Is this a thing ....

I’ve been told by a few people, (including “professionals” ) none of whom are in my life any more, that I’m “too needy”. To be honest, this judgment makes me angry. Do you think I’m “abnormal” to feel annoyed by being summed up and judged in that way? I’m a complex human being/bear and I also try to be respectful of others, and their boundaries. I beat myself up when I fail. And this doesn’t help...like many here I’ve had many abusers in my life who were very effective at harming me

have they told you WHY they say that?

No... in the case of a “professional” he informed me that I was a “needy child and my needs weren’t met”



I didn’t find that particularly helpful, or insightful.

My maternal unit informed me I could not reside under her roof even for 2 weeks since I “needed” to.. I was still a cub (also I had such severe allergies I couldn’t sleep on a friend’s floor or anywhere near someone who has furry critters )

I still have those severe allergies

My maternal unit did a simaller thing when I was 16. I'm sorry your maternal unit did that to you. You survived though. The most healing thing for me was watching my maternal unit grow up and interact with her grandkids. Even though they don't like my son.

I’m glad your maternal unit grew up and was/is able to interact with her grandkids.

I’m sorry your maternal unit did a similar thing to you.

I didn’t find any of the units grew up . They never went for any sort of “help”

Since I was always “The bad and wrong person” in their perception.

Although they blamed me for not having “grown up”

Sorry to hear that, Fuzzy.

Whether you're actually needy or not, it doesn't matter. Spend time doing the things you enjoy doing and being around the people you enjoy being around. The haters can think whatever they want, but this is YOUR life that YOU are meant to enjoy. Don't let them ruin it for you because they have their panties in a knot.

Also, not everybody will "appreciate" you, and that's okay. No one is universally liked because some people find stupid, nitpicky reasons to hate someone. Sometimes it's friends, sometimes it's family. (And yes, it's B.S.) If someone can't treat you with the same respect you give them, then they're not worth your time. Don't let their sour behavior eat you up inside because that's what they WANT to see. Don't give them what they want. If you have to cut them off, then so be it. Your mental wellbeing is more important than trying to rectify a toxic relationship.

Just because things don't work out for you, it doesn't mean that you've failed or that it's your fault. I've had friendships that didn't work out, and it wasn't because *I* failed. It was because they were sour, selfish, greedy people to begin with and I didn't realize it until their true colors showed. But even though I didn't realize it, I didn't fail at the friendship. I did my part by being respectful and kind, and they didn't do theirs. So the only one who "failed" was them. And if they don't like me, then go right ahead. "You live your life, I live mine."

my maternal unit didn't get help menopause helped her. Can you do a work book since you haven't found a good T?

Thanks blue, good post

Hey there, Fuzzy!

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

I agree with Blue's very insightful post!


WC

I have been told I'm needy too. I agree it's judgmental and hurtful. Let he who is without fault throw the first stone. Mostly my sister tells me this and it hasn't helped our relationship.

((((((((( Wild Coyote ))))))))

I’m sorry you’ve been told this too. “Let he who is without fault throw the first stone” - agreed. It is judgmental and hurtful and it doesn’t help any relationship

I've often thought of myself as needy- actually I'm like a little Elizabeth the second

yes, a lot of it is because of abuse from my parents, but also it's because I want the best from things- I don't just want, for example, to use a standard product you buy in a shop

if you can buy the deluxe, higher end version, I'll have it- even if that means saving up (and that's something I don't tend to do)

my response is to go around stating "I want this"

most of the time I don't care what people think.

like said above somewhere, you can't please everyone- and honestly I gave up worrying what people thought of me a long time ago

I'm of the impression that most people are useless. perhaps not what I thought years ago, but that's how I think now.

(I can't wait for the day robots rule the world.)

Yes its a thing but people dont need to be assholes about it.