[luvyrself]

I find it very difficult to decide how much emphasis to put on fine tuning my meds and how much to work on developing a lifestyle that makes me happy. Both need a lot of work right now. I know the obvious answer is to work on both, but that is very difficult and I tend to get stalled out,go in the wrong direction, or put a draining amount of effort into helping my life partner instead who has huge medical challenges and leaves it to me to keepsavinghislife.
I get more ideas, info on this forum than anywhere elsethoIhavea t and pdoc.
I know many of you face this challenge so I want to hear from you. Thanks!

[MickeyCheeky]

Usually your Pdoc should be able to help with your meds and finding the right balance, luvyrself. Is he helping you? What lifestyle are you trying to adopt? It's surely not easy to find the right combination between these two things, but I believe it can be done. It will just take time. Please don't give up, you can do this. You're stronger than you think. Sending many hugs to you

[Skeezyks]

Well personally I'm no longer on psych med's (or any other med's either for that matter.) I just never found them to be beneficial enough to make them worth what was involved in taking them. (That's not to say there aren't times when I think perhaps I should consider giving them another try.) Of course, I'm old. And so what works for me is likely to be different than what would work for younger people.

Essentially, what I've done is to arrange my day-to-day life to accommodate my mental health issues. I pretty-much stay at home & keep to myself. I only listen to calm soothing music, I avoid watching anything violent or gory on TV, & I have a pretty-much set routine I follow day-in & day-out. It all helps me to keep myself on an even keel for the most part, as the saying goes. Med's are med's & of course it's certainly good to do whatever you can, in conjunction with your pdoc, to fine tune them. But, to my mind, working on developing a lifestyle that makes you happy... or at least content... is the best place to focus your energy & attention. To my way of thinking if you're not happy, or at least content, I don't believe there's any medication in the world that's going to ameliorate that.

[luvyrself]

Huge transitions in my life make this more challenging. As happens for many of us, moving to a new state w new doctors makesthis harder. Work, then what job since I’m older and seem to be beaten out all the time in the field I have a masters in by younger more tech savvy Spanish speaking applicants. My life partners life threatening health issues can easily suck up much of my life. Start a business? Takes about a year to be making decent money. Tried to retrain but my disorder makes certain jobs unrealistic because when I’m very stressed outI experience confusion from my disorder. I am very fortunate that I am old enuf to be pulling 3 retirements, butI need the structure of a job to feel well and I really do need more savings for care when I’m old. Very expensive here in US.
No I have not received much help from 15 min pdoc sessions. I find them worse than unhelpful. Damaging sometimes. My current board certified doc says things that just aren’t true. (U mite have ADHD—that’s nonsense and thanks for upsetting me) Can u imagine trying to treat a patient w a complicated disorder in 15 minute sessions?

[Gabyunbound]

I'm not 100% sure this relates to your post, but I take my night meds VERY early because, with them, I need a lot of sleep. But soon I'll be moving closer to where my mother lives: she is very ill, and I'll be the primary care taker (not my brother). The point is, is that I will really have to be taking my night meds later so that I'm awake for longer to take care of my mother.

As an aside, I'm going through a very very hard time right now, knowing I will be uprooted from the apartment (and its location) that I love, and spending so much time taking care of my mother. It's scary, and the sacrifices are many. I know I'm doing the right thing, but the 'right thing' can be so damn hard.

In any case, as far as lifestyle vs meds, my lifestyle vis a vis meds needs to be changed, as I say, by taking my night meds (that help me sleep) far later. I'll get less sleep and be more tired/sleepy during the day -though I hope I'll still be able to function well, I don't know- but my lifestyle will certainly change with taking the meds at a later time.

[piano97]

Gaby that's a good post on medication timing, etc. I prefer to be up early. I am actually sleeping 7-8 hours now after much less for a few months straight. The earlier I take meds, the more I allow myself to sleep and can still be up early (but early is 6am, not 330-400am!!!) I haven't done good with that the last couple nights and try it tonight. Thanks for bringing it up.

I'm sorry about your mother's health, and you're new role in that is a big transition much be frightening to tackle. Can be a wonderful gift to you both when taking on a caretaker role, but it's so important that you maintain your health during the transition and adjustment.

How long till this happens? Probably is on your mind a lot, if you can, sit aside time everyday (and only during that time) to think about, plan, talk to doc about med times (day and night), dosages, etc, your concerns, fears, plus also things you feel confident about going well or things you know will help keep things going well, what are your current strengths, what are your current challenges, just start having awareness of behavioral things that can help keep you well, and quickly get you back on track when needed.

It's a lot to handle. You can do it though, be strong, the time you spend together will probably be a wonderful experience. And ultimately help you take better care of you too in the process, and that is the beauty of care-giving. Keep reaching out.

[Gabyunbound]

Sorry OP, I just wanted to respond to Piano.

You give very very good advice. I'm overwhelmed and haven't known how to deal with this. I'm terrified actually. I DON'T want to move, it scares me so much. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the transition. My mother actually told my brother the other day -they know about my mental health challenges- that "your sister is afraid of falling apart." And so it is.

I want to take care of her, but from more of a distance, less than now, so I can stay where I am. But my brother is unwilling to hear of any alternative to all of us living together in a compound and I have felt an enormous amount of pressure to change to that lifestyle. I love my mother dearly, I worry about her very often, talk to her on the phone every night, but am afraid of my capacity to handle the transition.

I've already been taking a lot of time off of work (medical appts., car accident, concussion frrom a fall, taking care of my mother), but I'll need to take more time off for the move. And I think during that time, it would be a good idea to see my T once a week, instead of every other week.

Again, I'm so sorry to take over this thread, I really am. I'll end it here. Thank you so much Piano.