[Unrigged64072835]

I'm ready to kick our range, but it wouldn't be worth the explanation at the ER. We've planned for a new one next month, though. Patience... Also, who bought all the slow cookers? It was like football season started and everybody and their dog needed a new slow cooker for their chili or something. Both the supermarket and Target were wiped out. I found a manual one on Amazon, so thanks be for online commerce.

Very sore from doing all the housework. I need to clean bathrooms but it hurts to bend. Still have two loads of laundry to finish, including the dreaded sheets. At least my husband mopped some of the floors. He hates not being more helpful, but he can't do too much until he's done with the heart monitor thing.

Still paying for yesterday...I'm not eating much today but having a wicked case of heartburn. Go figure. We were so full we didn't even have dinner last night. Wonder what gut flora I pissed off now.

Emotionally I'm meh. Not depressed but not excited either.

All my virtual love and hugs from this little keyboard.

[Pookyl]

Been in pain for 4 days now. Bone deep aching pain that no med has touched. Even lying in bed hurts.
My physio is 10min walk away and I can’t even get myself there.

[Blueberrybook]

Did something I thought worthy of checking in about while I was doing/had done it,but now, I can't even remember what is was. Something after lunch but clueless about it.

Welcome to my life.

I am so tired of this forgetfulness. I used to be able to remember a grocery list with 100 items or more on it. I'd get everything, check the written list and not have missed a thing. Now I go into the store needing 3 items and walk out with only 1 thing, having forgotten the other 2 walking from my car into the store.

[yellow_fleurs]

My brain is yelling my past mistakes at me, asking me why I didn't know better, do better? I feel irritable and agitated, generally on edge. My phone made a new message noise

Possible trigger:

and it made me want to punch myself, which is odd that I would react so strongly. In fact I did quickly punch myself once then stopped myself today but not because of the message sound. It was almost like a reflex. Also been digging my nails into my skin more frequently due to general mental and physical discomfort.

On a positive note I cleaned, made dinner and saw a friend today.

I woke up around 2 am and haven't wanted to sleep since. It's now almost 4 am. I did some chores and had a small bowl of low fat granola and a small glass of low sugar OJ. I'm thinking of making a Dutch Baby for a later breakfast.

I was so extremely tired last night that I went to bed at maybe 9 or 9:30 pm, but that is only no more than five hours of sleep. My body clock is off.

yesterday I destroyed one of my absolute favorite cds. well, the anger/ depression had no where to go, so it went in to scratching up what is one of my favorite albums.

I feel bad about it now, because now I can't get a new copy delivered until October- but I think that's partrly why I did it- just to go online and order another one (I like ordering stuff hah!)

my dinner sucked last night, and I actually still can't get the taste out of my mouth. that's how bad it was

didn't sleep

today I need to fix one of my drawers

part of it collapsed, but right now too busy with overeating, so..

[wildflowerchild25]

I got an appt with my spine dr for tomorrow so we can figure out what to do. I looked up Vicodin and it interacts with haldol so I won’t be able to take that. Looks like Percocet does too so I don’t think I’ll be able to take anything for pain. I don’t want opiates anyway but I need something. But I guess I’ll just tough it out like I have been.

Didn’t talk to my boyfriend all weekend. He never texted me back. Go figure. I’m about ready to break up with him honestly. I don’t feel the same connection to him now that we haven’t been seeing each other or talking as often. And honestly I’m mad that he won’t text me back. I get that we can’t see each other but I know you’re not too busy to just send a text saying you miss me or something. I’m not asking for much. I don’t deserve to be forgotten about.

Hmmmph.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I woke up around 2 am and haven't wanted to sleep since. It's now almost 4 am. I did some chores and had a small bowl of low fat granola and a small glass of low sugar OJ. I'm thinking of making a Dutch Baby for a later breakfast.

I was so extremely tired last night that I went to bed at maybe 9 or 9:30 pm, but that is only no more than five hours of sleep. My body clock is off.

My sleep is screwy too. I go to bed at like 10 and wake up around 3. It's sucky. I feel your pain.

