Sense of self

Anyone else struggle with the idea of sense of self? I mean I am who I am, but who am I? -- kind of a circular logic, but it makes a point. Are we the sum of the components that make us up or is there something more? You can define yourself based on your occupation, your interests, your family... in the south in a small town it's more common to say " I'm so and so's son/daughter" than it is to even use your own name. But who are you, really? there is a intimacy with that question I really love and hate at the same time...

you see -- I don't ever like the question of "who are you?" when asked in the sense of tell me about you. I don't know how to answer it. I don't know where to even begin. What is pertinent and what isn't. I know I am more than the pieces of my life (I'm a teacher, I'm a lover of language, I am a human male...) but I don't know how to bring those pieces together in a collective whole that ever sounds complete. I hope I'm making some sense here. I mean there are aspects of myself I'm finding I never thought I would. I'm doing, seeing, acting in ways I never thought possible... it's almost redefining me every moment , if I accept that idea of sense of self.


Anyone else ever really delved into the idea of who we are?

I am like many people, I am like many other things like animals but there is only one me . I am unique in all of the universe. Find that one thing that is like everything but is different than everything else and you have found you. I believe my soul is me and I am eternal. Maybe I’m wrong but try and prove it lol we are all creations of our loving Heavenly Father. I guess that’s one way to define yourself lol

read the power of NOW.

Lots of free thinkers, searching for the truth.
hubby has been reading about non dualism...way over my head.
bizi

Yes and its quite common, at least for me. It's not that i dont have an identity or know who I am but more that I want to blend in and be part of my surroundings. I lived in LA and fit right in but I did things totally different that when I move to the midwest. I've always wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. I learned to fake it, but there was times I couldn't but I'd play it off I was sick and wasn't feeling good. Most people are irritated anyways when not feeling well so it was a perfect cover. I took out my rage against bullies and jerks. I stood up for those that couldn't because I know what it is to be different but I could hide it by lifting weights, playing every sport, learned to play 7 instruments. I played it off that I'm an extremely competitive person and I wanted to be the best. People don't understand people can be bipolar and they'll think damn that's one competitive dude. Everyone want to be my friend and voted me as class president then student council. I got to play a solo at a high time marching band at a USC and UCLA which for those that don't know its 2 rival universities in LA, California.

I ended up finding that I'm good at managing and not only good but I'm now an executive where I work and I'm over several different departments. I'm happy at work or more like a sense of gratification.

I know who I am but because of society I keep who I really am from everyone that knows and respects me. Everyone views the ones that cant control themselves and blows up at everyone or super depressed all the time and that's how 100% of bipolar people are. I'm 38 and only met a few like me and i can count them using just 1 hand. But even those arent exactly like me. We are individuals with our own personalities with same traits.

I enjoy pushing myself to the limits and then some. I tackle the most challenging tasks I can find. Simple tasks bore me and I'll assign that to the administrative assistant. I'm always looking for multiple hobbies to do. I love multitasking and being manic is almost 2nd nature.

The more you learn the more you change and get into new and interesting things. Just be careful that you'll learn more than your surroundings can let you. I became super depressed when I lived in the midwest. I couldn't find anything challenging and that would fill that void. I felt an emptiness and I was just wasting my life.

Everyone that I met had basically the same why that felt about things. And everyone has lost it completely as least once or more. I was taken in when I was younger a few times. I was at war with myself for many years now I'm only at war with myself when I start going to far into my mania. If I let it I cant control myself and it's like it takes control and I'm seeing my life as a dream almost.

Since I'm alway on the go and didnt want people to think I'm coked out. Had standup desks for everyone. They could sit all the time if they wantrd but I gave them the option to stand too. It worked and I'd go to different departments and they would stand and talk to me with they desks raised so I could see what the issue was that I needed to look into. I'd have situations where I would need to make quick decisions. I'm alway manic and if I dont keep it in check it'll take control. Having my job and what I do helps a lot. I'm able to release who I am in a positive, successful, and increasing revenue by promoting a productive workforce. Life to me is like chess, I want to win by creative and complex moves to win. I love to win.

[Hook: T-Pain]
All I do is win, win, win no matter what (What)
Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ('Nough)
And every time I step up in the building
Everybody hands go up
And they stay there (There), and they say yeah (Yeah)
And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down
'Cause all I do is win (Win), win (Win), win
And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there

Most of my life I have had a pretty good idea of my sense of self. Only when I was extremely sick with bipolar disorder did "me" seem a bit lost, jumbled, and seemingly trapped.

I feel I am a myriad of feelings, sensations, and experiences more than a physical being. That I am part of and separate from the world around me. I have mostly been present, but not locked into a body or a place. I feel I can travel and become one with things like music or sounds, nature, love, pain, ecstasy, struggle, scents, longing, frustration, light, colors, contentment, temperatures, etc. Life, to me, is like a dance or flight which takes me to new places (of all sorts), and though it seemingly repeats some steps/routes, it is never really done in the exact same way.

I love information and absorbing/processing it, and playing with it to do new things, go new places, and to take me where it will. I've always believed that art and math and science are very much alike in many ways, and we all live all of these things. It is sort of a religion to me. That's how I see life.

