I don’t know if it’s from the medication that I’m taking or from years of hard living with drugs and alcohol, but it’s been like this for as long as I can remember...

Lamictal 400mg, Prozac 40 mg.

It’s black with spinning red scribble lines spinning and shooting one way or another...much like running, falling, staggering through the woods with a red light at night seeing only the outlines of every single blade of grass, leaf, tree... When I open my eyes in the dark...I still can see the chaos. I also can see it in black shadows in a dim light.

When I try to imagine a picture (like now), it’s pushed out of the way and fades away by the swirly red lines with a black background. Some time geometric shapes and patterns form shrinking and growing randomly.

When manic, I see geometric rainbow shapes (mostly round) dancing before my eyes open or shut in a kalediscope kind of fashion, bouncing to a rhythmic beat enough that I can focus and watch it over my surroundings.

It seems that there is an intensity in me so much the edge wakes me up early and keeps me up late. So drinking a lot might let me sleep all night, maybe.

Anti-psychotics gives me brain zaps so much that I dont take them.

I think my noodles are scrambled, or aliens are controlling me, or too much xtc/lsd when younger?

Any of this sounds familiar?
I mean obviously there’s nothing one can do about it except maybe quit meds and be drug free?

Just trying to figure this thing out...I don’t know if it’s BD or DID with the alters pushing around or the damaged past.

Thanks.

[Blue_Bird]

I've experienced this before when manic. I closed my eyes and would see swirls of colors going everywhere then still see it when I opened my eyes, it really freaked me out. However, I think if someone had a history of using the drugs you mentioned, that may be a factor in it as well

My memory is crap, but always has been due to switching alters and personalities....

Or maybe I was born this way...got real bad tinnitus in both ears which is stereo to the middle of my head.

[AspiringAuthor]

I do not experience this, but just want to point out that your medication mix predisposes you to mania.

[captaineo]

I see my kids.

[Treyfrancis21]

I did a lot of psychedelics when younger and I get all sorts of crazy things when I close my eyes. Geometric shapes are the most prevalent.

[Guiness187055]

Nothing really but darkness.

[Nammu]

Same as Guiness, darkness.

[AspiringAuthor]

I see darkness and a remnant of the last thing I saw before closing my eyes - now, the window pane.

Originally Posted by Treyfrancis21

I did a lot of psychedelics when younger and I get all sorts of crazy things when I close my eyes. Geometric shapes are the most prevalent.

Thanks, that helps.

Now I don’t feel so alone, lol

Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor

I do not experience this, but just want to point out that your medication mix predisposes you to mania.

It could, but stabilizers alone leaves me flat and stable on the depressed side, so the bit of a.d.

[AspiringAuthor]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

It could, but stabilizers alone leaves me flat and stable on the depressed side, so the bit of a.d.

Even Lamictal alone? Wow, you really are hit hard by depressive tendencies. A tough case.

P.S. 40 mg of Prozac is not the lowest dose of Prozac - maybe you can find your sweet spot by lowering Prozac.

[Christopher1990]

About 3-2 years ago I was seeing biblical type of pictures in my head if it tried focusing hard enough. I was also able to see a very detailed eye in the center of my forehead, where your pineal gland would be. At the time I was seeing these I was very into meditation and at first I started seeing an indigo type of color in my head.

I hardly ever hallucinate when my eyes are open.and if it ever happens its usually looking at someone's face and it warps into a different face.

But nowadays I don't see anything with my eyes closed. If anything maybe certain color when meditating.

I started astral projecting in 2016 and this is a different story. And if I ever told my pdoc this is probably be sent off to the hospital. But it is real .

Anyways I'd be careful and mention this to your pdoc. There's a certain name for hallucinating with eyes closed I forget what its called.