OMG, now CPS showed up!!

The names depend on which province you are in. There are a number of overlapping government programs for intervention in people's home on behalf of children. one is cps.

I know my posts here are desperate, as our situation becomes less and less stable, and more and more charities and helpful calls you've been linked to tell, you no, they can't help. I worked on it for 2 weeks straight and probably should have taken some breaks. Maybe, maybe the CPS worker can help me find someone to navigate me through the state forms for disability. I have a strong suspicion that ESL and in this area Spanish first language people get actual personal help with these forms.

The state disability form will tell you to submit documented info that you can't work. I ask my psychiatrist about it. He says give me a form and a number to fax it to. But they don't have a disability form easy to find anywhere for the state, much less a number to fax it to. I'm going to give it time then maybe call the state. But I can't work on that just yet; the CPS thing has me in a tizzy.

Fortunately, we all interviewed with the CPS woman outside as we have a bench right next to the front door. I have heard not to let them in your house should they find something (and in my case, it would be easy to find I've got prescription bottles for Klonopin & hydroxyzine in my purse for anxiety attacks) and a bottle of low dose Seroquel out. My daughter being the way she is with medications would never touch any of my meds or take them. She still refuses to swallow pills. Should my daughter determine herself, yes, she could get a chair and get up to the top shelf of my closet where I keep my meds. And it probably doesn't look good; I have just current meds in there, but they are meds like the propranolol which I was having to cut in half until my pdoc just prescribed the lower dose or the time release Xanax I tried and didn't finish out the bottle as it made me too tired and didn't help as well as the Klonopin with panic attacks. There was another med too I think the pdoc had me cutting in half and then just finally gave me lower dose pills, but I haven't gotten rid of the old ones. I have multiple bottles of meds occurring with my pdoc switch too and 3 bottles of Lamictal because it's on mail order, stuff like that. I am always wary to throw away pill bottles lest it be an actual prescription I am currently taken and put with the wrong bottles to throw away. Maybe I need to box what needs to go when I refill, then if things are fine in a month or so and I'm not missing pills, throw the stuff in the other box away. But I once accidently threw away nearly an entire bottle of Klonopin and pdocs, pharmacies, and the state do not like that situation at all, and boy, did I get a lecture. Sometimes when your thoughts are racing, you get distracted while filling meds, things like that happen. I think I did it with trazodone once too, but that one was less of an issue, just a be more aware mini-lecture.

Still worried they will come and investigate the house, ugh. The CPS worker seemed nice enough though I didn't open the door to her until she called me on the phone because I honestly thought it looked like a home security or cable company solicitor at my door, which probably didn't win me any points, but I hate door-to-door solicitors and listening to their endless spiels.

Hopefully, this woman talks to the pdoc tomorrow. Since I already told her my diagnoses, there isn't any hiding it. She seems to want me in therapy, but I don't know. It better be free, and the place with the free stuff around here gets horrid ratings. I suppose I can find one while my insurance deductible has been run up to the max. I have looked online and don't see any nearby that look promising or if they are highly rated, they turn out to work with kids & teens, stuff like that. I'll bug my PCP's assistant tomorrow I think, asking for some referrals in the area (because really, if I have to go there weekly, I don't want a long drive). Or maybe the CPS worker will be helpful in finding one, who knows. When therapy keeps not working for you, it gets frustrating and going feels pointless and like a waste of money too. However, it might just be good to have a person to talk at about all this stuff going on in my life right now because I don't have that, and I've got a lot on my plate right now.

You have repeatedly posted that you don't want a long drive. I understand that a long drive is an inconvenience, and can be stressful. But you seem to be quite desperate for assistance, so maybe the long drive is worth it to get help.

Honestly, none of us on this forum truly know what your situation is, except by reading what you post. Whether CPS has a legitimate reason to look into your daughter's home life or not is, truthfully, unknowable to any of us on this forum.

As for Hispanic speaking people obtaining more help than you're getting - I have sat on enough social services boards in my life to disbelieve that there is discrimination against English-speaking clients. In fact, the truth is that when all is said and done American, English -speaking clients statistically end up receiving more help than any other groups do.

I would quickly get yourself into a partial hospitalization program or intensive outpatient program, like tomorrow. Even if it's an hour drive. You don't want to use the resources they have. If you need resources your case will take longer to close. The more people you have "on your side" the better. I would do anything I could to find a lawyer. I'm glad you didn't let her into your house. I would get your house straightened out best you can.

I'm still not comprehending the "get a lawyer" recommendation. If there's nothing to hide. and if everything is out in the open, why get a lawyer involved - especially because doing so is very expensive?

Did the CPS worker indicate that she would be continuing the case, or did she seem satisfied with her visit?

It's because law looks for bad guys and CPS is looking for bad guys. Lawyers help navigate the CPS system. It's just about protecting your family. I'm just saying what I would do if CPS showed up. I've seen CPS cases go bad without neglect or abuse happening in the home.

No, the case isn't just closed with 1 CPS visit. That's just the beginning. She has to talk to doctors. She has to talk to 2 references my husband gave who know I'm not a danger to my daughter. I have to have a psychological assessment done. They might do a home study. It can go on for 30 days or much longer before the case is closed.

