If I don’t do “this” something bad will happen

I can’t stand this. I seem to go in cycles with this. When my anxiety is worse it escalates.
On and off since I was a kid and more so as I get older, when I’m feeling anxiety I start doing the whole telling myself if I don’t do such and such then something bad will happen. It’s been all day today. I even feel if I don’t worry enough about
something that happens to be bothering me then something bad will happen. So if something did happen it would be my fault for not worrying enough. (Or from not doing the task or whatever I was telling myself). I’m even telling myself right now that by posting this I’m playing with fire that something will happen.
I’d take a lorazapam but it does squat.
Trying CBT, breathing, distraction, any suggestions how to not get to this point?
I’m beside myself..

Sounds like you're doing all the right things, I'm so sorry they don't seem to be working.
I've not got any ideas atm, but wanted to respond. I'm so sorry this is happening to you...

I'm not a dr, but is that OCD? I ask that because it sounds like the obsessive part of OCD (and not everyone w/ OCD has compulsions or rituals). Part of OCD is a lot like "if I don't do this and don't do this in a specific way, then something bad will happen."

Well, whether it's OCD or not, it sounds like you could benefit from some OCD therapy techniques. Try: My Anxiety Plan for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder | Anxiety Canada

Sorry to hear. The only thing i dont see on your list is exercise?

Hi!
I am very sorry you have been having a difficult time.

It looks like you've been trying many of the methods which might help.
There are a few good suggestions added above.

I haven't much to add, except to tell you I am thinking of you and I hope you can get relief asap.


WC

I did go out to shovel the driveway. You’re right though I do need to get out and exercise more.

That makes sense. I do have other obsessive behaviour at times but not the compulsive part. I’ll check out the link. Thank you

Shoveling the driveway IS exercise.

This may sound truly odd, but is worth trying: the paradoxical approach of allowing yourself - no, insisting that you do engage in precisely the activities or thought patterns that you are hoping to avoid. If you are hoping to avoid worry, focus on worrying to the max.

Thank you for the suggestion. I’d forgotten I had tried that as I just feel too scared. It’s still all happening today (and yup I shoveled again ). I s cleaned out drawers, made soup and bread but it sneaks into those things too. But I’m going to really pay attention and the next time it’s telling me to do it or not do something I will try to let it go. Even if I just manage to do it once today.
I don’t think I’m ready to try to increase my worrying, I kinda don’t know how much it’s possible to increase it. It can already paralyze me, feel like my brain is outside of my skull and want to crawl under the covers and cry.

Thank you for your responses. I appreciate it

I love shoveling snow!! I was kinda on manic side but first big snow this year was overnight, I stayed up all night and shoveled mine and neighbors areas multiple times.

Wow that’s a lot of shovelling! It’s after 11pm here and now I want to go out and shovel again but I know that won’t go down well with the family. I’ll be dragged back in. I’m not doing the “do this or...” thing right now but feeling very agiatated, my mind is restless and I know I should go to bed and take a sleep med but I’m just so sick of them even though Ive gotten down to low dose. Sorry....I digress....
Interesting observation, while I was at work today for 4 hours I didn’t do the “do this or”once. I guess I should go to work all my waking hours!

No problem.

Just FYI... Some people colloquially refer to such a form of OCD as “Pure O OCD.” There is also self harm OCD, contamination OCD (e.g., extreme germaphobia which may lead to handwashing rituals), etc.. I only know about this since I was previously diagnosed with OCD and did a little research on it. But you can look up those terms if you want more info.

If you think “Pure O” is a possibility, it might be worth asking your doctor or therapist about (if you have a therapist). Maybe your symptoms align or don’t align with the condition’s symptoms, but if the doctors think you may have Pure O OCD, then they may be able to tailor your treatment plan such that your plan is better suited for you. And FWIW, I think a lot of people who have OCD don’t realize they have it because they don’t fall into the mainstream media portrayal of OCD.

Of course, I’m always an advocate of awareness, but I do draw a fine line between awareness and self diagnosis, which is why I always research and consult.

I checked out that website. I think I certainly fall into the "Inflated Sense of Responsibility", "Overestimation of Threat", and "Intolerance of Uncertainty" categories.
I see my pdoc next week and I've a feeling she is going to strongly suggest finding a therapist and sticking to it this time (I've always given up after a couple of sessions although I think that is partly due to just not connecting with the T). In the meantime I shall do my homework so I am prepared to address this.

It sounds like OCD to me but of course I'm not your doctor. Thinking you need to do something to prevent something and then doing it sounds like a compulsion.

I’m starting to see there can be a big overlap of symptoms between bipolar, anxiety disorder, and OCD.
I think it’s time to get out for a walk and get some air!