Part of my problem is my nose condition where I have to elevate my head. That makes it uncomfortable to sleep.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I got an appt with my spine dr for tomorrow so we can figure out what to do. I looked up Vicodin and it interacts with haldol so I won’t be able to take that. Looks like Percocet does too so I don’t think I’ll be able to take anything for pain. I don’t want opiates anyway but I need something. But I guess I’ll just tough it out like I have been.

Didn’t talk to my boyfriend all weekend. He never texted me back. Go figure. I’m about ready to break up with him honestly. I don’t feel the same connection to him now that we haven’t been seeing each other or talking as often. And honestly I’m mad that he won’t text me back. I get that we can’t see each other but I know you’re not too busy to just send a text saying you miss me or something. I’m not asking for much. I don’t deserve to be forgotten about.

Hmmmph.

I know everyone is different, but I had Vicodin for my wisdom teeth removal and all it did was make me feel drunk and nauseous. I needed Zofran before I vomited everywhere from that stuff. Ibuprofen was much, much more effective.

[Blueberrybook]

Not doing well this morning. Very anxious. i couldn't run after taking my morning meds after Protonix (around 1 hr later).

I had trouble with balance, slurring speech again. I don't know if it's the Protonix with all those meds acting up or the morning meds acting up on their own, but I've been on them a these meds several months now without problems, except the Wellbutrin, that was like a month ago, but the only other AD that's worked for me is Effexor, and that is so hard to come off. Maybe I could ask the pdoc for a different AD if he feels I need one. I feel I need one. I start wanting to sleep all day, think about SI (but don't do it), have more wishes I were dead, don't do a thing all day, etc. But the last time I tried a bushel of ADs was in the early 2000s, so there might be something new out there now. Or going back on the Cymbalta awhile since it helped me in the past. Hurt my body a ton getting off it because it is also used (lower doses) to treat fibromyalgia.

To complicate matters, I had a horrid sinus headache and took Tylenol right after the morning meds before eating. When I started looking up drug interactions, OMG, so many of my morning meds can react with acetminophen, the main ingredient in Tylenol. Probably I should take them with food in the future and not an empty stomach and avoid the Tylenol. Most meds even have a bit of interaction with caffeine, but I don't know if I can go without morning coffee.

I just didn't want to run or jog feeling so off balance; it was lucky I felt OK enough to drive my daughter to school (which thankfully is about a 5 minute drive).

I'm feeling mostly better now, tired though. I think I'm going to put some lavender in my essential oils diffuser, make a cup of chamomile tea, lie down and read and hopefully catch a nap. Only 5 hours of sleep last night, good if you are fighting mania but not good for me at all.

never fixed the drawer

through myself on the bed and watched a winnie the pooh movie, and a new gameshow

trust me to waste the day..

I am SICK of this constipation. It won't go away no matter what. I'm irritated because of this.

I drink a lot of water and I STILL can't take a dump, despite taking stool softeners (which, btw, say they're supposed to induce a bowel movement between 12-72 hours). My dr was wrong.

I know I'm drinking enough water because my pee is clear, so what gives???

Ugh. I think I need an Rx for this. I've tried everything. The only things that work are stimulant laxatives, and those are dangerous for long-term use. Stupid meds. They've ruined my poop.

Sorry for tmi, but this sucks.

[tecomsin]

bluebicycle, sorry you are having this problem. I also have problems with constipation. What helps me to stay regular is to drink a small cup of kefir everyday. I get the plain kind and add a bit of chocolate protein powder to it as I find the flavoured ones are too sweet. Kefir has a much higher concentration of probiotics than yoghurt. You can also buy the organisms in pill form but I find I tolerate the kefir the best because I can change how much I am drinking depending on how things are going...

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I am SICK of this constipation. It won't go away no matter what. I'm irritated because of this.

I drink a lot of water and I STILL can't take a dump, despite taking stool softeners (which, btw, say they're supposed to induce a bowel movement between 12-72 hours). My dr was wrong.

