OMG, now CPS showed up!!

Getting a lawyer in this stage of the investigation is IMO really foolish in just more than one way. This investigation is very likely to go away without bad consequences. Be very cooperative. When they give you instruction, take it just as advice. I have been told that they do not have the power that they once did. Still they can cause real trouble if they have in their own mind determined that a child is in danger. IMO this should and likely will not happen. But if this happens, then I would not hesitate to get a lawyer. Also I think it will not be a good idea to not talk to them about your MI. Refer them to your pdoc.

It is easy nowadays to play the lawyer card. However, this can cause more trouble than what advantages this arrangement will provide you. Do not panic. They are not there specifically to harm you and cause you grief. They are just doing their job. Use your common sense in dealing with them. Common sense is free which is not like hiring a lawyer. Just as quick as they came, they are likely to leave after their short investigation is finished. Do not make their job harder for them, and definitely do not get confrontational or hostile with them. By the way, all of this was told to me by a lawyer who is familiar in dealing with protective services.

As a side note, all of this jumping to the conclusion of getting a lawyer...geez! There are better ways in dealing with ones problems with authority figures. It is the lawyers who become wealthy with this type of attitude by the public. I am sure some of them are laughing all of their way to the bank. IMHO Now if you believe that you are in immediate danger of losing your child, then get a lawyer.

All of this is IMHO and FWIW, along with other disclaimers.

PS In any situation, if you find a police detective at your door, I think you should not say anything at all to them. I would tell them you are getting a lawyer and close the door. A judge of all persons told this to me. Be prepared to pay the lawyer a retainer. The lawyer will not get involved in this situation without a retainer.

It is my husband's opinion too that we should hold off on a lawyer just now. My husband said if they removed my daughter from home (and that would not be easy on my daughter's part, she would not go without a fight or tears, screaming or a meltdown). That is just the way my daughter is. If it comes to that point, yes, he then feels we need a lawyer, would go to the local news, his friend who is a lawyer, I don't think family law, though the friend now lives in Chicago, so they have been out of touch awhile. It hasn't come to that point yet, so obviously they deem she is not in immediate danger. Besides, if it came to that, I'd first offer to go live with my grandmother in her spare bedroom to keep my daughter in our house with my husband to give her the least possible interruption to her schedule. My grandmother lives far enough away near my parents - around a 1.5 hour drive away (though my mother & I now have a strained relationship because her first reactions both with me having to go to the psych ER - through texts - and when we thought the CPS would not leave me with my daughter unsupervised and it would just be easiest if she stayed with us - was not to comfort and help but to blame & heap guilt on me, which didn't help me feel better in the least). It would be difficult to visit alone with my daughter especially with school in session. If that isn't far enough, I would go live with my sister near the Dallas area, and the drive between here & Plano is a good 4-6 hours. I have family support as far as I know, probably even through my mom despite the strained relationship. I told my mom, why couldn't she say, "I will look into a viable option of staying with you until CPS is satisfied you are OK alone with your daughter." She has another sister (this the aunt who didn't protect me from childhood sexual assault), so one I am not fond of her. But she doesn’t work, and my mom could tell her to get her butt down here and help take care of my grandmother. My grandmother still lives independently, but my mom takes her to doctor appointments, grocery shopping, the vet when her dog needs shots, etc. Though my husband and I would continue fighting the charges. He said he would work as hard as possible to get the story in the papers, online, in the news should that happen.

However, I think from now on, I am going to voice to the caseworker that anything CPS wants done, I want to know just what my rights as a parent are for each step they want taken. For example, this psychological assessment they want. Do I have to use their psychologist, or do I have the right to choose my own? Now, coming into the house, no, not unless they have a warrant (husband feels the same) as if they wanted to, I am sure they can find potential hazards in any home, like bleach above the washing machine, cleaning products under the sink, an untended simmering pot on the stove cooking soup because you don't tend to stand there the whole time as soups tend to have to simmer for a few hours at times.

