[LiteraryLark]

It used to be that pre-diagnosis I felt like I had a good grip on depression, but now I'm afraid to experience it. When depression comes, I fight the urge to indulge in it by not listening to negative thinking, not listening to depressing music, not putting myself in isolation, etc because I need to keep doing and keep moving constantly so I can be strong and positive and be this happy-go-lucky person no matter how badly I hurt inside. It's harder for me to accept depression and cope with it rather than run from it with the notion that depression isn't productive or constructive. It doesn't help feeling sad all the time, but I also realize that if I don't deal with it, it bottles up inside me and turns into anger and leads to destructive behavior.

How do I accept my state of depression and work through it in a healthy way?

[wiretwister]

kinda like you I distract myself ... what has worked best for me is I follow a kpop group ... something about it just mellows me out ... takes the pain away ... at least for a while ... I figure an obsession is better than the depression ... and my pdoc says it's ok with him .... I don't even try to not be depressed ... the more I dwell on it the worst it gets ... it's just who I am now ... I accept that and when it turns nasty I dig into the music ... I would say not the best way for most but it came to me on my darkest days ... it worked ... and I have stayed with it ....

I doubt if this answered any of your questions ... just remember there many having the same feelings as you are ... most of us are struggling in some way ... I wish you peace in your journey thur life .... Tigger ..

this was one of the reasons why I decided to join the bipolar mentoring service (which sadly closed from lack of funding.)

one of the questions I had for my mentor was how do you deal with the fact that you should be doing more with your day- and you just arn't?

and this is what she said:

you do what you can handle, don't push yourself

and I try to remember that.. if one day all I can managed to do is watch a few cartoons, then so be it- tomorrow's another day and maybe I'll feel better

I would say it's the best advice I've ever gotten

[bewise93]

One thing I have been doing is scheduling activities in my day or making a checklist. Like I force myself to read 20 minutes a day, do 2 dishes every two hours (I have alot of dishes to do.) Maybe you're not as bad as me with lethargy but I think schedules and checklists help. Idk if you've ever heard of behavioral activation but it's very effective in my opinion. Find what works for you.

[pirilin]

You got The Power. Use it.