I know I'm drinking enough water because my pee is clear, so what gives???

Ugh. I think I need an Rx for this. I've tried everything. The only things that work are stimulant laxatives, and those are dangerous for long-term use. Stupid meds. They've ruined my poop.

Sorry for tmi, but this sucks.

You may need to get things moving with an enema?

[Moose72]

I had therapy today. Made a list of things to do when im feeling paranoid. Case manager called but i didnt understand her so she said to call her when i got to the pharmacy. But! She didnt answer; I called twice. So the pharmacist and I had to make due with what we knew and I hope we're right. So instead of 4 weeks of blister packs at a time I now go in weekly in case pdoc changes something.

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry if I am a mess today. Before I went to lie down and rest, I got the mail. Stupid $1700 bill there for being taken to the psych ER and assessed. I was not given a choice. Well, let me put it 2 ways; I was told I could walk out to the police car with them willingly or get handcuffed. So I chose the first option. They took forever evaluating me on the psych ER and released me to H with no hold.

I called today about the bill, was told I need to drive there and sign a paper to clear it up. This is in the Houston medical center. I get panic attacks driving there. I can’t drive there. I lost it to the person on the phone, yelling lots of f words. She said they were open until 6; couldn’t H and my daughter drive there then? No. By the time we get home from school (she needs the bathroom and such), it is after 4 PM. That would be the driving in rush hour traffic hoping they get there in time. I can’t make H stay home from work over something so stupid, and we do not even have $1700 to pay. It was either scream or sob on the phone, and I wasn’t thinking, that’s a psych ER, so hopefully I don’t get another ride there.

I called the local police (yes, used non-emergency number) once I calmed down, but the lady at the desk couldn’t help me. She took down my info for a sergeant to call. I hope he just calls and does not just show up here. I am about to lose it completely, break down into tears

[Moose72]

BBB,

I hate bills with a passion! After my last hospitalization for Delerium i got a bill for about what yours is. I did the same as you: freaked and declared I cant pay this. But i showed it to a dr who says it wasnt a bill?? Sure damn looked like one to me! You'll get it figured out- even if that means a payment plan of $10 a month.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Sorry if I am a mess today. Before I went to lie down and rest, I got the mail. Stupid $1700 bill there for being taken to the psych ER and assessed. I was not given a choice. Well, let me put it 2 ways; I was told I could walk out to the police car with them willingly or get handcuffed. So I chose the first option. They took forever evaluating me on the psych ER and released me to H with no hold.

I called today about the bill, was told I need to drive there and sign a paper to clear it up. This is in the Houston medical center. I get panic attacks driving there. I can’t drive there. I lost it to the person on the phone, yelling lots of f words. She said they were open until 6; couldn’t H and my daughter drive there then? No. By the time we get home from school (she needs the bathroom and such), it is after 4 PM. That would be the driving in rush hour traffic hoping they get there in time. I can’t make H stay home from work over something so stupid, and we do not even have $1700 to pay. It was either scream or sob on the phone, and I wasn’t thinking, that’s a psych ER, so hopefully I don’t get another ride there.

I called the local police (yes, used non-emergency number) once I calmed down, but the lady at the desk couldn’t help me. She took down my info for a sergeant to call. I hope he just calls and does not just show up here. I am about to lose it completely, break down into tears

Can you ask them to mail the paper for you to sign and mail back? Be careful calling and talking to police whilst the cps investigation is still open. Has it been closed?

Blueberrybook, I think psych-related bills are downright evil. My husband and I went from being comfortable financially to being in debt for years, because of them. We are thinking about moving to Europe. Financial ruin as a result of medical bills is not generally an issue in most countries there.

Maybe I've been a little too "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay" these last couple of days. I'm a real regular on Reddit.com's cooking subreddit. Yesterday someone wrote that I seemed so enthusiastic about something I wrote that I seemed "mad", meaning super excessively upbeat. Maybe a month ago, someone on that subreddit wrote that I seemed "unhinged". No one there knows I have a mental illness. I wonder if this should concern me. I asked hubby about it, and as usual, he tells me I'm just fine. Sometimes when I'm super charged "up" he gives me an "Uh, oh!" Or as I wrote in another thread, he starts to get extremely anxious or upset, sometimes even to the point of crying. I do feel I have much more insight into my illness than I used to, but maybe it's still not 100%. Anyway, having to question myself is a little disconcerting.

