Wallowing

Ever just feel like wallowing in misery? It's so easy to do. Just sit there and do nothing and feel like ****. I've been in some kind of therapy since 2001. I know all the coping skills. But yet I just sat there, till I forced myself to do something. Now I feel fine. Why is it so hard to motivate to do stuff that you know will make you feel better? It's not like I don't know what to do. ugh. lame.

Hear ya!

It's hit or miss. Opposite action and all that. It does help. Same way showers feel good, yet sometimes feel like a herculean task to motivate for...

I'm glad you forced yourself to get up and do something! Yea!

Hmm. If I feel like you've described Moreta, I would tend to call it depression. I think you're being awfully rough on yourself.

So sorry. I hate being depressed. You are doing good motivating yourself to do something at least. I tend to want to stay in bed or lie on the couch. Some days my husband really gets frustrated with it and will prompt me into doing something, though even that is 50/50 whether it helps me feel better or not.

Idk if I'd call it depression, maybe a mini depression. I feel a lot better now. Sometimes I just have to get over myself and put my big girl panties on. One therapist I had said it's ok to feel down and to just sit with it for a while. Don't view it as a negative emotion. Everyone gets down at some point. I had a very stressful morning. I went to church to count the offering and the other person that was supposed to count with me didn't show up then I couldn't find someone to count with me. I ended up asking the usher coordinator that was ushering today. I'm glad I can do all the paperwork in my sleep since I've been counting the offering for a few years now. My mind was a bit chaotic. Then the bank on the deposit ticket wasn't actually the bank you take it to cause they changed the name so that was a panic. I finally found the minister and asked her. I don't take the deposit to the bank ever so I hope I took it to the right bank. By the end I smelled horrible cause I had a hot flash and was sweating all over the place. So embarrassing. I just came home and crashed. I hate that I can't handle stressful situations well. I kept it mostly together at church. It didn't help that they didn't take up the offering till 11:30 cause the sermon went so long. Most people left after the sermon. Apparently it was a question and answer thing. I sat out in the lobby today cause my back was already acting up and the chairs in the fellowship hall make my back hurt. ugh. people are so unreliable. My husband says the same thing cause he works with volunteers as well and some don't show up either.

Anyways. That was my day. I crashed till about 4:30. Came home and put on a movie about Malcolm X. Probably not the best thing to put on when depressed already. After the movie decided to get motivated. Have been watching videos from this youtube channel since Infinite Waters. His videos help me.