If there is a drug test, I don't use unprescribed meds or even alcohol, the only alcohol in our home is in Listerine and cooking sherry, maybe I still have a cooking wine. But I am going to tell them the meds I'm on or can take prn can alter drug test results
(and God knows how they interact togeth) because tons of them seem they have this potential to alter drug tests, to read the brand name on the medication info sheets I looked up directly from the pharmacy producing the brand name meds about the med & drug testing, and if the insist have them consult my doctor and pharmacist and ask if even prescribed amounts of these meds can alter a drug test. Most of my meds are prescribed by the pdoc other than the Protonix (which is prescirbed by the gastro-doc and has the possible potential to give a false positive for marijuana as indicted by the Quest med lab (which is the lab my insurance uses), and fibro prn meds. I can't exactly hide the meds, they can probably consult the pdoc directly and indicated they will speak with him (though if I had a right to refuse this part of this, I want to be told what he has to disclose and if the pdoc has things he does not have to disclose by law). And who knows if they can consult my pharmacy or mail order pharmacy and if I have a right to refuse that as well? I have read you do not have to do this drug test without a court order, but then the CPS will jump to the conclusion you are probably doing drugs.
Not that there is anything to hide from pharmacy or my home info except for extra meds I might have due to the pdoc first having me cut meds in half and then prescribing me the smaller dosage or meds that ended up not working for me, like delayed release Xanax, but I do want to know what rights I HAVE to do versus what I have the right to potentially fight against.

And there are points at which the CPS can help with things. As for the free stuff, the previous poster is right. I used the version in Brazos count in Bryan, TX (near Texas A&M), and it was not bad. When I moved to Houston, I used one near the University of Houston (I was a grad student there) and did not have a positive experience with them at all. There might be one closer to this area; I suppose I can try it though I likely would be skeptical going in at first.

We all draw the line at different points, where we would get a lawyer. I do agree it is important to always be polite and calm when dealing with people who have the power to take your child away. That doesn't mean that one voluntarily agrees to do whatever they ask. You can ask them always if you have the legal right to refuse.

I am still puzzled by what legal basis they are doing the investigation as according to what I saw for the state of texas you they can only open an investigation if there has been an accusation of abuse or neglect. Is that correct? I would ask them to answer that question.

I am puzzled too about the reason or concern for CPS involvement. They did not tell me anything but "mental health concerns" which is definitely vague. Texas may be a state with the predictive assumption link someone posted earlier in this thread. Probably is, my luck. I think they have it in 30 states.

I remain in favor of allowing the worker into your home. Sit comfortably in your living room and calmly discuss the situation with her. Listen to what she has to say without being dramatic, defensive, or jumping to conclusions.
The reason I'm suggesting this is because I believe that denying access to your home arouses suspicion. Think about it. If you were a CPS worker, would you be suspicious if clients refused access to their home?

As for medication, the worker will have (or can obtain) a list of your meds. As long as they are legally prescribed, in their original bottles, and are kept safely out of reach of your daughter (up on a higher kitchen shelf, for example) there won't be any problem with your meds.

At this point, I would not expect a worker to "examine" your home - as in, I would not expect the person to go through your closets, cabinets, and so on. In my experience, CPS workers are concerned about things such as "livability" of the home - i.e., is the home sanitary and safe (not filthy with, for example, animal waste on the floor...or no running water...electrical system not dangerously rigged-up, but properly and safely used as it is intended to be used, plates of old food stinking up the house).

Another concern the worker might ask about is firearms in the home. If there are any, are the weapons kept unloaded and locked up so that the child definitely does not have access to them?

So...a CPS worker is looking for extreme examples of abuse/neglect/danger to the child. The worker is not going to call you out for having some toys on the floor, nor will she be concerned about a "normally messy" family home that looks "lived in".

I don't believe that jumping to involve a lawyer is prudent - or necessary - at this time. Not only is a lawyer expensive, I'm not clear as to what a lawyer's role would be in the current situation, as it stands right now.

I maintain that you need a therapist, cln. You have expressed some issues of serious concern on this forum, indicating to me that a therapist would be very helpful for you and for your family, too. Telling a worker that you are in therapy shows the person that you are making an effort to be in recovery. Even more powerful would be getting into family therapy (in addition to individual).

If at all possible (I know it's very challenging), stop projecting into the future with "what-ifs" and thoughts of revenge (going to the local news media, for example). Please try to let go of the dramatic and deal with what is actually happening right now, today. Take the steps that you would suggest to a friend that she take in order to bring about the best outcome for the CPS investigation. Do more listening than talking.

Again, I truly believe that by the close of office hours today you would do well to be set up with a therapist.

I am giving you the best suggestions I can come up with, based upon experience that I learned from working in social services (including working with at-risk teens and situations that frequently involved CPS) for 25 years.

