oh, God I think I am mixed

Really, does God hate me? Lately, I feel he does. I get nothing but continual bad things happening to me. I posted on a FB private eating disorders recovery group about feeling bad about not exercising today, and this one woman took over the conversation going on and on and on about how sucky her life is. And then when a mod told her to be supportive or not say anything at all or post her problems in a different post, the woman replied, "I am worse than her. When it comes to my health hon." The mod muted her for now. God knows I needed that drama. I'm crying and panicky and feeling extra fat thanks to that woman.

Oh, yeah. And I think I'm mixed. I'm glad I'm seeing the pdoc on Monday as well as the PCP.

They need to add mixed to the mood choice, though I'm not sure it's really a mood, but is bookworm a mood too? Well, I'll leave it at anxious for now.

I am sorry this has happened to you today.
This can be a problem on the internet. People can have lots of needs and lots of opinions.

Do you usually have a plan for when you realize you are mixed?
Do you call pdoc, add/change meds, etc.?

I am sorry you have so much on your plate at once.
I'd feel pretty overwhelmed, too, in your shoes.

Keep posting if it helps.


WC

Thanks, WC. It may help a little. My one sister I can talk to has 3 girls 7 & under and is a stay-at-home mom. Her girls start school on Monday, so her house is sure to be chaos.

My other sister got the worse ACL tear her surgeon had ever seen repaired yesterday, is crying in pain because her pain medication is not working, and her husband's step-mother passed away last night. I can't put more on her plate.

My mom doesn't get it. She just doesn't.

My husband doesn't get bipolar mixed. He doesn't really even get hypomania, let alone mixed.

Pdoc's cell phone number is on my cell phone, and I will use it if I need to (but I hope I don't).

I hate mixed episodes with a passion. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this right now, and that your family is in crisis. I'm fortunate that my family has some understanding of my illness. Definitely call your pdoc if you feel it getting to bad. That's what they are there for, to help you feel better and manage your illness.

Hopefully tomorrow is better or you. Please call your pdoc Monday if not.

I hope you feel a bit better soon, cln

I'm feeling a bit better this morning, but I'm not sure how the day will go. I'm a little more settled, shut off the early alarm and slept more, actually getting a full 8 hours of sleep. Well, 7 hr. 55 minutes, but I'll count that as 8 hr. Sleep helps my moods so much.

My husband came home from work more optimistic yesterday, and that helped me a lot too. At this point, we still do have options. There are people he can contact to ask about better paying jobs, one person who said at a recent wedding my husband attended that he needs to hire a person to do data analysis for his business. He said it as an off-hand comment, but my husband said he does seem to have money & a good company, and my husband can totally do data analysis. The couple that got married are coming here to do role-playing games with miniatures with my husband this evening (one of hubby HUGE hobbies). It can be costly, but my husband has not spent much money on this in years. He has been molding his own miniatures for the games and painting them, and the cost for that is not beyond the realm of a person having a hobby like painting. Anyway, he plans to ask the couple if that guy was serious; they actually live with him in his very large house, where much role playing goes on. It would really be good if hubby to visit them more often because he needs to unwind.

He knows someone from his time at a nanofab facility who was needing to hire an electron microscope tech for the Texas area. It would mean a lot of traveling and over night stays but would pay better. My husband can totally do that too. I do not exaggerate when I say he is brilliant and has taught himself so much, highly advanced math, complex physics, CAD, programming in many computer languages (if it exists, he can easily learn it if need be), 3D printing, laser cutting, and then he is very artistic too. Making miniatures is just the tip of the iceberg for him. He even joined an area blacksmithing group from Houston - another hobby (the annual cost is only $25), they provide everything else and has made so many good looking projects, and he hasn't even done that for a year yet. I could go on. The only thing he is not good at is spelling. It might be a mild form of dyslexia, but he can read books just fine and enjoys reading history and historical fiction as well as sci-fi.

There are a couple of other contacts he has. If no job emerges, he said it is better we face the problem now than kick it down the road a month or 2 and disrupting everything and still not getting by, such as selling the house and moving into someplace cheaper, or renting it if need be. There are places we can live with family, my parents for example although my dad drives him crazy, my grandmother though her house is tiny & she is in her mid-80s (only this past year has her health diminished), but I could help her with her house, cooking, feeding her chickens, taking care of her plants. I could do that even if living with my parents. My parents do own an 80 acre farm land area passed down from my father, but they are barely making it themselves, have 0 retirement; selling the farm is there retirement. My dad is self-employed and 64 already, and business has gone down. There is a very rundown house they rent on the farm. Needs tons of work done on it, but it's a possibility, and it has survived many hurricanes & tropical storms, so that is to it's benefit. Failing that, should we sell or rent our house, maybe we could afford a mobile home, which my parents would let us put on the property right at any time as they don't need to sell it just yet, and it could be sold with 1 acre less. There is oil on the property but too deep yet to get to for the the cost. Oil companies have gone out and surveyed it, paid my grandmother (before she passed) very well to search for it.

One of my sisters owns a giant house in Plano. She could not help us financially, but there is space that we could have 1 large room there, her guest room, and we would be in a house with my 2 nephews.

There are a lot of teaching jobs in a nearby school district as Houston sprawl is spreading out towards that area more & more & family farms are breaking up. Or he could probably make some money (not great) working for the husband of one of my aunts (my dad's sister) whose husband does gigantic cotton farming, and he is a good guy.

So we wouldn't go homeless.

My mood is still a little up now though. Having my husband go through these options at least make me feel a little better. Especially if we moved near my parents, my daughter would go to the same school district I did (growing now though from being a small school), but it is an excellent school district, one of the best in the state. So there is that too.

My husband is also bright; yet, has difficulties with spelling. He is improving his spelling all of the time.

I am thrilled you have options.

I hope you have a good day/weekend.
Thinking of you.

WC

I'm glad you have options.