I'm taking it as a good sign my daughter was not removed from the home and that the caseworker didn't seem to feel it was dangerous to leave me alone with her. But a lot of sites do suggest get yourself into therapy, pronto, so I'll call around tomorrow (it's the Labor Day holiday today, every place is closed) and get into official therapy.

When I mean driving for an hour, these places I'm mentioning are in Houston and usually in downtown (the Medical District). Parking is even expensive there. I get panic attacks driving into Houston and this area. There is a lot of traffic. One way streets and construction abound. It is the stuff of my nightmares and sure to cause me panic attacks. And don't talk to me about taking a bus. The closest Houston bus route commute stop is a 45 minute drive away in a congested area. There is a county bus that runs into Houston, but it does 2 stops a day - one in the morning around 7 Am and one in the afternoon after 5 PM. Traffic can get horrendous. A lot of people do not realize Houston is actually the largest city in Texas, and it is the 4th largest city in the U.S. And its urban sprawl is gigantic.

First, I've found this psychological assessment is not an immediate requirement, you can refuse, and they have to have an official court order to make you do it. That was not at all mentioned to me as a right. The first right we all had was we didn't have to talk to the caseworker without a lawyer if we wanted one. That right wasn't mentioned to us either. I want to know if they make you do this psych assessment if you can pick your own psychologist or have to go with theirs. Because I'd rather pick my own. I've heard they make these assessments long and tricky on purpose.

I am glad to read you are doing research into your rights. It is very important to protect your rights in a situation where the downside is that your child can be taken away. I personally cannot imagine that is the right answer in your situation.

If they don't have a specific accusation of what exactly you have done wrong then they are by definition on a fishing expedition and the more information they find out the more likely it is that something can be interpreted against your interest. Also my view is that the more cases they have the more they can justify their own paid positions, their own salary and their own existence as instruments of the government. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And we all know that trying to prove one's innocence is hard.

I was using the familiar term cps to refer to all individuals who are invested by the state to come into people's homes to investigate on behalf of the children and who are ultimately part of a process that may remove children from the home. If you have ever had a bad experience in this kind of situation or heard of other people having bad experiences then one would want to be cautious. Other people might just trust the system to always work. That is their choice.

I've got my insurance provider site up with therapists with one in La Porte and several in the next closest town over. The insurance site doesn't mention therapists not accepting new clients though. All of them work with mood disorders and anxiety disorders, most with PTSD too. So I'll just start working my way down the list in the morning. If they are on my insurance website, then they should at least accept my insurance. There are 5 under 6 miles away, so hopefully, I can find one close. No one with ED specialities, but to work on that, I know I'd have to go someplace 45 minutes or so away, I'm thinking very near to the hospital I had my ulcer surgery & where my daughter was born. But I think the ED stuff is stemming from not having a healthy coping mechanism for stress, causing me to over-exercise. At any rate, I should hope starting therapy will show the CPS I am making some effort to manage my MI. I need help with the bipolar, anxiety, and stress issues; some mention CBT, and that was what I needed to do to get out of the ED stuff my first (and worst) time around, so even if none of them are ED specialists, the CBT is as good a place as any to start with the ED stuff.

And as backup, I printed out 4 pages of therapists should the Aetna site get acting weird (happens all the time) or log me out and then I'd be unable to find the right page again. It actually took some doing to find therapists this close. They wanted to start right with giving me therapists in a city called Baytown that is nearby. I will drive to Baytown, but I hate driving around there because for some reason it is very confusing, but nowhere near the nightmare of going into downtown Houston. My husband told me he found Baytown equally confusing to navigate, so in this case, it's not just me. Anyway, I found therapists starting in La Porte, and then Deer Park, which is close by and not a stressful driving situation for me. So I've got the info on paper should I lose the Aetna site/exact link.

[/QUOTE=tecomsin;6258203

If they don't have a specific accusation of what exactly you have done wrong then they are by definition on a fishing expedition and the more information they find out the more likely it is that something can be interpreted against your interest.
[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. They also did not mention a specific cause to warrant a CPS investigation, just "there might be mental health concerns".

OMG! So nothing specific. I didn't probe deeper, but next time I will. I want to know what it is exactly that makes them think I might be a danger to my child.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. They also did not mention a specific cause to warrant a CPS investigation, just "there might be mental health concerns".

OMG! So nothing specific. I didn't probe deeper, but next time I will. They didn't let me know either that I have the right to know just what the allegation is. I want to know what it is exactly that makes them think I might be a danger to my child.

My family lives in various areas of Houston so I agree with you about the traffic congestion and urban sprawl. It sounds like you are doing your homework for therapy close to you - that's great!

I know you've mentioned a few free or low cost places have horrible online reviews. Just a cautionary word that two of my doctors and one of my husband's have horrid online reviews yet they are the BEST doctors I have ever had/he has ever had. It's kind of "to each his own" so it might be worth the time and effort (as long as it's free or low cost) to try the providers out.

Your plate is overflowing - I hope you get a break soon.

