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#76
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Hello everyone and a very happy Friday; my favorite day of the week. My day was okay a little busy at work since it is Friday and I don't like leaving things for next week. Today was also National Wear Red Day so at my office you could wear jeans as long as you were red. Not to mention February is National Heart Month. Our office rarely gets to wear jeans so that was really nice that we could today.
After work M and I got takeout for the parents and grandpa and tried to redo Monday's disastrous visit with the father. M decided to talk to my father behind my back while I was at the spa and basically told my father to grow up that I have issues but I did not ask for those issues. He's like you are going to lose her so maybe don't insult her heart condition or her mental health issues. I felt really shocked that M put my father to task on his being a jerk wad; he also explained our relationship since my father thinks it's a large difference. 6 years is not that bad. So we redid dinner and it wasn't so terrible; Grandfather just loves M to pieces and he can see that I'm head over heels about that man. Dad was sort of nice and apologized. You could also somewhat understand Mom tonight and she also really likes M. So I guess he has her stamp of approval. He also has Grandfather's stamp of approval. I know my Aunt really likes him as well, my Uncle has yet to meet him as have my girls officially. The youngest got to meet him for Strep Throat but that was before we were officially dating. His sister is supposed to be coming to church on Sunday so I will get to meet her and her husband along with their two children. So I get to meet them at church and dinner after church. It feels so real and for the first time I like that feeling and I don't want to hide from that feeling or put up more walls around my heart. I feel like he is pulling me out of the shell the PTSD caused and I'm feeling more and more like my old self. Hugs to everyone ![]()
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Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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#77
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Quote:
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__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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#78
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![]() MickeyCheeky, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#79
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I had an appointment with the pdoc yesterday and it was okay though he thinks I am socially isolated and need to do more to improve that. He wants me to attend a mental health center and thinks that might help me. I`m not so sure. I`m a very shy, quiet person and interacting with other people does not come very easily to me. He also wants me to try therapy again. I`m not too sure about that either. I really didn`t find it that helpful in the past.
I hope everyone has a very nice weekend. Hugs to all that want them. ![]() ![]()
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#80
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I feel mainly blah.
so I ate, so what. I came on the forum so what, I listened to music, so what everything is just "so what" I don't really care about anything today |
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#81
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Sending good thoughts your way. Thank you for all of your support! bizi ((((HUGS)))) bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#82
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I got ECT yesterday. While my spirit is good, by head hurts.
Today we're celebrating my younger son's birthday since his grandparents are going to be gone on the actual date. I'm expecting criticism and judgement.
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#83
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I hope it goes better then you think it will.
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#84
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I feel.................discombobulated
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#85
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I hope you're all doing ok. You can do this! You're all strong, I know that. I believe in you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to everyone
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#86
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I took a sleeping pill last night for the first time around 8:30 last night. Knocked me out from around 10 PM to 11 AM when my husband called from work. He lectured me on about 5 different things in a 2 minute time frame while I was half asleep (for instance: why aren’t you up? Drink some coffee. Get on the treadmill, that will wake you up. What are the kids doing?). Really pissed me off. But I did get up. I talked to him a few minutes ago and he was way less ridiculous but he did ask if I was going to make the kids help me clean up. They have kind of run a muck because I’ve been so self absorbed. But, I have no motivation. I just want to lay here on this couch and cry and listen to music through my headphones. I feel so heartbroken and sad. He just tells me it’s so unhealthy for me to continue laying around listening to music in my own little world. He says it only makes things worse. And, I’m 100% sure he will be angry if he comes home to this messy house. I have been well so long my house has been fine. Now that I’m not, it looks like a train wreck. There are clothes, toys, coats, everywhere. They even have breakfast and lunch dishes still on the table. I just don’t ****ing care.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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![]() ~Christina
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#87
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Hung out with my mom today. We went to an Indian grocery store to buy some ingredients for making Indian dishes. We’re not Indian, but we LOVE Indian food. We already have a ton of ingredients from previous trips to Indian grocery stores, but we needed some ingredients for samosa chaat and vegetable korma. mmm...
