Is the hospital really that bad?

I set pretty specific criteria for going inpatient which sprang from a conversation with my therapist after my last hospitalization.

"When the impulse (to do something stupid) overwhelms the inhibition, it's time for ol' Aurelius to check himself in." That's my criteria for going inpatient, but my therapist added "When you lose insight into the reality of your condition and the state it puts you in, it might be time to go inpatient as well."

The last time I went impatient, I was bored as bell, but I was safe. I didn't have enough meetings with doctors or psychiatrists to make much of a difference, but I was safe (and made some friends on unit).

If I have to go to the psych ward, I go for safekeeping until the impulse clears and/or I get insight back. It's a last ditch effort but one I keep in the back of my mind.

Yeah I probably should have gone but... I didnt. And that worked out for me this time. But who knows if it will work out for me the next. Id like to think Im fairly good at taking care of myself in...difficult situations... but ha thats only something Id LIKE to say maybe.

I would much rather go voluntary I guess. I cant see having to fight police or anything like that being something Id want to do so involuntary sounds a bit awful.

But yeah. My number one preference is to not go at all!

But from what everyones- or most everyone- is saying is that... its not as bad as Im thinking. So maybe that IS the case and I shouldnt be so nervous about it

I'm sorry I haven't read the others' responses. I need to rush out. Here's my personal answer.

Hospitals do vary in terms of comfort level, staff behavior, and strictness (a term that has a wide range of meanings). You also sometimes get a good/OK roommate and sometimes not. Or other patients in the ward are nice or not. I've had pretty good luck, for the most part. I've stayed in private hospitals that weren't that crowded, and never really had that bad of an experience with other patients. They weren't exactly resorts, though. That's for sure! But mine weren't out of a scary movie, either.

The nurses and other staff at the hospitals I went to ranged from very nice, to annoying/bossy, but there was nothing scary about them when I was there. Nevertheless, you are in a place with other patients in crisis and staff that are sometimes stressed. Occasionally, that can be disturbing. Sometimes I think my behavior was disturbing to others. When it was, I was taken (or dragged, if I was out of control) to an isolation room and given a sedative or antipsychotic injection. That wasn't the norm in the ward, though. Many patients are not in that type of mental state. I only recall two other patients like that over the course of my 10 hospitalizations. I don't want to go into any scary details about it, but will say that it was necessary they did that to me because I was a threat to others and myself. I could write that "the hospital was horrible for doing that", but what were they supposed to do? Let me scare everybody?

I have heard horror stories about staff and other things at some hospitals, including one at a hospital I went to. Once I saw a very old woman with TD. I mean REALLY bad TD. It was a bit disturbing. That's not something people get much anymore, or at least not to that degree. Hopefully no staff will act towards a patient in an uncalled for way. I really think those cases are uncommon.

There are people who are severely depressed or manic (or mixed) that just want to be home in their safe/desired place, or not restricted. The hospital could potentially seem uncomfortable in those cases. In other cases, being in the hospital can seem like an escape from the pain and stress of life outside. If your job or family situation is hurting you mentally, the hospital can give you a break from them.

I don't remember some of my hospitalizations. I had manic blackouts quite often. Or when I got ECT, I had memory blackouts. The time I do remember was sometimes boring. Sometimes I hid in my room. Sometimes I paced all over the ward, danced in the hallways, sat in a corner with my mind racing, had some level of pleasure talking to another patient I liked, or was kept sufficiently or almost sufficiently occupied in process groups or doing other things. I often ate a lot. Though some may lose weight in the hospital, I think gaining weight is common, too. In the hospital, I didn't care. Macaroni and cheese, ice cream, burger and fries. Whatever!

I've had pretty horrific experiences being hospitalized in Canada. One time I gave a cigarette to another patient (back when I smoked) before I went out for my smoking break.

When I got back they told me to empty my pockets, which I did. I asked them what this was about and eventually they told me they had also searched my belongings in the room and accused me of giving pills to another patient (which I hadn't done).

Then I got really paranoid that I was going to be framed for doing something illegal. That anyone could put pills into my belongings when I was out of the room so I asked to be put in a private room, which would be one of the isolation rooms.

So that happened.

Then a nurse yelled at me to 'take my olanzapine', which I was refusing, while all the patients ate lunch. She wouldn't stop loudly talking about my medication in front of all the patients and eventually after asking her to stop I got up and went to my room. I was then locked in the room and they came and gave me a 10 mg olanzapine injection. When I passively refused to cooperate by sitting on the floor, that nurse pushed me back and banged my head on the concrete floor.

I have had multiple bruises from being detained in emergency psych for days on end waiting for a bed on a psych ward and eating cold sandwiches for meal after meal. I was never violent or did anythign to bring on except those who have unlimited power over others they look down upon abuse it.

