Can't work anymore

I don't know what to do about work anymore. I'm 27 and a school psychologist. I'm a horrible employee. I come in late or leave early and can barely keep up with my work. I recently was told I'm getting a written warning for poor performance. I have social anxiety on top of my bipolar 1, which affects my behavior at work. I truly don't feel like I can keep up with the demands of full time work anymore. I spent so much time and money in school to reach this point. It was difficult and professors doubted my abilities. Now I'm realizing they were right. I've always had a feeling I could somehow make it through school, but I'd be in trouble once I was facing working for 40 years. Does anyone have any recommendations of what I can do? I was thinking of quitting and trying out a part time job, but then I'll lose my insurance and won't have meds anymore. I think I'd do best working from home.

Do you do therapy, or can you do therapy? If so, what about teletherapy?

I'm seeing a psychologist.

Oh, sorry. I wasn't clear!

I meant, can you yourself work as a telepsychologist?

Be easy on yourself some, you aren't a bad person or a failure, that is the illness talking, not you as a person. It's good you are reaching out for some support.

It sounds like you have probably been at your job for awhile, hopefully at least a year? Please look in to FMLA and/or short-term disability. It is there to help you.

it sounds like you might benefit (a lot) from taking a break short-term, and can take it from there after having time to step-back for a minute. Maybe a medication adjustment may help, maybe seeing providers or someone new may help, maybe just having some time off will help.

Don't quit the job though. You may be right that a remote job may end up being best for you, but right now probably isn't the time to make any big decisions.

When do you see your healthcare team next?

How are/have things like sleep, nutrition, hygiene, etc been going?

Oh okay. No, I can't. I need to work in a school to do my job.

This is my second year at my job. I've already taken off several days this year. I did FMLA last year for a hospitalization. I don't think I can take off any more days without consequences.

I see a psychologist and pdoc on January 2nd. My sleep has been interrupted and varies from 3 hours to 12 hours. I've been eating and taking care of hygiene.

Would you be willing to do a career change? I know some people who've gone into Human Resources with psych degrees. A decent amount of companies don't particularly care what your psych job is currently, whether it's a school psychologist, therapist, etc.. They just want someone who has a degree in psychology or social work. That may be more lax.

I'm willing to do a career change as long as there's no more schooling required and it is low stress. I'm not sure at this point what I can reasonably handle.

Good to hear some ADL's are going OK, but the sleep is concerning. Sleep is probably the most singular important aspect of getting/staying stable.

Glad to hear you see your providers really soon.

How much time off did you take on the hospitalization? I don't remember, but I think it's a 6 week thing (in one rolling calendar year, so that year would start whenever the first FMLA absence was), and can be split up however it needs to be, and can be on-going to where if you need a day or two off, it can be FMLA time. It's a federal benefit to help and protect people in the exact situation you are in, don't have any shame about it, it's there to support you.

Do you have short-term disability insurance? If so, that can help fill in the salary gap on days you are off work. A lot of people don't have it though, I never did but wish I would have. Would have relieved some pressure to not go back too soon when I had to take a couple of extended breaks.

Glad you are reaching out for some support.

I took a little over a week off. I'm not comfortable asking for more time off just yet, especially since they're not happy with my performance right now. The last thing I need is to give them another reason to want to fire me. I don't have short or long term disability options at my workplace.

This wouldn’t solve your insurance problem, but around here there are so many .2 to .8 part time school psych positions. No one wants them except housemoms bc you don’t get insurance, but it might be a way to keep working and not have a huge gap in your work history. There are also lots of staffing companies that do offer insurance and can work with fewer hours. You might also consider a smaller, more rural district. It’s a much different feel being in a k-12 district of 400 than a hs district of 4000.

i am a social worker, not a psychologist, but there are a lot of part time gigs doing therapy that require a psychology or social work background. If you belong to a professional organization the website probably has job listings- for me it’s the NASW (you can check them out, they post positions for psych positions too). It does make a difference in terms of where you live but part time work can be found in your field. I currently work a part time job with a lot of flexibility and do not think I could go back to regular full time social work. I am sorry you are dealing with this, I know how stressful it can be. I would try to take FMLA time personally, it sounds like you are at a breaking point and need time.

I used to be a teacher so I know that working in the schools is very stressful (I can relate to feeling overwhelmed in some of the jobs I had)! There are so many children with severe needs who are in impossible situations. I would think that being a private therapist would be so much less stressful. Plus, in the private sector--you are paid for all the hours you work. In the schools, if you factor in all your overtime that you are not paid for--the pay is not that good. As a psychologist--could you qualify for other jobs? I get my healthcare through the VA and really like the mental health care I am getting. I am always seeing the VA advertising for psychologists (that would be a job with good health benefits). Are you considering all your options? Maybe you are just a bad employee because you are in a job that is a bad fit...

I'm not a licensed psychologist and I'm not licensed to be a therapist, so I can't go those routes without more schooling. I'm trained specifically to be a school psychologist. It looks like part time work might be my best option right now.

I’m sorry you are struggling in your job. Sending supportive vibes and best wishes for finding a position that works for you.