sigh
bizi

[bizi]

Jeff is doing a great job medicating her, 2 syringes full this morning, some pain meds and the antibiotic. I hope the pain meds work and don't make her zonk out. We will be gone most of the day so won't know how she does. She kept the coat on all night so that is good so much better than the cone that she was frantic about when she came home from the vets. The coat has worked out beautifully.
173.8 this morning....happy about that! Lowest I have been in 6 months!

I splurged last night for dinner we went to jasons deli and I had a small egg/ham, mayo sandwich...it is called a "Sammy", and one hard boiled egg.

I love breakfast for dinner. Then came home and ate some left over smothered swiss chard from sandras. I had split in half what they gave me for lunch (2 huge meat balls with sauce over tabouli and bok choy and chard.) It was delicious! So I have left overs, maybe I will come home and eat them for lunch????
At 6:15 I will pick Karen up to go the the musical gathering tonight.
There will be 3 female sings/song writers there. They sing cajun french songs. There will also be some sharing of stories and personal info about themselves. It is an intimate room so that will be nice we will try to go early to get a good seat.
Even though I turned the heat up our house feels cold.
Need to get going...on to my 3rd cup of coffee.
hope yall have a nice day!
bizi

Karen just canceled...guess I will go by myself....I told her I was disappointed.

[bizi]

Treated myself to a medium size chocolate bar after a healthy dinner.
Gotta make this diet plan work.

Occasionally I will eat what I want and it wont ruin my diet!!
bizi

then I ate a protein bar just because I wanted to try it...it was ok I guess.
blueberry macadamia nut....I had high hopes.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bizi

I hope that everything that is going on slows down for you and improves.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I’ve been sick since Thanksgiving but am improving each day! I take care of my brother who has a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis. He won’t leave the house unless I go with him to protect him and stay right by his side and the hallucinations are bad right now. He trusts me and wants me by his side for hours. That’s what I meant by hands full.

I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier but I feel a strong sense of shame over my embarrassment when we are out in public and his hallucinations cause him to get into an argument with people he thinks are dissing him. Most times I can defuse the situation and apologize to folks and everything is ok. Sometimes I can’t and it’s embarassing to me.

Doing really good mood wise. Thank you for your kind words.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve been sick since Thanksgiving but am improving each day! I take care of my brother who has a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis. He won’t leave the house unless I go with him to protect him and stay right by his side and the hallucinations are bad right now. He trusts me and wants me by his side for hours. That’s what I meant by hands full.

I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier but I feel a strong sense of shame over my embarrassment when we are out in public and his hallucinations cause him to get into an argument with people he thinks are dissing him. Most times I can defuse the situation and apologize to folks and everything is ok. Sometimes I can’t and it’s embarassing to me.

Doing really good mood wise. Thank you for your kind words.

Jennifer,

I am so very relieved to read you are doing better with each passing day.

You deserve a lot of credit for working so hard for your brother's welfare. I can see where his delusional behavior might cause some social embarrassment. I am sorry you feel shame; yet, I do understand. I hope you can find a way to not feel any shame. You have a huge heart. You are truly his hero!

Love and Prayers for You and Yours,

WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Jennifer,

I am so very relieved to read you are doing better with each passing day.

You deserve a lot of credit for working so hard for your brother's welfare. I can see where his delusional behavior might cause some social embarrassment. I am sorry you feel shame; yet, I do understand. I hope you can find a way to not feel any shame. You have a huge heart. You are truly his hero!

Love and Prayers for You and Yours,

WC

Thank you WC.... I really appreciate your message and I really appreciate you.

[bizi]

Just a suggestion....
Some where I read about a mother who had a special needs boy and acted up terribly in public too. When she would get dissaproveing looks from mothers Like why can't you control your kid. She had ready aa small piece of paper to give to them saying that her child had special needs...to ask for compassion etc. Would that help you?
bizi

[Sunflower123]

That’s a great idea bizi!!! I will start doing that. Thank you.
((((( Hugs )))))

[Sunflower123]

. Thank you for being so kind.

[bizi]

Thanks for the photo jenn!
We woke up this morning to rain, flash flood watches insu.
Also woke up to hattie not having her coat on...so who knows how long she had it off. The incision site still looks good, maybe she left the incision/stitches a lone. It looks like she did. Jeff continues to medicate her 2 times a day. When we put her coat back on she is pretty good about it, doesn't struggle. Forgot to tell you, we found the coat in the kitty litter box! LOL
At least we know she is using the box!

I am seeing a client this morning then come home for our usual Chris's po boys for some chicken and sausage gumbo!
The jeffs best friend daughter is coming over at 1pm To help me with some busy work that is tedious and that I don't like doing.

Then I have a hair appointment at 1:30pm hubby will be home while abigail works. It should only take a couple of hours, not sure.
My hair appointment is for a retouch color and hair cut.

Thursday was guest appreciation day.
I was able to purchase goods at 20% off and prebook my services for 3 months in advance at a 20% discount and buy gift cards of $100 and receive $20. So I figured out approximately how much I spend in the year and bought 8 gift cards and got $160 dollars. Where else can you get a 20% return???? So all of that really helps out and makes the services affordable.

After my hair day I will see another client who has been suffering with corns and callus that she has been trying to doctor up herself. She has been calling me getting info...with out having me come to see her(think free advice) finally when she called back yesterday...I told her that I can't just give her advice I needed to see her and there would be the charge for that visit.
She agreed to the visit today.

Tonight is the 2nd saturday of the month Art walk. Galleries are open late and it is something that we enjoy doing. Am hoping the rain stops by then.

We have salmon to eat tonight got it from Sandras health food store pre marinated so it should be good. I bought a pound of it yesterday. Wondering if our friend Paul would like to come for dinner???

I need to get going.
Have a great day Yall!
bizi

[bizi]

Bad news.
Heard from the vet this morning that hattie's tumor that he removed last tuesday came back as cancerous.
He recommended more surgery with a trip out of town to the vet school for an oncology assesment. The surgey would remove more tissue and muscle tissue.
He told me that he took even more tissue than normal for this type of tumor because he sensed it was cancerous.
He said that there is an 80% chance that it will not come back. 20% chance it will.
She has an appointment on tuesday, so jeff wants to talk about it more with him.
I don't want to put her through that...but it is jefffs cat and his decision.
I will honor that.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Bad news.
Heard from the vet this morning that hattie's tumor that he removed last tuesday came back as cancerous.
He recommended more surgery with a trip out of town to the vet school for an oncology assesment. The surgey would remove more tissue and muscle tissue.
He told me that he took even more tissue than normal for this type of tumor because he sensed it was cancerous.
He said that there is an 80% chance that it will not come back. 20% chance it will.
She has an appointment on tuesday, so jeff wants to talk about it more with him.
I don't want to put her through that...but it is jefffs cat and his decision.
I will honor that.
bizi

Oh Dear!

So sorry.

(((((( Hattie, Jeff, Bizi )))))))

A big hug for all three!

Love and Prayers,
WC

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm so sorry Bizi. It's really hard to know exactly what to do in these situations. I went through it a few years ago and while my cat got much sicker before any procedures were done and the outcome was obvious it was still heartbreaking trying to know what was best until there was no doubt.