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#1
May 25, 2019, 08:03 PM
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Which is better …
to be completely numb but totally calm and relaxed … or to be filled with life but nervous and scared of everything … this is the knife edge I have decided to live on … I am just so tired of living in a fog … the feeling of having a life is slowly coming back … slowly … as I ease up on the drugs (meds) , the old anxiety and fears are coming back … so I am trying to keep a careful balance … I just hope it is possible to keep such a balance , I truly fear a trigger and going over the edge … and more importantly I fear the beast (depression) coming back … it just feels I would rather be (gone) than keep living in this walking dream state ... my life now is so empty I just have to try something different … I just want to feel something again … Tigger …. |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, bizi, Jedi67, MickeyCheeky, Unrigged64072835, Wander
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 MickeyCheeky
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#2
May 25, 2019, 09:20 PM
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It is a horrible state to be in. I have a balance similar but that is with the PTSD more often than BP. IS your numbness med related? Is there anything personal you need to work through that might be making you withdraw into numbness? My answer to your question would be in the short term do whatever keeps you safe but plan for stability and ability to feel normal emotions in the future. I am so sorry you are going through this. It must be awful. There has to be an answer. Hang in there.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| bizi, Jedi67
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| wiretwister
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#3
May 26, 2019, 02:05 AM
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Just becareful friend
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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