[sadveiledbride]

I have no place to hide from the hateful thoughts, the anger, the depression and grueling thoughts that kill me inside. Why do I even bother posting here? Anger consumes my soul and takes me inside.

[Skeezyks]

Yes, I can relate to this... unfortunately. I think we all need somewhere to share what's going on with us, even if it's just on-line here on PC. So I hope you continue posting here even if it sometimes seems it's not worth the effort.

[Mopey]

I'm sure Skeezyx is right, Bride. There's a lot to be said for just venting, even if it doesn't change the situation.

Also, where are all those "hateful" thoughts coming from? What might be their source?

[BlindBetta]

Emotions are a filter, But you are in control of the camera. Emotions effect you and can make life so much harder but the one effecting your actions is till you. Always remember you control what you do. When you are experiencing heavy emotions always use logic because your emotions can't be trusted. The anger you feel is irrational since it has no reason to be there so it should not effect you. For me emotions swell up and go away unless I feed them. Distraction is a possible way out .i.e go look at puppies and kitties on computer or if you have an animal go be affectionate. This sounds like dysphoria I get but more sever. Dysphoria is Euphoria's evil twin brother. You get a similar high but it is seeded in destruction. It makes you kind of paranoid, you think negative thoughts, you kind of want to destroy parts of your life and kind of feels good. Do Not Act On These. Thoughts. I would recommend you go see your doctor/Therapist/Physiologist they can give you tips/whatever to help handle this. I wish you well.

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Mopey

I'm sure Skeezyx is right, Bride. There's a lot to be said for just venting, even if it doesn't change the situation.

Also, where are all those "hateful" thoughts coming from? What might be their source?

Perhaps unregulated emotions combined with bad experiences and mistrusting of people.

[Mopey]

Have faith, keep persisting, and maybe you’ll have some better experiences to add to and sweeten your memories. For one thing, there are people here who care about you and want to help you, even if we don’t exactly know how. 🌹

[fern46]

Maybe hiding is no longer an option. I'm sorry you are having to face these thoughts, but you came here and you were honest about it. That feels like facing what you're dealing with and I think that is brave. Mopey is right. Many of us care and we wish we could help lift your spirit.

[Wander]

I am sorry you are struggling so much. All I can offer is to say, hang in there as things may get much better in the future. I had many, many years of torment and mental torture due to this illness and now I am free. I know it may not last but at least I am having a long break. Right now you need all the support you can lay your hands on, including coping skills for the times when no one else can help. Please keep posting if it helps you. We care.

[sadveiledbride]

Originally Posted by Wander

I am sorry you are struggling so much. All I can offer is to say, hang in there as things may get much better in the future. I had many, many years of torment and mental torture due to this illness and now I am free. I know it may not last but at least I am having a long break. Right now you need all the support you can lay your hands on, including coping skills for the times when no one else can help. Please keep posting if it helps you. We care.

Thank you so much Wander -- I'm glad to her you're free and I hope it lasts.

[~Christina]

Posting on PC might not really help, support and ideas might not work or even be attempted but what I do know to be true for me at least is ..... typing out even a brief post is like letting off a bit of steam from a insane boiling pot.