[Bipolarchic14]

I have been depressed for a couple of months. I started an outpatient program, too soon to tell if it will help. Within the past week I have started getting some euphoria (not long enough to encourage me to actually do anything.) in general I’ve been struggling with anadonia. I have been getting really bad rage. I see doc thurs and would like someone’s opinion. Outline of today. Slept ok last night. In the morning I had a holiday decorating idea and started picking out a new collection of snow babies. I am super frugal right now trying to pay off Stu loans. At work, I was asked to do something I did not want to do. I argued with them. This threw me over the top to the point where I was crying to my brother and fighting back the urge to go ransac the office. Now I am at home feeling sad and suicidal. Mixed?

[downandlonely]

I'm not sure if you're mixed, but this is concerning. I would definitely mention it to your doctor.

[Blueberrybook]

I agree, talk to your pdoc. It’s worrying. I think they take a certain amount of time when your moods are so up and down, and there is also ultra rapid cycling which I am not clear on how that differs from mixed. I hope I am coming out of a long mixed episode (end of March to present). Got a meds tweak and seem to be doing a better with interrupting, irritability,anger, racing thoughts slowing some, still have hypergraphia. Not sure about the depressive symptoms. Self esteem still sucks, feeling down but not so bad I strongly want to self harm or am actively suicidal (often am passively, such as I wouldn’t care if I died naturally in my sleep at night). Med change was recent, so the jury is still out on whether it’s working or ynot.

My mixed thoughts were one after the other, sometimes on top of each other, depressed and manic at once, go figure it. I never got so far as to be euphoric and was sleeping OKish, not enough but around 5, 5.5 hours a night. But I am sure everyone is different when it comes down to your own personal manic symptoms.

Definitely talk to your pdoc.

[xRavenx]

Sounds like it's becoming mixed. Have you had frequent mixed episodes in the past? It could vary from person to person. I do know I tend to experience a lot more agitation when mixed and sometimes the emotional outbursts lead to a lot of conflict, which sounds like what might be happening with you.

Please keep yourself safe. So sorry you're struggling with the suicidal thoughts. That's definitely a big concern. Please call your pdoc and keep a suicide hotline with you, in case you need it. Hugs

[Bipolarchic14]

Sleep is actually the first thing that concerned me. I was discussing the fact that I wasn’t meeting my nightly requirements for my insurance company to pay for my Sleep Apnea machine because I was sleeping like three hours a night for least a few weeks leading up to all this. (not in a fun hypomanic way) I have had mixed episodes. the last one put me out of work for two months. The symptoms this one are different and they are nowhere near as intense. That’s why I wanted to ask someones opinion I don’t wanna look stupid bringing this up to my doctor but at the same time I don’t want to get back to that state I was last time.