[wildflowerchild25]

I went for my physical for work yesterday and they said they always fax all results over to the workplace so I must have passed my drug test or they would have fired me already. That’s a big load off my shoulders. That’s what I was most worried about.

I’m really enjoying my new job. I have to drink 20oz of coffee a day to stay awake but I don’t mind. I like coffee. The only thing I don’t like is trying to feed my student. She is a terrible eater and she’s only 41 pounds so eating is essential to her. She’s supposed to drink 8oz ensure and eat puréed food but I’ve only been able to get her to drink half the ensure and eat on an ounce or two of food at breakfast and lunch. The speech therapist says she really needs to be on a feeding tube but her mother is balking at the idea. I don’t know, I’m not a professional. I just don’t want to be blamed when she doesn’t eat.

In other news I met a guy on match about three weeks ago and it’s going really well. We haven’t met in person yet but we’ve talked on the phone. He seems really sweet and genuine. Of course you never know for sure, especially with online dating, but I like him. We were supposed to go out this weekend but he has to go on a work trip now. Which is fine because I didn’t realize my mom was working so I couldn’t have gone out anyway. I can’t wait to meet him in person though.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by MJLouise

Doctor today said I can go ahead and start lithium this evening. It shouldn’t effect the mri. Finally. But bad news is my dad had a stroke. He’s in surgery right now so depending on the outcome I may need to fly back to the states to NY to take care of stuff. I’m his everything. Medical power of attorney, will executive if he doesn’t make it. Have all his info. I’m the oldest of 5 and need to give emotional support. My youngest brother is 24 and is still living at home he’s in the middle of medical treatments too. It’s pretty overwhelming and in the midst of it all I’ll have to have a doc monitor my bloodwork weekly for the first month on lithium. I’m hoping if I need to fly out my husband and kids can go too I have a really hard time traveling alone.


I’m not in a good mental place at all.

My thoughts are with you and your family

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I went for my physical for work yesterday and they said they always fax all results over to the workplace so I must have passed my drug test or they would have fired me already. That’s a big load off my shoulders. That’s what I was most worried about.


I’m really enjoying my new job. I have to drink 20oz of coffee a day to stay awake but I don’t mind. I like coffee. The only thing I don’t like is trying to feed my student. She is a terrible eater and she’s only 41 pounds so eating is essential to her. She’s supposed to drink 8oz ensure and eat puréed food but I’ve only been able to get her to drink half the ensure and eat on an ounce or two of food at breakfast and lunch. The speech therapist says she really needs to be on a feeding tube but her mother is balking at the idea. I don’t know, I’m not a professional. I just don’t want to be blamed when she doesn’t eat.


In other news I met a guy on match about three weeks ago and it’s going really well. We haven’t met in person yet but we’ve talked on the phone. He seems really sweet and genuine. Of course you never know for sure, especially with online dating, but I like him. We were supposed to go out this weekend but he has to go on a work trip now. Which is fine because I didn’t realize my mom was working so I couldn’t have gone out anyway. I can’t wait to meet him in person though.

Congrats on your physical neing over with !!! No worries on the drug screen.

I’m sorry about that child not feeding much , I think the mom needs to agree to a feeding tube , I know all about them as I worked with elderly healthcare. Tubes aren’t always forever. Just do what you can and make sure to keep your boss up on just how much is being eaten

I’m glad you found a fellow to chat with !!

Happy things have been looking up for you you deserve it !

[~Christina]

Deciding to go walking even tho my feet are already screaming but anyway .... half way down my long gravel rock driveway I twisted my ankle so that ended that !

Im just down down down today.

I see my T in 7 days , I’ll just count the days down.

I spent a lot of the day emailing my sister about our plans to get our dad into a hospital detox/psych ward. We both did research, and I made lots of calls. I happened to have my psychiatrist appointment today and asked him for advice, too. He gave good advice. He particularly knows what he's talking about because he had worked as a staff psychiatrist at a local psychiatric hospital's dual diagnosis ward. Actually, he helped me detox from alcohol during my first hospitalization. That's another story. My sister and I want Dad to go to a particular psych hospital, but my psychiatrist said that we should "take any available bed". He explained why, and it made sense. Perhaps if Dad doesn't initially go to our first choice, he could be transferred there after a day or two.

My sister will be asking for my brother's agreement on our plan tonight. If Bro is on board, the plan is to present the plan aggressively to Dad this Saturday. I really hope my brother is on board. I hope Dad goes through with this. If not, we may need to do something even more aggressive, not only for his sake, but others'.

[pirilin]

I'm fine 'ya hear?. Loving every minute of my life. Even adversity.
Problems stop with death sometimes. Which in itself creates other problems.
I wanna have problems.
The Superior Power has never sent me even one I, or time, cannot solve.

Cheers.

[Wild Coyote]

Saw a seminar on Stem Cell treatment last night. Interesting.

