[Tucson]

I always have had what I call “cognative defecits”. This is where the brain has problems fuctioning on a cognitive level, like constantly leaving things around the house with no memory of where they are. I addressed some of this today in the daily check-in thread here “Bipolar Check In Thread”. Perhaps not appropriate net etiquette, but I will quote myself from that thread:

“My mind has not been working. Quite frequently I have been forgetting what I was doing at the time. I stop in the middle of a conversation unable to come up with the right words. I even have been forgetting what I was just talking about. I cannot think clearly. I have had to look up how to spell simple words. I have been leaving all sorts of things around the house, forgetting where I placed them.”

Before my disability, this was a very uncommon state of mind. Now this problem has been happening to me every single day. Have any of you have similar problems? Also has this been a periodic problem? My mindlessness can come and go. However, as I grow older, it has been getting worse. Now this state of mind is becoming more the norm for me, but still with periods of clearer thinking. I wonder if this is part of my MI? Perhaps the meds? I wonder if this is early onset dementia?

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Tucson,

This sounds very frustrating.

I have increasing fogginess and some cognitive deficits with some meds. I get it right now from Lamictal, for example. I find cognitive deficits also vary with the course of my illness.

I know I often get concerned I'm starting to experience dementia.

I must tell you that your posts here are very well reasoned out... and often make me stop and think about my own stance on various topics. I am so often impressed by your reasoning abilities. I don't know if it helps for you to know this or not? I hope it does help.

Have you considered testing, like a neuropsychiatric evaluation?

It's great to have your contributions here at PC.

I hope you can get these concerns sorted to your satisfaction.

WC

It could be part of your mental health issues, but if you're worried maybe have a chat with the doctor?

[Tucson]

Wild Coyote: How incredibly nice of you! This has made my day, if not my week. Oh yes, the week ends tomorrow. Well then, probably next week too!

Whenever I am up to posting much of the time, I can say something intelligent. This is when my two brain cells are able to fire in unison. Lately this has not been the case much of the time. Those little buggers. Anyway, I do not know why I have these cognitive problems. Sometimes I am so confused that people needs to explain the obvious to me. Maybe it is dependant on the context of the situation? The idea itself of looking for work frightens me and may help me become confused. Even though this may be a factor, I do not think this has been true much of the time. BTW my doctor as a PA is pretty worthless. He just does not put out the effort. He orders test, reads the diagnosis provided to him by the pathologist, and then cuts me off after ten minutes. He is there for the money.

Does anyone have these type of problems?

(Edited on 7:02 PM MST)

[Blue_Bird]

I have the same issues. I'm not sure what it's from. For myself it could be related to schizoaffective, the meds I'm on and have been on in the past, or possibly brain damage due to the severe lithium toxicity I ended up with several years ago with levels of 4.6. Or maybe it's all 3.

I'm 24 and since a couple years ago words come out wrong, I struggle verbally communicating ideas/thoughts from start to finish. I can watch a movie and 5 minutes later forget what I had been doing, then if I'm eventually able to remember I watched something, I forget any details, plot lines, etc immediately. I'm forgetting constantly, I mean it's ridiculous. I know that many people misplace things but I do it all day, I can set something down then look everywhere for it not knowing what I did with it even though I had it a few seconds or minutes ago, this happens upwards of 10 times a day maybe, sometimes more.

I can't remember what everyday objects are called sometimes. I know, but the word just won't come.

I also have the misspelling words problem, it's been happening frequently. Simple everyday words, all the sudden I can't remember how they're spelled.

Neither side of my family has a history of any form of dementia and I know I didn't have this issue several years ago.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, it's hard to deal with

Right now I'm just trying to do crossword puzzles and doing what I can to keep my mind sharp and hopefully improve the issue

[Tucson]

I am sorry you are having all those problems that are similar to mine. My problems makes me feel like I am a “dummkopf”, IOW some stupid person. I wonder what happened with you two years ago? I cannot remember when this started for me. Have you asked your dictor about this? I am going to ask my pdoc at my next appointment. I do not know if I can hold down a job. Maybe I can have something really simple job. I can always become a greeter at Walmart.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I am sorry you are having all those problems that are similar to mine. I wonder what happened with you two years ago? I cannot remember when this started for me. Have you asked your dictor about this? I am going to ask my pdoc at my next appointment. I do not know if I can hold down a job. Maybe I can have something really simple job. I can always become a greeter at Walmart.