Lately I have felt like this, but I think it is partly because of how unwell I was for the past year. That and the obsessive thoughts I have had convinced me I was practically a monster, and made me question everything about myself. Pretty much think I have been seriously overanalyzing who I am instead of living my life. I am working on being present in the moment and living by my values, checking in with my feelings, making time for my interests, that sort of thing. I am kind of reconnecting with myself by doing this.

I’m still trying to somehow figure “ me out”

Work in progress

there is no me ... I work .. I eat and I sleep ... that is all there is .... I am what was coined a "non person" ...

It is the ultimate philosophical question that few find an answer to. I find myself shifting between different versions of 'me'. I try to find the centre, and occasionally have moments of revelation as to who I really am, but mostly I feel kinda close but so very lost at the same time.

I think who you think you are can change over time. I know that who I think I am has changed as I have gotten older and sober. Now I view who I am through the qualities I value the most, not by my interests or accomplishments or failures. I am kind and honest. I try to do my best by my fellow human. I am flawed but I apologize when I have done wrong. I try to see all points of view. I value the human experience. I believe there is always hope and no one is a "lost cause" and unworthy.

Philosophy makes my brain hurt. So I've never considered myself philosophical really, at least not in a whole enchilada sense. The "big questions" don't really grab me. What's the point of exhausting my brain with unanswerables?? I do what's right because it's what's right, I need no further motivation or reason.

As far as knowing who I am, yes, I do. And I really don't have an interest in blending in. Don't misunderstand -- I don't go out of my way to, for instance, "shock" (after all, ultimately that is choosing based on what other people think, though that irony is lost on many). I just am who I am. I often don't "follow the herd", but it's not out of any plan, it's just that I don't get why people want to.

Some episodes have taken me out the the "real me zone". But of course that really didn't work out.

I know what I'm not.

I'm not a gold coin.
I'm not Miss Sympathy.
I'm not sacrificing my wishes to please anyone.

Either you take me at face value, or don't take me at all.
Most important, I don't care what or who thinks about me.
I have absolutely no shame or fear.
If I said it, it is said. Your turn.

That's my relationship with the world.
Now, internally is not that simple.

I'm my worst enemy. Never my best critic.
I've taken self destruction to a sport.
A torrent of talent. Wasted.
No regrets. It was pre destined to be this way.

Besides, my life is almost ending, to worry about
what could have been.
This dude is too complicated for a simple man.
No effort will be wasted trying to figure myself out.

Cheers.

Every time I think I have a handle on who I am and what I want something major comes along to show me I have no clue. The only thing about myself I really know is that I'm evolving constantly. I try to find comfort in that because it is reliable. I have a few core truths, but everything else is fair game for change.

The way I look at it:

All the experiences, interests, values, etc. are like facets of a cut gem. All those facets are not the gem, but a part of the gem. The gem is who I am, all those many facets that shine.

I’ve heard of this before.. thanks for reminding me

Forgot to mention.
According to Sociology, you are not who you think you are.
But what others perceive you are.
Big deal. And who cares.

Cheers.

I 2nd this

I lose my sense of self on a regular basis. I'm 53 and I'm at a point in my life where I'm asking the standard questions. What next? Where am I going? Is this all there is? I try very hard to gain a sense of direction but the day overwhelms me. I am a teacher and when I walk into school, I get bundled by the kids. Questions. Requests. I offer everything and get nothing in return, nothing I can use to define my day. In truth, I have a significant benefit in what I do - my day FLIES by. The days never drag. But in the end, I'm just an empty shell.

I’m 53 as well and feel a lot like that as well. I want to make a difference and make my mark but I am a stay at home dad caught in a circle of cleaning , cooking, transporting etc . I don’t get out much and feel alone a lot but I’ve been focused on my mental health a lot lately and next will add my physical health. It has been improving greatly and now I see myself as a successful parent who has accomplished a lot. My self image and eastern seem to be greatly impacted by my health. So I say all this because I came to realize our ability to see ourselves clearly depends on good health at least for me it does.

I find that a predictable schedule helps - come up with a plan each day and accomplish a few things. The gym also helps me......you make a great point. Our health is important to self image. I know I'm not 18 anymore, but at the same time, why not? Right? Start small and walk the road methodically. And you mention cooking - I love to cook and take it as a challenge (no BP surprise there)! I try all sorts of new fun things and just try to wing it as best as I can.

Predictable schedule helps for sure. Having the motivation to keep the schedule is another thing. I'm sick of being sick. So the obvious answer is to stop viewing yourself as sick.

It's them i realize I just don't like life, my life, itself. Perhaps the bipolar has little to do with it, other than rubbing me of everything and everyone I've ever had in life..

Viewing the world in a different way is something I've dealt with for many years. What makes others happy and excited is the equivalent of all those people trying to be happy doing baby activities and playing with baby toys. In that scenario we're now the same. I'm bored and tired of faking it and for what purpose.

The reason why I can't stay motivated is, what I'm doing gets boring quickly and I hate wasting my time and money.

As for robbing you of everything, from my perspective I've noticed that I purposely push people away. It's a lot of work to have friends and my way of thinking is to advance for the majority of people. I hate mundane conversations and childish games.