A slow day today. Snow this a.m. Cloudy all day. Snow again tonight.
Used my SAD light this morning.

nothing too exciting.
A down day.


WC

[Sunflower123]

Met my daughter halfway and had a nice dinner together. That always lifts my spirits. We’ll go hiking in the Smokies next if the leaves ever change.

I made sure to get home before dark. Since I know now that I’m not imagining things, I feel responsible for not endangering people on the road in the dark. I may go ahead and have that surgery in the near future.

Best wishes to all and sending hugs to those that need them.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Met my daughter halfway and had a nice dinner together. That always lifts my spirits. We’ll go hiking in the Smokies next if the leaves ever change.

I made sure to get home before dark. Since I know now that I’m not imagining things, I feel responsible for not endangering people on the road in the dark. I may go ahead and have that surgery in the near future.

Best wishes to all and sending hugs to those that need them.

I took my mom for cataract surgery on each eye (so twice). It was nothing in terms of recovery. They sent her home with sunglasses and she took a nap when she got home (mostly because of stress) but she was fine by noon and driving with dr. approval the next day.

It was scary to see how much we'd been working together to drive once the cataracts were gone; I'd been doing most of the long-distance vision for her from the passenger seat and she immediately didn't need that anymore.

It's been a few years and she is still thrilled with the outcome.

[Blueberrybook]

Today was tough. I've got a fibro flare-up. Not only do I hurt, the brain fog & fatigue is horrible. The gabapentin definitely is not helping.

Had a bad time with forgetfulness today. See the pdoc tomorrow and am going to see if we can try an AD other than Wellbutrin. I got forgetful on Wellbutrin when I was in grad school ages ago, like the early 2000's.

Also, I have pointed out to H being mixed & bipolar, and having brain fog from fibro as well as increased stress & high anxiety likely is not doing my memory much good. I lose my words, forget how to spell simple words, talk in weird sentences, feel like 2, 3, 4 statements have already been made and go off on a completely unrelated tangent talking all the time now according to H.

It is getting H worried though I think it is most likely the meds combined with stress & some of these diagnoses.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Today was tough. I've got a fibro flare-up. Not only do I hurt, the brain fog & fatigue is horrible. The gabapentin definitely is not helping.

Had a bad time with forgetfulness today. See the pdoc tomorrow and am going to see if we can try an AD other than Wellbutrin. I got forgetful on Wellbutrin when I was in grad school ages ago, like the early 2000's.

Also, I have pointed out to H being mixed & bipolar, and having brain fog from fibro as well as increased stress & high anxiety likely is not doing my memory much good. I lose my words, forget how to spell simple words, talk in weird sentences, feel like 2, 3, 4 statements have already been made and go off on a completely unrelated tangent talking all the time now according to H.

It is getting H worried though I think it is most likely the meds combined with stress & some of these diagnoses.

Hope you get your thoughts back soon. Brain fog always frustrates me so much. Not sure how much of mine is related to moods vs the Lyme disease I had, but it really annoys me to know information and not be able to access it, or execute things I should be able to. Is this worse than normal for you?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Met my daughter halfway and had a nice dinner together. That always lifts my spirits. We’ll go hiking in the Smokies next if the leaves ever change.

I made sure to get home before dark. Since I know now that I’m not imagining things, I feel responsible for not endangering people on the road in the dark. I may go ahead and have that surgery in the near future.

Best wishes to all and sending hugs to those that need them.

It's wonderful you could meet your daughter!


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

but it really annoys me to know information and not be able to access it, or execute things I should be able to. Is this worse than normal for you?

Yes, this. And even worse, I know exactly what I mean and want to say to other people, but I just can't get it out because I forget the words I need or I can't string the sentences together concisely enough to make sense! And lately, too, I've been stuttering over some words, just to add to the fun.

And I hate going into a room for a purpose, but the minute I get into the room, I have no idea why I went there at all.

And the constant losing things. All. The. Time.

[yellow_fleurs]

Not sure how I feel today, but could be worse. Was quite irritable, distracted, but happy today, now feeling emotional and tearful this evening. I can tell my thoughts are a little off, negative things popping in my head but I am able to stop them from spiraling so far. Not really sleeping quite enough this week, but also not too far off normal. Probably 5-6 hrs a night. I will get back on track and I am doing so much better than just a few weeks ago, so I am really grateful and cannot complain. My SO arrives in a couple of hours so that will make me happy. That also motivated me to clean. A clean apartment always makes me feel better.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Saw a seminar on Stem Cell treatment last night. Interesting.

A slow day today. Snow this a.m. Cloudy all day. Snow again tonight.
Used my SAD light this morning.

nothing too exciting.
A down day.


WC

I am very sorry that you had a down day.
May your day be brighter tomorrow.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am very sorry that you had a down day.
May your day be brighter tomorrow.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Thank you, bizi!
I'll be just fine.
Need some sunshine! Have lots to do before winter...and it is snowing here!
Need the sunshine to keep me going!