I said a couple years but it's actually been about 6 years (kind of a blur) since when I had a very long psychotic episode. I still have psychotic symptoms sometimes from time to time but I haven't lost touch with reality that much since.

It could be negative symptoms related to the schizophrenia (cognitive decline, not being able to express things coherently) I'm not sure though.

The memory problems have been there awhile but have been worse since being on Trileptal. I've been on it for a couple years but 4 months ago it was increased. The first couple weeks I felt like I was drunk, memory was horrendous. Still is. But it helps me so I don't want to change it.

I haven't asked my doctor about it, it never really occurred to ask her but I probably should. She's out for surgery so I won't be able to see her till January.

I don't have a job right now, just a part time college student. But I think that's a good idea to start with something simple

I hope you're able to figure it out

[nikon]

i can relate, and i'm sorry you're experiencing this. i've struggled with writing, spelling, remembering (words, and remembering things i wanted to say that i thought of three seconds previously), sometimes saying completely nonsense words etc. my pdoc did one of those cognitive tests with me though and everything was fine, so i think a lot is also related to interaction with others and the way that increases stress. i think mine is increased from the meds i'm on, and i wouldn't be surprised if my long term bouts of depression have damaged my brain permanently in some way. one of the first episodes coincided with not being able to read at all because i simply couldn't concentrate, and since then i have struggled hugely with concentration.

[Blueberrybook]

This is me too. I am at the point where I think it is not fixable. I think it was really hurt by being misdiagnosed & put on SSRIs for 10 years. I am so sorry you are having this problem. I have tried for a simple job but think they see me as overqualified as I have an M.S. Perhaps I should leave the M.S. and B.S. off applications. But honestly, I don't know that I can even handle an easy job at this point, and that just sucks.

I am so sorry you are going through this

[Gabyunbound]

I'm sorry you're suffering like this, it must be very frustrating and not a little scary.

I consider myself to have cognitive deficits as well, and mine surround two things: my memory is horrendous. I can't remember what people tell me and what I've already told them. To head this off, I've gotten into the habit of telling people, "I know I've probably already told you this, but..." so they don't think I'm so batty that I can't remember that I told them just yesterday (though they probably will anyway). I frustrate my brother a lot; it shows on his face and in his voice.

The other thing is word-finding. I just can't think of the word I'm looking for. This happens very often and it is very very frustrating and frightening as well. It's easier to write because I have time to think of things, but speaking is something else altogether.

So...why?? I'm 47 and I feel like that's too young to have cognitive deficits, or at least not to this extent. The only thing I can think of is that it's the meds, maybe especially the 'downers' like klonopin and methadone; in fact a pdoc once told me that benzo's are big culprits when it comes to cognitive problems. But I don't feel that I can get off of it because I suffer from so much anxiety, I can feel so paralyzed I can't do anything, and so scared, I can't leave the house.

Also, something weird. I recently had a concussion after a fall, and the hospital did a CT of my head. The radiologist wrote that my brain had shrunk "commensurate with my age." So it's supposed to be appropriate for my age, but I wonder if it's the meds -whichever of the meds I take. I seem to remember having read that certain psych meds can shrink the brain. Anyway, mine is already beginning to shrink lol.

Good luck with everything. You can ask your pdoc if any of your meds cause cognitive decline, and if so, if you can replace it with another that doesn't.

[Tucson]

Well since all of you have problems similar to mine, I am beginning to think it is unlikely that I have early onset dementia. So its the meds or the illness. I have been on a full spectrum of meds. I have had these defecits to some degree through all of this time. However, it can become bad, and it has been this way for a significant period of time now.

Now let me think aloud.

I am on Buprorion, Fluoxetine, Benzotropine, Lamotragine, and Olanzapine. The recent changes for about a month now has been the Fluoxetine and Olanzapine. Before that it was that nasty Depekote. I had to get off Depakote due to balance problems. I remember having bad episodes of cognitive problems like this in the past. So maybe this is not due to any specific meficine?

