Bipolar Questions Version 4

My goal is to travel to every continent.

Are you in therapy?

Bipolar question. Does this happen to anyone else or is it something besides bipolar?
For my personal experience, If I get into an argument or someone yells or personally attacks me, I escalate the situation in my head rapidly or grossly over react. A simple negative conversation can quickly turn into violence and/or threats of violence. I can stay angry at that person for days or weeks with the event continually replaying in my mind. When I finally get over it, I fall into depression mainly because I'm mad at myself for the way I acted.
Because of the way I over react, I tend to stay to myself avoiding friends, family and social situations.
I also have recurring thoughts of Murdering and torturing people. These thoughts used to be disturbing but has been going on for such a long time that they are more like fantasies now. Enjoyable and only somewhat disturbing.
These thoughts have been with me since about 12-14 yrs of age. I was hospitalized in 2007 while in a manic phase having delusions and hallucinations. Diagnosed with Bipolar 1

I’ve been in hospital but will start therapy as soon as I remember 😂

What do you do to entertain yourself?

either surf the net or use alexa. those are my 2 favorite things to do

also music (listening to existing tracks and discovering new ones)
question: when you look back on your childhood, how do you feel.

happy?, sad?, mixed emotions?

welcome to psychcentral

yes I get this sometimes to.

to me though, it's less anger, more fear

that the person hates me or is going to reject me

Definitely mixed emotions about my childhood. It was happy, but I spent too much time self sabotaging. I tried to control everything even as a child. Silly me. It took me almost 40 years to realize there is very little in this world I can actually control.

Sticking with childhood, or maybe adulthood... What is your favorite cartoon?

when I was a kid, it was " the busy world of richard scary". if their was something in the shop with that on it (mug, bed covers, toys, I'd have it)
their was even a richard scary fruit machine near to where I lived.
now I've switched to lion guard

not only is it based on the lion king (my favorite film), but it has good songs in it and teaches you swahili (which I have a bit of an interest in)

question: what is the most unusual word that you know?

Well, it's foreign. "Hmoždíř" in Czech means mortar and pestle. It's a doozy to pronounce. Some of the sounds in this word are not present in the English language, particularly the "ř".

Q: What language(s) have you studied? Are fluent in?

when I was at school, I had to do french and spanish as part of the weekly timetable.

I'm not entirely convinced I know much french (I think I can count to 6 at a push?)

spanish I know a bit more but only basic phrases.
question: do you live in a flat, a house, or something else?

I live in a flat well it's a masonette (sp).... I have my own front door, 2 flights of stairs from front door to my livingroom etc everything is on a level. Plus I have a tiny garden too.

Question: If you have a garden what is in it? What do you use it for?

mine is actually very empty

I've got a bench and a barbecue (which never gets used), and lots and lots of grass

I want to get a bench swing (my grandmother had one and they are lovely), but that aside, I am not the gardening type

(maybe some lavender would be nice, but hmm.)

how do you like the sound of a robot future? (robots doing housework, driving, etc)

It would be an adjustment having robots do personal things such as you describe. I'd probably have to build trust in them and would surely have some complaints. I guess I would feel better about a robot doing some things (like mowing the lawn or vacuuming) than other things (like cooking or tidying up).

Q: What is your favorite wild animal (or living thing) to see/hear outside?

Squirrels are fun to watch.

Was lithium the first med you were offered when you were first diagnosed?

No Depakote which I'm still on 9 years later... I had a choice of 4 I chose Depakote my Psychiatrist agreed

Question: How many meds have you tried?

Three. Risperdal at first and then Depakote. The Depakote made my heart palpitate. I'm on Geodon now and it seems to be working well.

Q. What is your favorite day of the week?

saturday.

because it's like between the depressing sunday and the end of the previous week

chilled day...

do you have a favorite month?

Usually, May. Coming soon.

Q: Do you struggle getting up in the morning?

Usually, but it's because I go back to sleep after I wake up.

Do you take an anti-depressant?

no

what did you have for breakfast today?

A bowl of frosted cheerios

How old were you when you were first diagnosed?

25 years old

Question: What's the weather like today/tonight?

A real mixed bag. In the morning it was drizzly and gray skies, then the sun came out for a bit, but now it's gray skies and windy. It was warm in the morning. I even went to the pharmacy wearing shorts, sandals, and a sleeveless shirt. However, it has been getting progressively cooler as the day has gone on. An hour ago, I went out wearing a sweater, jeans, and socks and sneakers.

Q: What are you having for dinner tonight?

Ice cream. I cracked a tooth due to grinding my teeth at night and it had to be removed. I’ve been eating ice cream as prescribed by the dentist while it heals.

Do you have any plans for vacation this summer?

none.

what is something you've regretted in the last week

Not having had a better relationship with my father

What's for dinner (or breakfast or lunch for those not in the western hemisphere)?