WC

[TheSeaCat]

Today was great had an interview which I think went well since I did get a callback interview. Today was also the first day in a while since I have bitten my nails. I also have a new wonderful therapist who I really like. He is also Bipolar so he knows a lot of my issues. I’m afraid however that my Seroquel induced indigestion is rearing it’s ugly head again even with Prilosec.

Hugs to everyone

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Yes, this. And even worse, I know exactly what I mean and want to say to other people, but I just can't get it out because I forget the words I need or I can't string the sentences together concisely enough to make sense! And lately, too, I've been stuttering over some words, just to add to the fun.

And I hate going into a room for a purpose, but the minute I get into the room, I have no idea why I went there at all.

And the constant losing things. All. The. Time.

This! This is me too!

[Blueberrybook]

I saw the pdoc today. He's taking me off the Wellbutrin for now though if I start having problems with depression, I'm to call him; he said we might try the 75 mg. He upped the Adderall from 30 mg to 40 mg, but my concentration has been terrible lately though hopefully it will not make me manic.

I have to see him again in 2 weeks anyway or call if the T thinks there is an issue. I usually do call when I have hypomania because mine tends to degrade pretty quickly into actual mania, and I just can't have that.

No weighing today, so I must at least look halfway decent again.

[Moose72]

Im so tired. My friend that had the stroke had errands to do so he asked me to drive him around. We had a big breakfast snd now im so drowsy and want a nap. But we will probably be at starbucks for 2 hours.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Im so tired. My friend that had the stroke had errands to do so he asked me to drive him around. We had a big breakfast snd now im so drowsy and want a nap. But we will probably be at starbucks for 2 hours.

Why so long at Starbucks?

I had Starbucks too for breakfast since I have a gift card. Bittersweet because it was from MIL, who passed away in late December. As far as in-laws go, I got lucky compared to some people.

I'm tired too, feel like a nap now. I have been very tired lately.

[Moose72]

We went home instead of staying at starbucks. I was just too tired.

I was just napping and was awoken by someone banging on the door. I looked through the peephole and nobody was there??? Its happened several times before. I guess its a waking up hallucination just like there are falling asleep hallucinations?

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I saw the pdoc today. He's taking me off the Wellbutrin for now though if I start having problems with depression, I'm to call him; he said we might try the 75 mg. He upped the Adderall from 30 mg to 40 mg, but my concentration has been terrible lately though hopefully it will not make me manic.

I have to see him again in 2 weeks anyway or call if the T thinks there is an issue. I usually do call when I have hypomania because mine tends to degrade pretty quickly into actual mania, and I just can't have that.

No weighing today, so I must at least look halfway decent again.

hope this new medicine regiment works out for you!

interesting you didn't get weighed. they always weigh at my place. I have the opposite problem though. I keep gaining. Sigh I really hope I can get a handle on it by next appointment. It's weird though because I was losing for awhile and then I just suddenly started gaining and can't stop. I am upping the exercise though and trying to eat less. I might weigh myself today actually and see if there's been any change in a week.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Moose72

We went home instead of staying at starbucks. I was just too tired.

I was just napping and was awoken by someone banging on the door. I looked through the peephole and nobody was there??? Its happened several times before. I guess its a waking up hallucination just like there are falling asleep hallucinations?

Could be. Both my youngest sister & my daughter have weird falling asleep hallucinations. In fact, I freaked out when my daughter told me she sees multi-colored flowers floating around many times before she falls asleep whether her eyes are open or closed. And I remember, I had just taken her to the eye doctor less than a week ago, things were OK, just a bit more myopia (not a huge surprise as I have it & it runs through my family). I was like OMG?! Why didn't she say anything to the doctor? I'd even asked the eye doctor if she had any floaters because I got them at a very young age, 6 or 7. The optometrist is able to see the floaters, and he'd said no, not that he'd noticed.

I looked around all online, some people were thinking stuff like that was ocular migraines, but for the fact hers only happened before falling asleep. Many people on the internet did have this experience; lots of testing, nothing wrong. I probably would have gone on to insist on testing, but then, I was talking to my youngest sister who told me, oh, yeah, she sees floating flowers (mostly pink) before falling asleep most nights and has since she was a child. She has no mental health problems, no issues at all really, beyond bad PMS.

So apparently sometimes these sleep hallucinations aren't even necessarily related to mental illness. I sometimes have the auditory hallucinations before sleep, birds singing of all things.

rest of my halloween decorations arived today.

honestly gutted, I had high expectations of it and they don't look that good at all. I'd go as far to say that it was money wasted- but I suppose the way to look at is well... it's something for halloween- maybe not what I want, but it is something.

rest of the day was spent either lost in my own world (I lost a lot of time today), or eatring junkfood- what I do best