[bizi]

Good morning.
I think I am coming down....
slept in today shut off my alarm, I was supposed to take a shower but just could not get up. I will take one tomorrow before our lunch and getting my hair done at 1;30.
I will have a new gal. Hopefully I will like her.
When I am hypo my writing is off. I looked at some figures from before our trip and it did not look my hand writing. Even now I am having a hard time typing making typos left and right. Having to correct many sentences.
While in europe, time flew by...I hardly remember a thing. That is what happens when I go on vacation. We rush thru things.
I think my memory is so bad due to an intake problem, maybe I am ADD.
We drank a lot of alcohol on our trip. It was me that kept us up until midnight the last night when we had to get up at 4am...then had a 24 hour travel time the next day.
My routine is off and doesn't come naturally. I skip steps and move onto something else.
yesterday My work was fine but am tired. Saw 5 people yesterday which is a lot for me usually I see 4 clients. my day starts at 10am this morning giving me plenty of time to post and surf the boards.
I still feel hypo.
I was hypo when ordering all of those meal plans. Got confused when one was coming then 2 were scheduled for the same delivery date. I was able to fix the dates. sigh

I am starting to analyze jeffs behavior.
He procrastinates things that are his responsibility around the house.
I am calling him out on this.
I sort of feel like he wants me to do every thing and I am now resisting.
I gave the check book to him to do months ago, to get him involved with money matters.
WE need to give money back to the line of credit once we figure out the check book. We moved alot of money from savings as well.
I think booking the trip to paris was an impulsive/ hypo thing, we charged it to our line of credit. Then I was really hypo getting ready for the trip.

So this line of credit is like a charge card with good interest rate: 5.9%
This is the first time in many years that we have debt out side of our regular car loans and mortgage. Since I am coming down I can see these things more clearly now.
Jeff doesn't question my actions and goes along with what ever I want to do. This puts all of our spending, finances on me, though he is doing the check book now. WE have never had a budget.we spend freely, going out to eat for lunch and and some dinners, but go out on the weekends as well

Buying facial treatments was impulsive as well.
I put them on my credit card.
I was confused where I bought Euros from either checking or savigs. yesterday I figured out they came out of savings. That is where I thought my hand writing was not my writing. and asked jeff about it.
sigh
I hope I don't come down to hard.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( bizi ))))))

May you land with ease.


WC

[bizi]

Went to bed at 12:45am.
Woke up once to pee then got up at 10;45...9 hours.
I needed the sleep.
I feel better this morning.
My routine this morning seemed more natural and not half hazard like last night and yesterday.

On to my 2nd cup of coffee.
When you are manic to do cut back on your coffee intake?
Looking back over the past several years I have had episodes before during and after the event. Never reached mania so that is good.
I am not going to florida with my family this coming march. Just can't handle that....My mother turns 80 this year. Feb 3rd...need to come up with something special for her.
I never did tell jeff that I was hypo. He doesn't see it.
Or rather we don't talk about it.
Maybe he does see it, Maybe I will ask him at lunch today. Chicken and sausage gumbo. yum.
Have a good day yall.
bizi

[bizi]

I had a pamper day at the aveda school.
started with a $10 donation for breast cancer and got a spin on the prize wheel.
I won a 90 minute facial. So I asked if I could schedule it right after my hair color and
they said yes. so that was awesome.
My new student was great for my retouch of color, my grays look high lighted so that is good. I do an overall high light 2 times a year.
So my facial included arms legs feet and hands massage in addition to the facial which included your chest are as well(decolletage) . She was very good and took her time, it went over 90 minutes and I felt pampered. Self care! The only thing is when I went home there was white areas on my face that should not have been there. I called and spoke to the supervisor and reported saying that I should have been given a mirror and she said that I should have. She was going to talk to the student about it and thanked me profusely for calling.
These are students after all. I still feel like I have been pampered all after noon.
I am very happy with the student who did my hair. She was efficient and I will have her the next 2 months at least depending upon when she graduates . So I am happy with that.
Jeff went to the festival and had fun. Some lady asked him to dance. He had fun.
bizi

[Nammu]

Ooo that sounds nice. I'm treating myself next month and having a spa day on my birthday. Ya only turn 60 once!

[bizi]

discounted root touch up hair color= $35, $10 tip= $45 for hair stylist.
$10 donation for breast cancer= free 90 minute facial, $10 tip=$20 for facial.
$65 for 4 hours of pampering....priceless.
bizi

[bizi]

I have this little shower cap from a hotel that I used today to take a shower today. worked great! I took a shower in little time. Maybe I will shower more often now???


Had breakfast at the hub city dinner like usual. Had a cajun sausage omelette with sauteed mushrooms, peppers and onions, with a side of grits and a wonderful grilled biscuit. Had bloody maries with breakfast.


Then we went to a festival today here called festival acadiens and creoles.
Bought a few items: a metal fleur de le with a carved wooden red heart in the middle. Kelly Guidry is the artist and we have admired his work for over a decade. Have always wanted something of his so this stuck out and today was the day. I have no idea where to put it. It is medium size. In the office, I think it should go next to the large picture of jackson square with the cathedral...horse and buggy's present with ladies and gents. Every one wore hats, even the children..