One variable can be stress. Nowadays I can become stressed out, and then subsequently depressed, over relatively small things. However, this time is about finding a job, which is something more significant. This scares me. Before this it was my daughter getting pregnant under very unfavorable circumstances. I am stressing out about how much money is being spent. Oh yes, both my daughter’s mother and her brother has had their permission to work taken away from them for no apparent reason. So I am concerned about both of them being deported.

So maybe this is more situational than I have originally thought? Perhaps my MI has been changing how I respond to events in my life? Perhaps over time this just has been getting worse for me? I am sure the meds are not helping.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Tucson

Well since all of you have problems similar to mine, I am beginning to think it is unlikely that I have early onset dementia. So its the meds or the illness. I have been on a full spectrum of meds. I have had these defecits to some degree through all of this time. However, it can become bad, and it has been this way for a significant period of time now.

Now let me think aloud.

I am on Buprorion, Fluoxetine, Benzotropine, Lamotragine, and Olanzapine. The recent changes for about a month now has been the Fluoxetine and Olanzapine. Before that it was that nasty Depekote. I had to get off Depakote due to balance problems. I remember having bad episodes of cognitive problems like this in the past. So maybe this is not due to any specific meficine?

One variable can be stress. Nowadays I can become stressed out, and then subsequently depressed, over relatively small things. However, this time is about finding a job, which is something more significant. This scares me. Before this it was my daughter getting pregnant under very unfavorable circumstances. I am stressing out about how much money is being spent. Oh yes, both my daughter’s mother and her brother has had their permission to work taken away from them for no apparent reason. So I am concerned about both of them being deported.

So maybe this is more situational than I have originally thought? Perhaps my MI has been changing how I respond to events in my life? Perhaps over time this just has been getting worse for me? I am sure the meds are not helping.

I can't say what's going on because I am having the same thing. Have you ever heard of the theory of "kindling"? It says that every time you have an episode it is worse than the one before. (Named for kindling when building a fire, it all adds up.) And yes, the meds are a culprit. When I was on lamictal, I recall that my brain never felt so clear! No short-term memory problems at all. And now that I'm on Seroquel, the memory issues are back. So its anybody's guess.

[BipolaRNurse]

The cognitive deficits are what I find to be the most frustrating part of my illness. My short-term memory is horrid, I have trouble with word-finding, and I can't memorize anything so learning and retaining new information is very difficult, if not impossible. I have had two different psychiatrists tell me that it's not dementia (which I feared) but brain damage due to repeated bipolar episodes and medications. There's not much that can be done about it, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's or some other kind of dementing disease process.

As it is, I'm learning to live with it and laugh off the instances where my kids catch me being a doofus ("Mom, you've told me that three times today"). I also have taught myself to say out loud what I'm doing and where I'm putting something, like my phone and keys ("I am putting my phone on the dresser"). It sounds really simple and stupid but it works for the most part.

[~Christina]

I struggle , like we all seem to.

I think mine is mainly due to decades of not being diagnosed and treated ( think over 4 decades, traced it back to age 6)

Once diagnosed at age 43 and on the Med Merry Go Round.

I struggle with all cognitive functions , sometimes it’s better than other day but I feel downright stupid at times.

So a healthy mixture of bipolar episodes and meds

Do I want to dump my meds? Yessssss , why don’t I ? I want me to be the best me possible for my family and myself. Every major episode I have takes longer to recover from. Knock on wood I haven’t caused a path of destruction in my wake except for just inside me.

I wish things were different. But it is what it is.

I’m grateful for today I was able to find all the words I needed. Tomorrow??? Might be a verbal disaster.

[Pookyl]

I once asked my pdoc about this.
She said it’s a combination of my meds and the fact that I have back to back to back episodes.
She sent me to a neuropsychologist which was really good. They talked a lot about neuroplasticity. They also encouraged me to use it or lose it. So I spend much of each day doing logic and jigsaw puzzles. My brain is working better.

[raspberrytorte]

I recently started volunteering at my local animal shelter. I could not, for the life of me, find my way around the place! The people there probably think I'm a total moron. So I can relate to the cognitive problems.