[ladyconfused]

So, I’ve been bipolar majority of my life. Just wasn’t fully diagnosed until about three years ago. Every single romantic relationship that I have during May time I start to have serious doubts about the relationship. Yes, there usually are stressor before these intrusive thoughts start. I’ve been with my husband 10 years, married 8. I have had doubts on and off throughout our relationship. But the thoughts never stick. I’ve been really stupid with my medications lately. But I started out taking 40mg Prozac full time without a mood stabilizer and/or antipsychotic. I started to have constant thoughts about not loving my husband, maybe I’m just scared to be alone, maybe I want to be alone, he doesn’t deserve this. But I know when I’m not obsessing that I’m crazy about him! He really is the love of my life. He is the only person I would fight this hard for against these thoughts. He’s really supportive as well. I tell him I don’t know why he deals with it. He tells me it’s not me. It’s just something I’m going through. It’s like every time I start to have doubts, complications, or anything in any other part of my life my brain automatically turns it towards my romantic relationship. Does anyone have any experience with this? Or has ever heard of this?

[Victoria'smom]

It happens with me but then I get paranoid of him which causes more problems.

[BipolaRNurse]

I was married for 36 years to a wonderful man who loved me unconditionally despite the hell I put him through. Throughout our marriage I used to ask him why he put up with me, how could he love me, when would he have seen enough and leave me? He just answered, "You're my wife. That's what a husband does." He was more relieved than anyone when I was diagnosed bipolar NOS...finally there was a name for the monster that twisted me into shapes nobody recognized. He stood by me even when I had to go to the hospital, never missed a visit, and held me when I was bawling my head off because I was so upset over my new diagnosis of bipolar 1. He was with me every step of the way for 36 years until he passed away in 2016.

Take-away lesson: Don't believe you don't deserve love because of your illness. It sounds like your husband is as good as gold. Hang on to him, because there aren't a whole lot of men out there who can live with us bipolar folk. Best wishes to you.

[Nola0250]

I get paranoid about my boyfriend when I get bad. But there’s nothing to be paranoid about, he’s awesome. I keep a journal and it helps me to go back and read it when I get bad. When I read the exact same thoughts have happened before, it helps to ground me in reality.

[Unrigged64072835]

I do have doubts about my marriage at times. I still love him and he loves me, but our relationship has changed from since we met and after we were married. He asks me if we’re cool all the time, and I would have no problem telling him if we’re not.

If it’s an annual thing, especially around May, I would consider seasonal changes as well. For most people, as there is more light they get restless no matter how good their lives are, including relationships.