So I would say my treatment in Canada has been somethign out of the middle ages and I would never go voluntarily to a psych ward for that reason. I fear abuse and mistreatment.

I am so very sorry you have encountered this type of treatment.

It does happen in some types of settings, most unfortunately.

In the U.S., I think this type of "treatment" is more likely to occur in some state hospital settings. There can be a very condescending/abusive mentality.

It's no wonder you cannot/do not trust being admitted to a psych unit. How does anyone get over that type of an experience? Uggh!

My heart goes out to you, tecomsin.


WC

State hospital here in mystate is crazy. I almost worked there. They use leather restraints to
Beds, quiet rooms, Mouth spit guards over your head for people who try to spit, Hand mitt restraints so you can’t harm
Yourself and forced baths.

That sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs.

I’m not making it up. I went through training but couldn’t bring myself to work therrn

So... stay out of the hospital unless you absolutely have to go pretty much?

And then... you get to choose right? Drive to the nicest one and then... dont fight being admitted?

Well, you hope for that. It doesn't always happen. If you go to a given hospital and they don't have a bed that is appropriate (or at all!) for you then they will send you elsewhere. This happens at a different rate different places. Once I was in the pysch er fo 36 hours because every psych bed in the area was full. I was waiting for a bed on mood disorders and that opened up before a bed on general psych that another woman was waiting for even though she'd been there even longer than I was (she was waiting for an ambulance to take her to another hospital when I went upstairs). They were looking to place her anywhere though while the goal for me was mood disorders which was the best match for me.

The best way to go in is usually to have your pdoc direct admit you. Not all pdocs are affiliated with a hospital but if they are that really makes a difference. In the 5 times I've been IP only once did I have to go in through the ER; the other times my pdoc arranged everything ahead of time and just told me when to show up.

It also depends on insurance. Private psych hospitals may be nicer (I have no idea) but Medicare limits how many days you can be in a private hospital while a regular hospital the days are not capped differently than Medicare in general). Insurance plays a role in whether they can admit you and then in how long you can stay. I've never had insurance send me home any sooner than I needed and several times I've gone home with a few more approved days ahead. But some insurance is stricter and will send people home faster or will not allow an admission unless there is clear danger to self or others.

It is a good idea to talk to your pdoc about their recommendations should an emergency occur and where they suggest you go/procedure you should follow (some pdocs can be contacted after hours while mine can't be very easily). Then you know what hospital they suggest and how they recommend proceeding with the psych ER/general ER (I would try for a psych ER personally as regular ERs can be unkind to psych issues sometimes. Having said that I had a very good experience when I was in the regular ER hallucinating from lithium toxicity but I was in a psych room that had everything removed and they were watching me). Just in case discussions are never bad.

In a perfect world yes but the world ain't perfect.

I think if you know what you're getting out of it, you'll be OK. Don't expect any kind of real one on one care like you get with your therapist or psychiatrist. I saw them a grand total of twice during each week I was in. Like I said in my last post, if you're worried about hurting yourself of doing something stupid, inpatient is probably the best place to be.

If you're checking yourself in, you absolutely can choose where you want to go. No reason you can't drive to the hospital you want and say, "I need to be admitted please." The issue is involuntary admission. Most of the time you're stuck sitting pretty for at least three days by law. After that, the hospital can still choose to keep you around in the interest of stability. The one I had was good about stabilizing me, but I have had a "special" case too (see my "Anger at Hospitalization Rant" post on that).

Best advice I can give here regardless of how you are admitted is "You are your own best advocate." If you can make a case for something (within reason), my experience has been that the staff is generally happy to accommodate you.

I think it's fair to say no one wants to be in the hospital. It's kind of a undesirable necessity sometimes. Admissions usually happen because you are a danger to yourself, others, or are unable to do basic self-care. It's best to see an admision for a mental illness the same way you'd see an admission for a physical illness. Necessary but not fun. I had breast cancer 2 years ago and was in and out of the hospital for 5 months. I also have bipolar 1 disorder with psychosis. I've had psychotic-manic episodes that kept me in the hospital for 9 weeks. I can say with authority, neither was pleasant but both were lifesaving.

Eastern State? She's not joking

Central state hospital

Where I live in Canada, the medical system is authoritarian. Doctors are almost never sued successfully for malpractice. This creates a realm of unaccountability.

I also think that antisocial people like psychopaths are attracted to fields of work where they can act with impunity so the psych wards will have more than their fair share of these people and they are also more likely to rise to the top and run things.

One patient who was locked into the secure ward inside the psych ward with me had a kind of dementia and he had not been outside to get fresh air or even allowed to walk on the main ward for over 6 months. He just walked in circles around inside the locked ward.