I’m going to attempt to read again today, but I have a strong feeling that I’m going to fail at it like I did yesterday. ![]() Quote:
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#88
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I love Indian food! I just wish I knew more about Indian cooking! Maybe I will look into it more. ![]() ![]() ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
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#89
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Me, too... and it's very confusing!
I hope this clears up for you, soon! ![]() ![]() ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
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#90
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![]() You are a wonderful person. Don't forget this! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
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#91
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I hope you are given a break, you have been through enough lately ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#92
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Well, my mom called me to help motivate me and told me to get off the couch. 10 minutes later she said “I know how tired you are sweet heart and Evie told me you went back to sleep. Can you stand up while I have you on the phone? I think it will make you feel better.” I told her I just felt like I was going to cry and proceeded to cry my eyes out. She then asked if I needed her to come over and I told her no. 15 minutes later there was a knock on my door. It was her, of course, and now my entire upstairs is neat and clean and about 4 loads of laundry are folded and put away. I feel quite a bit better too. I love my mom so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#93
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I recommend Vahchef on YouTube. Authentic. He’s quite a character too! |
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#94
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Quote:
![]() ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() TheSeaCat
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#95
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This past week was not great. A few things triggered me back to back and it was hard to cope. Monday -Friday chewed me up and Saturday spat me out.
Better day today ![]() |
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#96
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There's always something that requires extra money you thought you wouldn't need to spend. My car battery is shot. I have to get replaced. I have no choice. I have to drive to therapy appointments. Unlike my psychiatrist's office, which is only a 5 minute drive away, the therapy offices are 25.
Our garage door spring broke. That needs to be replaced/fixed. About 14 years ago, and before, I used to consume a lot of alcohol. Even more than my husband. But I did cut down to less than moderate drinking. Hubby had, too, but over the past year, he's started to drink more and not super cheap stuff. I'm not worried about his drinking, but the alcohol bill is so high again. Just today we spent almost $300 at the liquor store. The wine and harder stuff will last a bit more than a month, but not the beer. We don't buy swill. |
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#97
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Quote:
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#98
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Grief has hit me, finally. I am grieving the happy, healthy life i thought i would have for the rest of my days when it seemed that the Wellbutrin was working. Now i am back to my stinking f!cking depression, plowed under. I really thought i had it made there for a few months. Everything is so much easier when you're happy. Happy, healthy people are really lucky. Now it's a victory if i get myself to take a shower. I spend 14 hours in bed. I'm only up ten hours of the day. I dread the rest of my life.
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#99
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Hello everyone and happy Saturday; I hope everyone had a good Saturday. You already know how I feel about the weekend; I love getting to sleep in and Saturday is usually date day for me and M and this Saturday was no different. I just love spending time with him just cuddled up on the couch talking feeling amazing. I really love every second we spend together.
We went out to dinner and I ran into a table of old coworkers from that place and one of them said something very snotty towards me; so M and I left; but not before I ran my mouth; it was very therapeutic to me. I had been hanging onto so much anger that it was nice letting it go. Probably not the nicest thing for me to do; but it felt very good to my brain. M held my hand and told me that he was proud of not letting them get to me; he also said that my psych G would be very proud of letting it go instead of keeping it in. Not to mention what she said was very rude that upset even M and he tends to let things roll off. So he and I ate elsewhere away from them. Tomorrow I church day and I get to meet his sister her husband and two children. Which should be nice; I think next Saturday I'm going to let him meet my Aunt and Uncle and my nieces officially. He's already met Auntie and the youngest girl; but not as my boyfriend. Hugs to everyone ![]()
__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
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#100
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Today I developed a new routine in my original isometric exercise regimen in which I exchange a prolonged series of firm handshakes with myself.
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