I'm working on the therapy thing. May have a tentative appointment for Sept. 18. I am still waiting on another therapist to call me back.

I don't know why I have such a hard time clicking with a therapist, which is why I gave up on therapy in the first place. And then you reach a point where you have talked yourself out and are just done with it. But a lot of things that are stressful are happening to me right now, so I am going to give therapy another shot.

Right now, I am finding it difficult to concentrate on other things with this weighting so heavily on my mind. I went jogging a little, but my heart wasn't in it. It's hard to do the chores, hard to read, watch TV, just about anything without thinking about the CPS case.

Yes, of course...your reaction to this monster of a stress is normal. Still, you must think of your daughter first and show her that challenges can be met and dealt with. A therapist will help you learn how.
The important thing today is to have an appointment set up. That's the step for today. Whether or not you click with the therapist is in the future; it's something you will assess later on.

If it were me, I would show them what it says on the gov. of texas website and ask them to explain exactly on what basis they are legally allowed to investigate you. That is the kind of question that a lawyer would be able to get a clear answer to. You do have rights and it is important to calmly assert them.

I'd also ditch the idea of going to the newspapers. It may seem like a good idea initially but once one thinks it through there are also very large downsides to doing that esp the loss of privacy.

IOP or PHP program that focuses on DBT might be a much better option for you right now during this crisis. If it means driving or inconvenience so what, its temporary and you are in critical crises. As for why, probably your behavior at the ER that night did not rise to the level of involuntarily commitment but it was unstable enough that they worried about you being alone with your daughter. Certainly having controlled pharmaceutical medicine not locked up is a huge concern especially as you leave you bright curious daughter alone while you go to bed. I'd definitely look into getting lock boxes.

As an added bonus, all my medical bills came in the mail today

So sorry you're going through all this stress, you don't deserve it

cln,
please be careful about any social media posts, emails to people, texts etc.

Watch what you post here too, anyone could join the site and copy it all.

I agree with the alerts posted by the above posters.

One does not have to join the site to copy posts. Posts are readily available to anyone.

Please consider these warnings. Many of us have been alerting you to the potential pitfalls.


WC

If it were me I would take down the city I live in and the photo from my profile all anonymous online forums.

I think the horse has already left the barn. Covering this up will be futile. Recently, you have been posting about your stress level and how you been feeling. This is very understandable considering all of what you have been experiencing. You do not have to be MI order to respond the way you have been doing.

Exactly, Tucson. And they have a copy of the email I sent that triggered everything in the first place, so I agree, it's pretty much pointless.

And I've been posting on all different sorts of forums for years, depending on the issue. This forum, an ED recovery forum, a fertility forum when I wanted to get pregnant, parenting forums I can't even remember any more. I've had Facebook for years though. I don't post psych stuff or anything much beyond saying "Oh, the guy in the car behind me paid for my order at Starbucks. That was a nice surprise!" And stuff similar to that. I don't even post anything political.

This is good advice.

Nobody knows if this horse is out of the barn yet. Lol!
Tecomsin and others make a whole lot of sense.


WC

Cln,

Simply put your screen name in a google search.
Do you see all I see? OMG!
You can change your user name here at PC. Contact a moderator if interested.

I purposely did not use your user name in this post, incase you decide to change it.

It's your call.

WC

that's a good reminder to not use the same username for more than one forum...

Although its wise to be careful with any personal information on the net, once its out there its essentially impossible to guarantee it can later be removed. Any governmental authority with investigative remit would likely be able to recover such info, should they deem it necessary. And changing data now would IMO simply be a cause for suspicion, should it be something that CPS look at.

People do forum name changes often.

I am concerned about our friend in general with all that can be tied in with the user name. CPS is just one such concern. She has the right, if she so chooses, to change her username in order to better protect her privacy.

Of course she cannot alter info that is already available via a search engine. I am not proposing anything more than a possible user name change.


WC

Wild Coyote is absolutely correct. Your username is all over the internet . I've never seen anyone online who is so transparent.

One of the things you might consider talking with a therapist about is to learn how to love yourself so you can take care of yourself. From what you've posted on this forum and some other places it seems that you might be putting yourself in some risky situations that might not turn out to be healthy for you and, in turn, your loved ones.

Speaking of which...were you able to get a therapy appointment set up?

Very well-written, Laurie.
I am concerned about our friend as well. It's never too late to start protecting oneself... and loved ones, too.

WC