[wildflowerchild25]

Well my boyfriend got back to me. Apparently his grandma died and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk. I can understand that. But now I’m upset because that’s how my last relationship ended. The guy’s grandma died and he just ghosted me. Now NV and I have been together a lot longer than the other guy and I were so I hope he doesn’t just ghost out on me but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the end. But I’m just going to give him his space and then see if he still wants to talk to me later.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Well my boyfriend got back to me. Apparently his grandma died and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk. I can understand that. But now I’m upset because that’s how my last relationship ended. The guy’s grandma died and he just ghosted me. Now NV and I have been together a lot longer than the other guy and I were so I hope he doesn’t just ghost out on me but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the end. But I’m just going to give him his space and then see if he still wants to talk to me later.

I hope he will come through for you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

I am having a rough day, with med changes and with sleep deprivation.
Am very down. H is also very down. My illness is bringing him down.

Love to All!

WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

Can you ask them to mail the paper for you to sign and mail back? Be careful calling and talking to police whilst the cps investigation is still open. Has it been closed?

The good news is the CPS case is almost closed. Caseworker says she sent it to her supervisor to review. Almost done with that.

H says we are not paying that hospital bill. The police came and got me, gave me no choice but to go. We got there, I told the officer I needed the bathroom. Worker there said it would be another 30 to 45 minutes waiting in the police car. Finally get in, I repeat the bathroom request , officer nearly sends me there, psych ER sends me to sit on a bench. They tell the officer to handcuff me to the bench. I mention again I really, really need the bathroom , officer says it won’t be long. I wait other 30 to 45 minutes for a pdoc to show up who says uncuff me from the bench, I think I had to answer a bunch of intake questions too, THEN I finally get the bathroom.

And I am supposed to pay $1700 for that? It wasn’t my choice, and they didn’t let me use the restroom for ages. It was so uncomfortable. It’s a wonder I.did pee my pants. Will call insurance tomorrow, and if they won’t pay, H says we should threaten with a malpractice suit because really, that put me under a ton of duress. That was God awful uncomfortable.

Yep, asked for the paper to be mailed for the fees to be waived and no. I will ask again tomorrow, what if I sign them with a notary present. I have BP and panic disorders, both considered disabilities. I cannot drive downtown without a 95% chance of a panic attack. H can’t take off work. They are open until 6 and had the gall to suggest H pick daughter up from school p, take her on at least a 1.5 hr drive in rush hour traffic (no fast offs if she needs the bathroom), causing a 3 hr delay before she can start her homework? And even then, it is not 100% he can make the drive and park before they close at 6.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

The good news is the CPS case is almost closed.

H says we are not paying that hopital bill. The police came and got me, gave me no choice but to go. We got there, I told the officer I needed the bathroom. Worker there said it would be another 30 to 45 minutes waiting in the police car. Finally get in, I repeat the bathroom request , officer nearly sends me there, psych ER sends me to sit on a bench. They tell the officer to habpndcuff me to the bench. I mention again I really, really need the bathroom , officer says it won’t be long. I wait other 30 to 45 minutes for a pdoc to show up who says uncuff me from the bench, I think I had to answer a bunch of intake questions too, THEN I finally get the bathroom.

And I am supposed to pay $1700 for that? It wasn’t my choice, and they didn’t let me use the restroom for ages. It was so uncomfortable. It’s a wonder I.did pee my pants. Will call insurance tomorrow, and if they won’t pay, H says we should threaten with a malpractice suit because really, that put me under a ton of duress. That was God awful uncomfortable.

I agree with you. You/your insurance should not have to pay for this bill. someone else had initiated the use of these services.
It's bad enough an investigation was launched.


WC