I will try to take a picture once we hang the art work...
Tonight we go to our friends house for dinner. Paul's girl friend from hong kong is cooking. We bought him some cajun coasters since he has been using his ex's ones the last time we were there. These are brightly colored campbell soup cans with louisiana crawfish coming out of the top of the can.

He will like them.

bizi

[bizi]

I drank too much today.
Need to get back to my abstinence tomorrow thru thursday.
when am I going to give up alcohol for good???
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I drank too much today.
Need to get back to my abstinence tomorrow thru thursday.
when am I going to give up alcohol for good???
bizi

You will give up alcohol completely if/when you are ready to do so.
Not until then.

Why do you think you should give it up?


WC

[bizi]

I had 14 drinks over the course of the day and never felt drunk.
We can't afford to drink this much.
It is bad for my health and weight.
I stopped by fat pats on the way home and had 2 beers.
hubby did not know...that is I don't think so.
bizi
My plan was to not drink monday thru thursday.
so much for my plan.
bizi
now I have eaten half a box of bottle caps candy.
sigh
was on the computer so much last night....sigh
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( bizi ))))))

Thinking of you.


WC

[bizi]

will not be posting....

[downandlonely]

What's going on Bizi?

I hope you can start cutting back on the alcohol. Maybe that would be easier than giving it up completely. Or maybe try AA (although I hear mixed things about that. Some people love it, and some hate it).

[BeyondtheRainbow]

are you ok?

[bizi]

I am having a hard time with balance.
I have an addictive personality.
food
alcohol
internet
I need to take a break from social media, forums, face book, etc.
I have been on here for hours which is not healthy.
Thank you for your support.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

You will be missed.

Please do whatever is best for you.

Please take care, bizi.

Much Love,
WC

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by bizi

will not be posting....

[bizi]

I am sorry that I have been absent.
I have been on the computer so much.

I thought by signing off/taking a break that I would be on the computer less.
So I said I would take a break from all of the forums that I post on.
So what happened instead is that I spent hours on face book.

no better....
So here I am back after one week being gone.
I also felt like a failure because I was not making good strides in self care.
My drinking has increased.
My weight has gone up.
I am not taking my vitamins like I should.
Am eating some junk food although That is somewhat under control.
I was getting down on myself.
I am so over weight....I could scream.
My drinking has got to stop.
I just bought 2 -4packs of a beer that I like. It is called ghost in the machine. A local brewery beer with a high percentage alcohol content.

We have done several halloween things that I half forget because I drank so much....
sigh
We are having a friend over for dinner tomorrow night Talapia lemon pepper and a big salad.
thursday night am going to a musical chicago with my girl friend melissa.
She is a therapist and I hide my drinking from her.
Friday night is the university symphony concert where the members will be dressed in costumes.
I am bringing a new friend of mine. Her name is karen. She does not drive.
So we are picking her up at 6;30, concert starts at 7;30 but we want to get there in plenty of time to get a seat. doors open at 7pm.

She is a new friend of mine that I met at sandras health food cafe.
We eat together 3-4 times per week for the past 3 weeks.
I really like her.
She has a photographic mind and tells interesting stories of her life.
She has a history of people abandoning her.
I really like her and want to help her if I can.
I brought her a satsuma orange today. She had never had one.
She needs a recliner she is on her bed in her living room.
She has chronic fatigue syndrome and lot so of allergies.

Brings her own soap to wash her hands with.
Unfortunately, she found some things in her food so that she is limited in what she can eat.
She is a vegetarian and gluten free.
I really feel like I can/ want to help her.
She says that I am the first person to really listen to her.
That made me feel sad for her. I have hugged her twice since I have met her. She is someone to eat lunch with she is there 3-4 times a week.
I can't imagine not being able to drive. She lives in public housing and lives below the poverty level. She depends upon handicapped transportation and has to schedule rides 2 weeks in advance. and she can't schedule more than one day....each day she has to call in for the next 2 weeks. I don't know how she does this.
She has been back here since august first. She lived with her mother a month before moving to her new apartment september 1st. I don't know how she did that because her mother abused her her whole life.

Any way.
I like her and want to help her.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Welcome back, Angel!
I have faith in you.
You were missed!

WC

[bizi]

Thank you my dear!
Have a great day!
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

I know you are practicing self-care by spending less time on the internet.
Just want to tell you I am missing you!
I hope this finds you well!

Much Love,

WC

[bizi]

Thank you WC,
I will post more tonight.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Bizi ))))))))

[bizi]

Thursday night The chicago musical was great!
The friday night halloween orchestra concert was wonderful, I brought Karen my new friend with us and she loved it!.
I plan to ask her to go with us this saturday for the choral concert.
Saw a couple of clients on saturday.
Laundry is always sunday. Did some paper work billing.
today had 2 cancellations so went and got my nails done with a gel polish clear they look so good! They always do a good job and charge too little so I always tip them really well. Had lunch with Karen and then visited with paula a bit with her grand daughter stella. She is so sweet.

good to see them.
Jeff is needing the computer so I will sign off.
Hugs to those who need them.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[Victoria'smom]

I'm glad you are making friends and have so many activities going on. Just remember you need to take care of yourself too to be a good friend.