[Victoria'smom]

Well Miguel’s depressed. He refuses meds until he gets re-diagnosed. Which I can understand but he refuses to see a therapist too. He’s sleeping all the time and refusing to take showers. He will literally sit on the toilet and run the shower vs. actually just showering. It took us three hours today of fighting get him in the actual shower. Now he’s refusing to get dressed.

He’s also has grabbed my wrist to take his phone back from me yesterday. Why did I take his phone? Because it was 3:30 pm and he refused to get up and yelling at me. He hasn’t gotten physical with me in many years. Now he’s 6’2” and almost 200 lbs he can’t be doing that. We’re trying to be very understanding bed by midnight up by 3 pm. I know that’s a long time but I’m sure he’s up after midnight and awake by 3 but it’s an argument just to get him to put his feet on the ground. So we put it off. He can’t hurt himself (besides picking and scratching) because everything is hidden (sharp objects and pills) except the steak knives.

I don’t know what to do with / for him. Is this normal teen rebellion or is it depression?

It doesn't sound good to me. I can't possibly diagnose Miguel, but it sounds like some depressions I've had. Whether it is bipolar-based or social/other-related is best determined with the help of a psychiatrist and/or therapist. I don't think that's normal teen behavior.

Hugs to Miguel, you and the rest of your family.

[Victoria'smom]

He's going to be re-evaluated starting in December but I don't know what to do with him for now. All his current clinic does is give him the same medication over. He tries for about a week or less then refuses it. Now he's just refusing it all. He's throwing a hissy fit right now because I told him to take melitonin and work on drivers ed until he gets tired.

[Tucson]

Sounds like depression to me, and the anger that can come with it. IMO this is not normal for teenagers. But who knows? Hormones may be playing a role.

[Victoria'smom]

Any idea on how to help without enabling him? This is so tiring.

[Pookyl]

There’s depression and then there’s bad behaviour.
I can only speak of my own children’s past behaviour. My daughter in particular was a shocker.
Her behaviour only improved once my hubby and I stopped treating her as ‘special’ and started treating her as normal.

[Victoria'smom]

I have no other kids to compare him to so I don't know if I'm treating him "special" or normal.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I have no other kids to compare him to so I don't know if I'm treating him "special" or normal.

In honesty, having had two kids who both rebelled it’s hard to know. All we as mums can do is our best.
My commiserations.

[Victoria'smom]

So we've decided that we are going to order all of his psych records (pdoc only) from the time we were in WV to now. We'll need it for his appointment in December. However the short report from testing in WV will show him that he was/is dx.'d properly with something. It's not like their pulling things out of thin air. That he truly does have something that may require medication.

We're then going to take the two short reports (he's been to two clinics his whole life) and take them to his current Pnurse with a list of accommodations he needs for testing. By then hopefully we can convince my son to take medication. We're going to ask for an SSRI alone for the picking and depression. We may leave with 2-3 meds probably (he tried SSRI alone and almost ended up in iop/hospital) but it's worth a shot for him to feel heard. Maybe after being on meds a little he'll be willing to start therapy.

Our other option is to move back to clinic 1 who was always loosing pdocs but we'll get fresh eyes. I really don't know what to do. This is all so complicated.

[~Christina]

Sounds like it might be a small part teenage hormones but more likely to whatever label he winds up with...

As for forcing him to take meds ? Yeah that wont work, If he really losses it then IP might be needed whether he or you like it or not.

When your in a bad way you just check out and put your head phones on and stay in bed... Right now why cant he check out and take a break ? He sees you doing it... Maybe that bothers him ?? I dunno just food for thought...

Sometimes its best to just let a person be and not have to get up or do xyz ..

[Victoria'smom]

If he really losses it then IP might be needed whether he or you like it or not. I'm known not to be able to tell when it is safe to "ride it out" at home or when IP is needed. I know if he injures himself bad enough to require stitches then yeah but besides that I'm lost.

I'm trying not to bother him but when you smell you need to shower. He can only get away with that for about a day. I'm perfectly fine with him laying on the couch or using headphones in the living area but I don't want him completely isolated even if he's being an ***. Maybe I should lay off him. He has to do driver's ed or he'll get kicked out. The teacher already messages us every other day how he should have finished the course by now.

[Victoria'smom]

He did better today. He got up at 4 pm and held a conversation with us about school. He didn't fight at dinner time or when doing the dishes. I would love if he would shower but I'm not going to push it. He didn't fight when taking melitonin.

[Victoria'smom]

He's taking his medication again. I'm not holding my breath. He sat down and chose his school books for the year. So I have to order them and hope they are in by the 13th. Now he's hanging with his cousins. So that's a victory. I'm going to push for a shower tonight. I just don't want to cause a fight.