This is about dealing with Texas CPS:

"If CPS is investigating you, it is because someone has reported to CPS that he or she thinks your child has been abused or neglected. You probably do not know for sure who made the report – it could have been a family member, a neighbor, a teacher, a doctor, a police officer, or even a stranger. But once a report is filed, it is CPS’s job to investigate the report to see if it is true."...

"If you do decide to talk to the investigator, she must first tell you who she is, what the report of abuse or neglect said, and what the allegations against you are. She will then ask you to tell your side of the story. "...
http://parentresourceguide.texaschil...source_guide/9

I don't know if Texas is one of the 30 states that have 'predictive neglect' laws on the book that take away 1000s of children from mentally ill people in the US each year.

Should a Mental Illness Mean You Lose Your Kid?
Mindi has never harmed her daughter and is capably raising a son, but authorities took her daughter under a concept sometimes called "predictive neglect."

Should a Mental Illness Mean You Lose Your Kid? — ProPublica

I thought every one reading this thread would find the article thought provoking.

If you need an attorney and cannot afford one, you can try "Legal Aid," or the Texas equivalent. (I have had very good luck with the lawyer from this program. He has been very bright and has won lots of cases.)

Best Wishes,


WC

Laurie,

Thanks. And I don't trust reading about my CPS rights from a state-run website.

Did I say I was going to hurt my child? No. Did I say I was going to kill myself or had an active plan? No. Did I say anything that suggested I was an a danger to my child? No. She is a healthy 10 year old girl with near perfect attendance from kindergarten through the beginning of 5th grade at her school. She is a straight A student, competes (and medals) in math competitions, is a GT student. The house is filled with her toys, tons of books, both fiction and nonfiction, many educational toys. (When my husband's mother was still living, she spoiled that girl as much as she possibly could; my daughter was her only grandchild, and it showed.) Right now, her most obvious wounds are mosquito bites. She doesn't even have a bruise from normal playing or anything.

Of course, she feels the strain we're all under with bills to pay and no money to pay them and no money to help us. And I know my mental health issues affect her too, but don't most or all parents with mental illness have to wrestle with what affects their child/children?

I really want to hire a lawyer, but we hardly have any money. And how do you quickly determine who is good and worth the money versus not when you live within driving distance of Houston, and there's another area, Webster/Clear Lake, the area NASA is located (also my pdoc) that I am sure have tons of family lawyers as well? How do you know I should go with lawyer X and not lawyer Y without much time to decide?

I think I read somewhere down the line that should you be considered too poor to afford an attorney, you can later get one, but that is down the line, saying the child has been removed from your home, you are trying to appeal the case and keep custody. But at this point, your lawyer is not free.

I took the Legal Aid attorney because that was my only alternative at the time, quite honestly. He argued in court, getting the case both sealed and thrown out twice. We won our investigation conducted by the state Human Rights Commission. Overall, won, won, won.

Some very bright attorneys work for these programs.

If you have other options, look into them.

WC

I would get a lock box for your meds. Maybe two-1 for current meds and the second for meds you are not actively taking. That would look a lot safer to the cps worker. Controlled meds being unlocked does not look good, especially with a child in the house. I know you said you are confident your daughter won't touch them but a worker is not going to see that . They will just see the potential.

I second Laurie. It's wise to consider whatever you are sharing online whenever there may be legal proceedings.

I have been in depositions where I have been asked, under oath, where I participate online and what is my screen name at any given site?

As Laurie has indicated, info shared online can come into play.

Seek counsel if possible.


WC

This was a doozy of a day. Pretty much consumed by this all day.

I'll start with small steps. Tomorrow morning, find a therapist. Start looking at lawyers. Should we hire one, my husband & I will both have to agree upon just whom to hire.

Financially, we fit into a small bracket, too much money to get help paying for a lawyer. Stretching a stretched and bursting budget more hiring a lawyer. High school teachers do not make a lot of money. Then, my husband started working on a budget and determined 31% of his paycheck never even makes it to our bank account. It's taken out for the joke of health insurance they give to teachers, dental & vision insurance, taxes, there are other thing too. So we never even see nearly 1/3 of his income.

I need to put this to rest for tonight. Maybe I can manage to read a bit, get my mind on something else. It's hard, though.

I hope you can get some deep rest.

Wc

I hope that some of that 31% is going into a pension fund for retirement.

I would focus on attorneys who give a free initial consult and then find one who is competent at the lowest price. I once had a situation where I let these people into my house and talked to them and after they said they were going to continue with the investigation, I told them I would only talk with them through a lawyer, if I were forced legally to do that.

Otherwise I refused to speak to them, except to tell them that I was not going to voluntarily cooperate anymore.

I didn't actually need to get a lawyer. They dropped the investigation. I told them I would get a lawyer when i got a written, legal demand to participate in some discussion with them. It was a witch hunt.

ps: Edited to add, I am not recommending this. Just saying what I did once to make them go away in my jurisdiction.

If you want a bigger profile on therapists check out psychology today's website. They give a bit of information beyond what I've seen insurance provide.

Why hire a lawyer ? Yeah sure CPS showed up, you cooperated. Why not wait and see ? Especially since you don’t have money for one.

This is absolutely true.